JMJ Marist Brothers
NOTRE DAME OF MARBEL UNIVERSITY
City of Koronadal, South Cotabato
Differences between Men and Women in terms of Expressing their Love to their Partners among First Year Psychology Students of Notre Dame of Marbel University By:
Ma. Angelie L. Celiz
Hardrean C. Cabrera
Alyssa Marie S. Miranda
Kimberly D. Montaño
Alnie C. Sabornido
Dr. Armando L. Pama
Professor of ENG 102
Love is indefinable feeling, means love is unconditional. It is a true feeling which is not expressed by words. This is only to be feeling and there is lots of way to define love and every way says something different about it. Now days this holy name is used as fantasy when they know there is no life without love. Love is really very holy word which in really defines the meaning of life. (Gaur, 2008)
In fact, love involves many elements: a feeling, a psychological upheaval, a desire for sexual union, a set of living and parenting arrangements, a sharing of resources (from bank accounts to friends), a mutual defense and caretaking fact, a merging of extended families and more. So complex is human living that according to some authorities, psychologists might have been “wise have abdicated responsibility for analysis of this term and left it to poets”. (Reber, 1985)
Psychologists have found it useful to distinguish different kinds of love and have proposed many different categorization schemes while this schemes differ in important ways, most psychologists agree that there are at least two broad types of love. One is romantic – or passionate love, the kind of love that one that “falls into”, that one is “in”. The other is compassionate love, a less violent state that emphasizes companionship and mutual trust and care. (Gleitman, 2004)
Love is an emotional interwoven with a web of confounding components that is very difficult to unravel. Infatuation is shallow love that is based on appearance, sexual arousal, or selfish desire. True love is based on commitment, empathy, and compassion – components that give rise to physical arousal rather than following it.
Prior to adolescence, a child is capable of loving another person, but that love is based on the need for comfort and attention. A child can fall in “love” with a teacher, classmate, or neighbor but this love is based on the person’s appearance (she is pretty or he is handsome), an undefined raw emotion from within, and the attention that the child gets from the person.
Children think about marriage, but their ideas of marriage are shallow and egocentric. Even though they are capable of doing nice things for the object of their devotion, their love is largely based on what they receive.
Adolescent love is the beginning of real hopes of marriage, sex, and commitment. Theorist Robert Sternberg proposes that healthy adult relationships have three components: commitment, intimacy, and passion. Adolescents are capable of commitment, which is the drive to stay together, but their commitment is limited. Few high school romances lead to marriage. Adolescents are capable of intimacy as well.
Intimacy is the ability to share one’s emotions, thoughts and dreams. Teens can form powerful bonds with friends in whom they confide their secrets, hopes, fears, and dreams. Likewise, teens are capable of passion, which is the erotic or sexual component of a relationship. They experience erotic arousal even if they do not act upon it.
Even though teens are capable of experiencing all three of these components, they cannot balance these three components over a long period of time. For example, two adults can coexist quite happily in a marriage without sex if one or the other is incapable of performing sexually (i.e. a spinal injury). The reason they can do this is because their passion is based on more than simple sexual desire. It is also balanced by their intimacy and commitment to stay together.
Few teens can...
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