February 19, 2013
CRASH! The third flower vase bites the dust as another brawl breaks out. The tension accelerates between a married couple when he had a lousy sales day, and she then tries to talk about it. He pauses and thinks about it, and she think he’s ignoring him. Offended, she lashes out at him, and she then storms off. He has a short fuse as well and has had enough. This is a typical scenario for a married couple who do not yet have the skills of understanding their partner. Men and women have different ways of perceiving what you are trying to get across because women want to talk, men seek advice. The best way for women to relieve their stresses is to talk everything out. Often times the man will interject, giving a flow of solutions to her problems wanting to help her. He has the best intentions, but she doesn’t want to be interrupted. She wants to proceed talking, but he doesn’t realize this. Men on the other hand if they ask for help, they would like advice. If you give them advice when they don’t ask for it, they will think that you don’t trust them, and they can’t do something themselves. Their pride frequently gets involved and they become defensive. Women don’t conceive this, and didn’t mean to make him upset. (www.towson.edu) When things are taken a step further and both sides are enraged, women are a predictable in this sense because they would like to talk things out while men prefer to be isolated. When he is disgruntled, he often seeks refuge to a place where he can go and think. The reason for this is because he doesn’t want to say anything to her that he knows he will regret. John Gray referred to this as “Getting burned by the dragon” (n.d.).
Because the man retreats to his cave, the woman goes to the cave to mend their relationship. He only wanted peace and quiet and he only gets more frustrated. Ultimately, she ends up getting burned, and he ends up regretting what he said....