Men and women's roles in relationships are different from one another. The differences between men and women affect the way they communicate with each other. By having gender differences Deborah Tannen reveals the affect on the communication patterns in an essay called "Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers". The author demonstrates how the misunderstanding between men and women affects the patterns in relationships. While many patterns and roles played a role in the essay, childhood lifestyle, the misunderstanding between the two, the misinterpretation, the strong silent type of men and the arguments that lead to understanding played more of a significant role. Due to the early ages of childhood, men and women often have different lifestyles growing up. They learn how to make conversations by peers and hanging with their own sexes. Tannen points out how both boys and girls socialize differently, "Little girls tend to play in small groups or, even more common, pairs. Little boys tend to play in larger groups, often out doors, and they spend more time doing things than talking" (361). While growing up, girls becoming women often want a boy becoming a man to be a someone to tell secrets to, talk to and be a new best friend,. Men, when growing up often want someone who will do things together and won't be hurt when not having a heart-to-heart conversation. Tannen believes by having different lifestyles as children create why men and women are different in communicating.
The in-congruency expectations from both men and women are causing misunderstanding, misunderstanding between the two, which causes them differences in relationships. When men and women communicate, women often tune into metamessages more than men. Tannen states in relationships "Women feel, "After all this time, you show know what I want without my telling you." Men feel, "After all this time, we should be able to tell each other what we want" (355). Due to women wanting to be...
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