Ten Commandments of Marriage
A recast of Ian Frazier’s Laws Concerning Food and Drink
Marriages are made in heaven. But, so are thunder and lightning.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least 100 grand.
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Marriage and love are purely matters of chemistry.
That is why a wife treats her husband like toxic waste.
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
R. Shane Barnes
Genre Recast Essay
ENG 2989 Sec. 32
The topic I have chosen for my Laughing Matters genre recast is a humorous perspective on marriage, and the everyday differences between men and women in a relationship such as marriage. I do not intend to persuade the audience for or against the idea of marriage, but rather, persuade them to look at the difficulties and tribulations of marriage, in a more light-hearted manner. The type of genre I chose was the “list” format; specifically, the Ten Commandments format. By using the Ten Commandments...
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