Drunk Driving Satire

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Zero-Tolerance For sober Driving
If you are depressed, and no medicines are working for you, alcohol just might be the way out. If you need something to do, getting drunk just might be the solution. Bored? I heard being drunk makes everything just a little more flashy. How about a challenge? The way alcohol really blurs your vision, when driving can really spice up your driving life. If at first you don’t succeed – try, try, and try again. After all, practice makes perfect! Recently, more and more drivers have discovered the joys of drunk driving. However, research indicates that consumption of alcohol while driving can lead to victimization of these innocent drivers. Sober drivers who can think clearly and make logical decisions are the leading cause of death for America’s drunk drivers. Thus, sober driving should be made illegal and drunk driving mandatory.

One of the leading causes of concern for moms today is teen car crashes. Every day, the news is filled with drunken teens that are killed in vicious encounters with sober drivers, light posts and ever trees! However, there are groups of people who are actually trying to convince people that it was the drunk drivers who were at fault! But let’s take a look at the facts: approximately 40% of all motor-vehicle fatalities are alcohol related. This means 50% of motor vehicle fatalities are sober related! As if this is not enough, about 1/3 of the drunkards hospitalized are repeat victims (the feds call them offenders). Clearly, if more of those sober idiots were under the influence, maybe so many innocent drunk drivers would not be killed.

Sober driving is a critical blow to families of the innocent; it also costs public $114.3 billion a year in damages. That means the tax payers have to provide the very money that is used to build poles and plant trees in various traps to ensnare drunk drivers! Obviously, we need to raise the public awareness about the dangers of the sober driver. Almost nothing is being...
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