Expecting Too Much on Children

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Every parent hopes to see their children become a great person in the future. In order to develop their children into a superior kid, they spend lots of time, effort and money on them since they were young. This is leading to an over expectation on children which create tension between parents and children. Parents should set a positive and realistic expectation on their children because expecting too much on them would result in negative self-image, discouragement and anxiety.

Having too high expectation on children can have bad influence to their self-image. As they always fail to meet the expectation, they may think that they are loser and lost their self-confident. This is negatively affecting the personal development of the children, they may not be able to finish difficult tasks in their future career path and cannot get along well with the others because they look down on themselves. To help them building their confidence, parents should not always criticise and blame their children. Try to praise good work and appreciate them when they demonstrate improvement.

Moreover, children would be discouraged under over-expectation. “That doesn't mean they're unable to achieve those expectations; it only means that they don't believe they can”, said by Sylvia Rimm, Ph.D. If the children do not believe in their abilities, they would give up easily and would not try hard to achieve their goals. Therefore they cannot achieve the expectations even they have the abilities to deliver on them. Parents should show their support and encourage them when they have difficulties.

Children would also suffer from anxiety and depression due to the constant failure of achieving high expectations. They may hate themselves, feel worthless and unable to forgive themselves when they cannot perform well. To them, their parents are “Tiger mom and dad” who just often yell at them, cannot understand them and do not care about their feelings. They feel more and more stressful...
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