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College scholarship essay - Who are you?

This is for my college scholarship statement. The prompt is: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow? Please let me know what I should add, take out, fix. I greatly appreciate it.

I was born into a family of strict, traditional, Catholic intellectuals in Saigon, Vietnam. My parents were both engineers and leaders in their companies and my aunts and uncles were teachers in the top schools in the city. I was raised on books and the Asian doctrine that education is the only way to success. Being an only child, I was spoiled and pampered, protected in a glass bubble. I did everything that was asked of me, getting straight A's and ranking first in all my classes. In return, my parents took care of me, teaching me and buying me the very best clothes and toys. I lived a very happy life. Shortly before my eighth birthday however, life as I knew it drastically changed. On March 17, 2001, my parents decided to move the family to America, halfway across the globe. At first, I was excited and looking forward to a new life. However, by the end of my first week, whatever anticipation I had had quickly turned to resentment. I started school as soon as I arrived at the end of second grade. I didn't know any English, I had no friends, and I was constantly picked on for the way I dressed and talked. I could not complete any of my schoolwork because I didn't understand anything. Every day my teacher would return papers with the word "COPIED" stamped across the top. I was so ashamed of myself. Worse, I was lonely and overwhelmed, and I felt so utterly lost. Meanwhile at home my parents were pushing me to learn English, bringing home worksheets and books from their ESL classes to...
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