Good and Weak Thesis Statements
There is really no wrong way to write a thesis statement, you either have a good or a weak thesis. I am going to explain four weak thesis statements I was given, then tell you what was weak about them and how to make it better. A weak thesis fails to take a stand and not be specific towards the topic. Just making an observation or an overly broad claim will not work. A good thesis is ideas that answers a question, it usually starts with an observation that is something you want to figure out rather than something that you think you already understand. It should also indicate the point and justify the topic. The first sentence was “I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in the origin of species”. This statement is weak because you should never start it by saying I am going to write about. An other reason is the sentence makes no claim and doesn’t raise specific issues to explore. A good way to rewrite this sentence would be “Darwin’s concerns of the origin of species leads him to leave out a conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution as a matter of interdependence.” I think this thesis statement is a good example of a sentence that makes a claim. The second sentence I was given was “The jean industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.” This statement doesn’t explain what the industry is targeting its just a bold and obvious statement. It’s a weak one and it could be fixed by a question about the facts, raising an issue would work, or even making an assertion which would be possible for readers to disagree. A good way to fix it would be “ By inventing new terms like boot cut, relaxed fit, and skinny jeans, the industry tried to make them normal for our older consumers. Now this third sentence I thought was the best out of the four, but was still a little weak. The sentence was “An important part of one’s college education is...
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