Keeping American Families Together
The United States of America is the land of the free and the home of the brave; however, it can also be called the country that holds the highest divorce rates. America’s divorce rate in 2010 was at forty one percent and is still currently growing (Divorce Rates by Country). Forty percent of these divorces had children involved (Divorce Rates in America). With such shocking statistics, it is easy to see that America’s divorce system is in dire need of change. Since divorce can ruin families, harm a child’s all around well-being, and holds the potential of being prevented, there should be more strict regulations to receive a divorce and a stronger push for covenant marriages.
Before society can fix the issues with divorce, we must first understand the reason behind the high divorce rate and the problems divorce causes in our society. Many Americans believe that divorce tends to be the outcome of a type of abuse, whether it is to the opposite spouse or a child, or large conflicts. This, however, is not usually the case. William J. Doherty and Leah Ward Sears, authors of “Giving Troubled Marriages a Second Chance”, state that almost all divorces that occur are due to poor communication and poorly handled disagreements. Situations like those can often result in reconciliation once the divorce is finalized. Couples on the brink of divorce simply because they have drifted apart could be helped if they are willing to put in a little effort. With this knowledge in hand, we can have a hope that many divorces could be prevented. However, just knowing the causes of divorce does not really motivate any certain person to want to make a change. People need to understand the aftermath that divorce can cause in a child’s life and the damage it can do to families in America. Divorce is a dark spot on society for a few reasons, one including how it affects families and children. These affects can be both long or short term, but most can be damaging beyond full emotional repair to parents, children, and couples who have yet to have children. According to Divorce and the American Family author, Jan Andrew, divorces can cause anxiety in children. Being that when a child’s parents separate, that child feels that he now has only one parent to really love and protect him with the other parent no longer constantly around. With that new realization a child can also begin to fear about what would happen if that parent dies, or even stops loving him. That newly placed fear can also be the cause of other problems, such as depression. With constant bickering over custody battles, children can begin to feel like they are the ones causing the damage between their parents, especially when custody battles go to the extreme and take months to settle and tend to lead to an unhappy parent that hardly gets to see their child. After living with both parents for so long the child is suddenly thrown into a world with only one guardian to care for them. Older children could feel like they are not being allowed enough time with a certain parent, which occurs mostly in the cases where the child is getting ready to graduate high school and move away to college. The child does not understand why they no longer have two support structures together behind them when they are scared or in need of strong parental guidance. They can also begin to suffer from loneliness, a result of having one less person that loves you around you constantly. They can also begin to feel abandonment from one of the parents, depending on which one receives more, or possibly all, custody with the child. Children can be emotionally damaged for life with the ever constant thought that they are the ones to blame for their parent’s divorce, even though that is almost never the case. Children will feel the need to please whichever parent they are with as a way of apology for not always being there. If we as a society...
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