I finally understand the phrase.. through the hard way. Don't worry, I don't diss exes. That's nasty. Anyways.
Things were going so well for a moment, I was confident it would last, but fate had quite the opposite in mind. Everything was twisted, I felt hurt I've never felt in so long and for a period of time, I was lost. There is no other word that could describe me better than lost. I felt pain, I felt like I was left to survive by myself, and on top of everything, I felt the disgust in being fooled.
You can say I never really believed in the relationship 100%. But somehow I was so optimistic and confident that I couldn't see it end. I thought we were strong. I had to watch everything crumble and watch myself try to pick up the pieces while you stand there watching, almost uninterested. I never thought I could feel such a raging desire to put all the pieces back together and have what we once had.
We were tugging a rope strongly and just as my hands were started to bruise after holding for so long, you let go without a warning and watched me fall.
I did things I never thought I would do. I strayed. I strayed far. There was a handful of people who helped me up, who took care of me, who were always there whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on. But none of them were you, even though you caused all this mess.
When I reminisce, it's so funny how you used the one reason that I told you was the most absurd, most ridiculous, most bullshit material, to get rid of me. Through Skype. On the date we had our first date.
A few days ago, everything reminded me of you. Every freaking thing.
Strawberries. Tokens. Checkered shirts. Polaroid. Guu. Nutella. Urban Outfitters. Vans. Path. Instagram. My pillow. My blanket. My red lacey top. Stockings. Hand sanitizer. Lotion. Green jeans (the restaurant, and the garment). Salad King. Marble Slab. David the security guard. Porsche. Skype. Facetime. Earbuds. ZARA....