Diary of an Indifferent Woman

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I am a woman
I am a woman
The day I came into this world
I found my extermination was decreed
But I never saw the doors of law courts
nor the faces of my judges!!

The hands of the clock are like the jaws of a whale, ready to swallow me hands like two snakes on the wall
like a guillotine, like a noose
like a knife that rips me apart
like a thief with quick footsteps
following me, following me
Why shouldnt I smash it?
When every one of its minutes smashes me?
I am a woman in whose heart
the pulse of time has stopped
I do not know spring flowers
nor does April know me.

I love the birds of October
they travel wherever they wish
carrying in their suitcases
what is left of the almonds and figs
to get lost like the October birds
Sweet it is to get lost so.

Every now and then
I wish to seek a homeland
a new homeland...not inhabited
and for a God who does not keep on pursuing me
and a land that will not become my enemy
I want to escape from my own skin
from my own voice, from my own language
and stray like the fragrance of gardens
I want to flee from my own shadow
and from all addresses
I want to run away from the East of superstition and snakes
of caliphs and princes
and of all sultans
I want to love like the October birds
O Eastern lands of halter and knives.

I ask myself continually
why should love in this world not be for all,
like the light of the dawn
why should not love be like bread and wine
and like the water of the river
and like the clouds and the rains
the grasses and the flowers?
Is not love for humanity
a life within a life?
Why can't love in this country of mine be spontaneous,
just like a white flower
blooming from the rock
spontaneous as the encounter of lips with lips
why can't people love easily and naturally?
like the stars moving in their spheres
why can't love in this country of mine be as essential as a book of poems?
I'll speak of my girl companions
I see my own story
in that...
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