Esei

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Nowadays, in a growing number of parents and educationists (not sure if it's the right use of the word, how about simply using teachers/educators?) begin to pay much attention (have begun to pay attention to a student's lifestyle in university. People tend to hope that students can study hard and do exercises as well. (Students are expected to study hard and take part in other activities as well) Personally, I subscribe to the opinion that the view should be completely agree with. (This sentence is a little long winded and awkward and you need to mention what exactly is the view that you agree with. Be clear with what you intend to say. - how about: Personally, I agree with the view that students should get involved with ... Also, specify some activities here. Note that the question does not only say exercise. It says activities, meaning it could be singing, dancing, sewing, etc.)

For one thing, taking activities can exert positive influence on student's intelligent development, especially full time student who aim to study hard for their future. (Firstly, taking part in activities can positively contribute to a student's intellectual development, especially a full time student who aims to study hard for the future.) According to scientific researches, taking activities everyday help student promote their blood flow so that it can improve their intelligence and concentration. (I think you should not mention scientific research here. Just mention what you know.) What's more, those who often do exercises are more likely to be smart than those who seldom take activities. ('What's more' is a bit too informal. Use other connectors: Moreover, Besides that, Apart from that., etc.)

Secondly, taking activities can cultivate a kind of ability of resisting pressure, regardless of working or studying. (..., taking part in activities can help one's ability to manage stress. It is said that activities are also best characterized by competition. Once they are gradually...
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