Texas State University- San Marcos
COMM 1310: Fundementals of Human Communication
My name is Alex. I have anorexia nervosa. Since I was thirteen years old I have struggled with the crippling fear of gaining weight and a completely distorted view of myself. I was insecure and focused on weight at a very early age and continuously obsessed with body image throughout high school.
I grew up in Dallas, Texas until I was about twelve and then I moved with my father to a small town in south Texas. When I began 8th grade I started to develop as many girls and boys did around that time. It wasn’t terrible at first until I started gaining weight with puberty. I saw the fat cumulate from poor diet but it wasn’t just a combination of hormones and shame that struck me the hardest that year, but a slowly developing urge to stay away from food or eating entirely. The gaining of any weight frightened me. I knew that I must exorcise to see results. This I did obsessively. By my freshman year of high school pounds were dropping fast and it was beginning to become something I couldn’t control but, instead, controlled me. I would purge as well out of fear id I was under direct scrutiny, which started to become more frequent. Especially among my friends at school.
I had been a panicked child according to my father. My mother was somewhat chaotic and didn’t really have any stability in her life and that had made me overcompensate to gain control of my life. Though the disorder crept up on me the nerves and unnecessary need to be perfect started at a very early age. I still don’t know what drove me to just a drastic point but I was underweight by my fifteenth birthday and still losing pounds by the week. My father did not recognize the signs I displayed for only a short while. My new step-mother was the focus of his attention and he and I both lacked the skills to successfully communicate when I...