Hag Fishes

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My name is Khari Spencer, and I am running for treasurer. I know all of you are probably tired and bored of hearing all these speeches of people telling you to vote for them, so I hope my speech stands out to you. I think the quote “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away,” is something we should all keep in our minds. If I am elected for treasurer, I will try to make school something that you wish you could go back to.

Money moves the wheels of history,
and this year I will move those wheels like never before
in the history of this school. Friends, desks and chairs will tremble and shake with the triumphent roar of coins and cash flowing into the hands of our excellent student council.
Things will get done and we shall acquire great things for all people of all ages and classses within this family that is Paradise. Things will be done, and they will be done for -you-.
As Franklin Roosevelt once said, "Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort." I feel that we can all embrace the joy of achieving something great this year, and I know that all of our efforts will bring a financial blessing upon the school if you elect me for student council treasurer.

What would make me a good treasurer? What qualities could I possibly possess that could accord me the rights to be in any position of relative power? Behind this outer shell of awesomeness and an incredible personality lies someone who is more than capable of being meticulous. I've yet to overdraw my checking account (I'm saving that for college), and I actually do work out a personal budget (granted, that's something I'm made to do, but hey. It still counts.). This ridiculous amount of person greed and over the top focus on personal finance would make me an excellent treasurer. As for the non-financial element of the position, while it's true I've never held an...
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