English Paper Peer Review Examples

Only available on StudyMode
  • Download(s) : 207
  • Published : May 30, 2013
Open Document
Text Preview
Cameron Behning Ms. Burstrem ENGL 109H The Review by a Public Peer of the Essay that is the 3rd Written During the Spring 2013 Semester of a Mr. William Zandler ! This is a very well written essay so far. You seem to have a very good understanding of the prompt as well as a unique topic. You have done a smart job at splitting up the answers into three major categories and then elaborating on each of them. Cleaver title. I knew what your essay was a bout immediately, but not because your title was overly formal. Based on your title and having read your essay, I would say that your question is “How do we, as human beings, find happiness in our lives?” If your question in which you had in mind was not this or close to this, you need to do one of two things. One, change your essay. Figure out where you started to deviate from your main question. Fix that point. Two, change your question. Look at your essay again with this new question and see what you would add or what language would change to make it fit your interpretation better. I bet, however, that you are fine and the your question and my interpretation are pretty well alined. ! I though you would be hard presses to be able to write a research paper on the topic of finding happiness. You did achieve this well. I believe that you need to find sources better suited to your topic. From what I see you only have one source so far. Now, writing a paper with the intention of finding sources later is smart, but be wary. You don’t want to manipulate source interpretation to fit a pre-written essay. Hopefully you already have some sources in mind and are just finalizing their placement. Be open to changing your essay based on what relevant sources you do find. ! One last note. Your transitions. The change between wealth and life style regularity I found too burled. After finishing the essay, I thought you had only talked about two of your topics and not all three. Though we strive for fluidity, make sure that there is still...
tracking img