Effectively Communicating in an Interpersonal Relationship
To the newly wedded couple,
It has occurred to me that our current generation seems to lack the ability to communicate effectively with in an interpersonal relationships and it is through cooperation, collaboration, and compromise that an effective flow of communication occurs. If we analyzing and studying the communication process of both sending and receiving information, we can improve our ability to communicate effectively between one another. “To have a successful interpersonal relationship one must first interact with others, which is called interpersonal communication.” (Hybels, 2007) We spend most of our lives interacting with each other, with a dozen different reasons to talk to different people. We will tend to say things differently depending on who we are speaking too. So there is a lot more to communication that just putting words together and saying them out loud for the other person to hear. The ability to communicate effectively takes real skill and learning this skill never ends, even in a marriage. Being able to communicate effectively is probably one of the most important skills a person can have in a marriage, as the main cause for divorce is the lack of communication between one another. You are the only person that can say what you want your spouse to hear, so if you don’t know how to express what you want to say or explain your intentions clearly, the other one could easily take what you say and turn your own words agains you. So the best way to avoid this situation is to be assertive in how you communicate. When I say you must be assertive, I mean you must express your feelings and ideas openly, honestly, and take responsibility for your actions. It is also being willing to listen to what the other one is saying and respect them no matter how different their opinions may be from yours. You also need to be able to recognizing the emotions in one another, as it is a very important first step to building a good relationship. If one cannot feel what the other one is feeling, then you simply cannot connect with them on a personal or emotional level and that can deeply hinder one’s relationship process. Interpersonal communication is important because of the functions it achieves. Whenever we engage in communication with another person, we seek to exchange information with them, we also communicate information through a wide variety of verbal and nonverbal cues. Spoken communication has huge effects on all aspects of our life, to including interpersonal relationships, just as speaking and telling our needs and wants verbally or non-verbally is a necessity for our daily lives.
Within our daily lives of both work and home, when we exchange information with our spouse, our verbal communication is organized by our language, whereas nonverbal communication is not. We spend about 75 percent of our day communicating our knowledge, thoughts, experiences, and ideas to each other. (Allis, 2002) What we don’t realize is that a lot of our communication is not made up of the oral or written form but of the nonverbal form. In communications involving two or more people, our messages are sent on two levels simultaneously and if the verbal cues are not congruent with the nonverbal cues, then the flow of communication is hindered. Correct or not, if the receiver of the communication will base the intentions of the sender on the nonverbal cues that they recieved. Most couples believe that they will communicate better because of the fact that they are in a relationship with this person and the depth of their personal knowledge and connectivity. (Schoenberg, 2011) All of this is based on the assumption that your significant other understands your intent even though your verbal and nonverbal signals are not matching up. So you two have to be cognizant of the nonverbal signals that you send to each other. Nonverbal cues can be categorized...
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