Graduation Speech

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Dear graduates, faculty, parents, and esteemed guests,

We've gathered here today to commemorate, the egress of one class and ushering in of another to these hallowed halls of Grosse Pointe North High School via a graduation ceremony. However, it is more applicably a death, than a graduation. Please, lend me your ears, so as to stiffen the morbid conjecture that is immersing itself within your minds at this very moment. For you see, in the days of yore, when Norsemen still roamed this earth, they believed irrevocably in the notion of death as the ultimate triumph of an assailed human body and spirit; not as a catalyst of immense dread and anxiety. Yet, many of the individuals present on this field would indubitably remonstrate this ideology today. Nevertheless, I will attempt to disperse the doubt among the vast audience of my peers, proud parents, administrators, principals, and counselors.

Gerry, an Irish Abbey Road Studios doorman in 1972, simply stated "I am not frightened of dying. Any time will do; I don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying? There's no reason for it—you've gotta go sometime" Such is the epitome of Norsemen beliefs that to perish in any form of mortal struggle will inevitably lead to victory by gaining entrance to Valhalla. Valhalla…quite common diction in the proximity this educational institution. Now stop and ask yourself; "What is Valhalla and how does it levee any consequence over us; the seniors who are moments away from receiving our diplomas? Still don't know (rhetorical question)? Well, Valhalla is the the home for those slain gloriously in battle in Norse mythology; where who are welcomed by Bragi (God of Poetry) and escorted by the valkyries (minor female deities, whose purpose is to choose the most heroic of those who have died in battle and to carry them off to Valhalla). It is said to have five hundred forty doors, so wide that eight hundred warriors could walk next to each other, walls made of spears, a roof...
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