Funny Monologue

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You know, everyone nowadays has a cell phone. 
It's like their lives orbit around that rectangular piece of steel...and it's not even a sphere! I can’t disagree though…I’m one of those people that just can’t part with their phone.  Every few minutes I’ll be checking my phone. (Mimes checking phone) Oh look! I have…zero missed calls, zero new texts, the facebook frontier is quiet… Then I remember I’ve had zero incoming calls, zero texts, and I have three friends on facebook: mom, dad, and my dog. I used to have four but then the cat died.  Anyways, I’ll still be sitting there, or standing there, no difference, with my phone, just messing around with it.  I have one of those sliding phones*click, clack, click, clack*  It’s lots of fun until suddenly; I get a call from my mom wondering why I called. Hello? Oh hi mom….no I didn’t mean to call you!!!

Later on in my uncle’s house, I’m going to bed…getting real sleepy…*ALERT ALERT. ALERT ALERT*  I jumped out of bed, wide awake, grab the bat I always keep by for protection or know.  I’m going around corners like they do in the movies, looking all cool like James Bond in his dino jammies.  I get the the room where I still hear *ALERT ALERT. ALERT ALERT!* going off…and I realize it was my phone.  Nothing like a text alert full volume at 3 in the morning to get the blood flowing!  I checked my phone to find that someone actually texted me! It was…my mother. I read her message. It said that my dog, Sally died. My first thought: "Damn! Now I only have two Facebook friends..."
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