Exist to Exist

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I think I know where I stand now. My eyes have finally opened up all the way to accept the truth of reality harsh light. There is no hope. I should have stopped wishing for it a long time ago. I am weak and pathetic. Why do I break so easily? Why do I crumble away at the slightest strain? Why do I feel like succumbing to the sweet darkness? Why do I feel? Why I don’t sometimes?

The questions are never ending. It’s always why, or how. I am but a small fragment in this world, a tiny grain quickly overlooked. Society unspoken rules and laws forbid our screams and pleas for help and god has turned away from our silent cries for aid. We are humans. Three words that has been used again and again over time as an ugly excuse to cover up our imperfection. Our actions have stained history with their gory senselessness. Forgiveness does not exist. Salvation is fiction. Everything is a lie.

I look around with weary boredom. Nothing surprises me anymore. My eyes have slowly peeled open the pretty layers that mask life s true intentions. There is no educational journey in search of spiritual peace. There is no cause worth our passion. Everything was just a fabricated cover up of god in his game with the devil. The definition of life is simple, if you’re brave enough to see. Life is nothing but a path laid bare with broken glass and we, the pawns set upon the path with no where to go for his amusement. We are just game pieces with bets set upon our lives to see who will break first.

So tired. I just want to sit down and fall asleep. I just want to sleep and never wake up. The dreams always turn into nightmares, yes. but a small part of me knows that they cannot harm me, cannot cause real pain. I cry in my sleep, yes, but I am not aware. The minute we wake up is the minute the living nightmare begins. Everything is magnified to painful proportions. Reality is cruel. Reality is relentless. Reality is despair.

I go to college. Every hour every minute every second spent...
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