Gays vs God (Satire Essay for English)

Topics: Homosexuality, Sexual orientation, Gay Pages: 3 (1014 words) Published: December 10, 2007
Gay's vs God

What is it about gays that just set religious people off? I mean go up to any Catholic ( and by any I mean mostly the grandpa's and grandma's), merely mention the word gay and they immediately whip out this 10 pound bible, complete with trumpets blaring and angels flying around, amazingly enough it managed to fit into their pocket). They then proceed to flip through a million pages and then, without even looking at the passage selected (complete with sticky notes and highlights) begin to recite word for word as to why Gays are evil. They might start off with "If a man also lies with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. (Leviticus 20:13V13) Here it clearly states that being homosexual is a sin, but doesn't it also say that they should be put to death for being gay? Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure God wouldn't want all the glory for being a mass murderer. But I could be wrong, maybe God does want a world full of robots that follow the bible exactly as it is written. But if that were true gays shouldn't be the only ones included. Cheaters, liars, and thieves everywhere, you have been hereby declared against God and should now be put to death. Sorry for the inconvenience. Now I am not gay, I'll admit I even get a little ‘weirded' out when I see two gay people sucking each others faces off, but then again, I get a little disturbed when straight people do that also. I blame it on society. So how is it that I, a normal straight person, have no problem with gays? It's simple really. First of all I'll have you know I have an extremely lousy ‘gaydar'. I can honestly never tell when someone is gay. Two of my friends were gay and I never knew about it until they were talking about their girlfriends! I admit, I was a little thrown off, but despite their supposed ‘abnormality' they were awesome, funny, and kind people. I decided that I...
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