Background and Rationale of the Study
A lot of people in the society believe that living within a minister’s home is grandiose, where everybody sees and notices them everywhere they go especially inside the church congregation. It is as if they are the apple of everybody’s eyes. Other families tend to model theirs’ because it is somewhat a picture-perfect family where Mom, Dad and children never miss meals together, prays unitedly and surely a bearer of the Lord’s blessings.
Aside from that, people also perceived that preacher’s or pastor’s children are talented, competitive and possess a godly character. These children believed to always have the desire to serve both God and men, have the willingness consider the good of others better that themselves knowing that one day they will receive a prize for eternity.
But the real life of a pastor’s kid is no such fairy tale. This happens when church members expect better behaviors from the pastor’s kids, when school teachers held them to higher standards than other kids and when pastors have unbiblical expectations for their kids.
Most preachers’ are having trouble in setting their priorities. Pastor Dad has the time for everyone in the congregation except for his own wife and kids. The family gets the leftover time. Modern ministries mistakenly think that they must choose between ministry and family. Preachers are out saving the world and losing their family in the process (Murrel, 2007).
These situations contribute a great deal especially on the adolescent development of Pastors’ kids (PKs) because adolescence is the time of change and transition. It is a stage of growth emotionally, physically and spiritually as well. These rapid changes make it a period of “storm and stress”. Adolescents become emotional and prone to tantrums.
As their personality develops, they begin to assert themselves and seek parents’ respect as well as their own forms, opinions and demands the right to make own decisions. (Mckee, 1983)
If parents show love and care, acceptance, protection, understanding and a sense of value, the child will grow into a confident secure being and a well-adjusted individual. But on the other hand, if they are condemned, neglected and are pressured by parents, they will develop a feeling of fear, hatred, insecurity and guilt.
Modeling is one of the best tools in shaping the lives of children. Young ones tend to look up to their parents and imitate their behavior. They duplicate and model them for they find their parents as good and perfect individuals.
The pattern of effective parenthood starts with the father being the head of the household; leading but not ruling. It is not a dictatorship, but if he will love the family, they will also respond to him in love. The Bible also recognizes the mothers in Paul’s statements in 1 Timothy 5:14 “I will therefore urge that young women marry, bear children, guide the house and give no occasion for the adversary to speak reproachfully”. This statement stresses the responsibility of mothers in the home to provide well for their families (Sheats, 1971).
It is a fact that the parents play a very important role in the lives of children. They are the first person who has the responsibility in molding them. Although man has its own freewill but their personality, perceptions and views in life were really influenced by the hands of their parents and their way of living at home.
Despite of this, a positive home still does not guarantee security and stability of a person. There are still a lot of factors that contribute in shaping the identity of children such as in school, friends and many others. But the parenting styles still holds a very strong influence in the lives of children.
In the same way, PKs also undergo the stage of childhood and adolescence. They are just like other kids who desire acceptance, warmth and affection and also the sense of freedom to make their own decisions....