First of all, I'm a big fan of the original two, maybe three Friday the 13th films. Four was alright. Then they started getting ridiculous. Anyway, last night Dan had rented me the new Friday the 13th and now I should be on a hunt for Michael Bay's head with a hockey mask and a machete.
This movie did not carry a subtitle, which, in movie terms, implies a remake, i.e., the recent remake of Halloween by Rob Zombie. That was a okay film, by the way, by comparison. Rob Zombie gave the fans of the franchise a back story, somewhat likable characters (Laurie, Dr. Loomis, maybe the cop), some nostalgic homages and a raw, gritty style. Even Michael Myers was made into a character, instead of just a plot obstacle. It wasn't perfect, but it was a satisfying addition to the over exploited, under executed horror genre. This movie gave the original franchise fan almost none of that and on top of that they Michael Bayed all over it.
There was no story. I take that back. The story was about some kids trying to steal weed and some rich kids being pretty. Way too much of this. The absence of a pointless story is actually what was good about the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There's a brief intro scene which introduces you to the meaningless meat (characters) and then you get right into the hacking.
In this new Friday addition we get way too many scenes with way too much lame, uninspired dialog and no character development. Especially when it comes to the most important character of all... Jason Voorhees!! (By the way, I don't remember hearing his last name mentioned, but I could be wrong.) The most clever dialog was when a kid asks Jason if a hockey stick he finds in a tool shed belongs to him.
The biggest problem with this movie is the way it's being marketed. If this were Friday the 13th: Subtitle, I wouldn't be so hard on it, but this movie was sold with the same title as the original. With the number of remakes being xeroxed lately, we've come to expect a...
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