Diagnostic Essay: "Saying No"

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Diagnostic Essay: "Saying No"

Saying "no" seems like an easy thing to do. No, is just one simple two letter word. Then why do so many people have a problem saying "no" to something they don't want to do? The answer is when people say no to someone, especially a friend, they feel guilty. They might feel like they are hurting their friends feelings by telling them no, or they might feel like they won't fit in with certain people if they say "no". The most important thing to remember is that nobody can force another person to do something they don't want to do. The number one ingredient to get over the fear of saying "no" is to learn to be assertive.

Let us say that your friend is having a bad day. His car broke down and he has to pick his kids up from school in twenty minutes. He asks you to borrow your car for about an hour. You let him borrow it and he brings it back right on time and he thanks you. The next week his wife has his car and he asks to borrow your car again. You really need it and don't want to let him borrow it. So you make up an excuse and he responds by telling you that he just needs it for a minute and he reminds you that you let him borrow it last week. Now you kind of feel obligated to let him borrow your car but you really need it yourself. He starts telling you that you're not a good friend and you start feeling guilty. Stop and think about it. It is your car that you bought with your own money and it is your only form of transportation. All you have to do is tell him "NO." You don't owe him any explanation. It's not your fault that his wife has his car, and if he is a true friend, then you not letting him borrow your car will not mess up your friendship. If it does then he is the type of person that you don't need as a friend.

Saying "no" to a phone solicitor, or to a car salesman should be easier than saying to no to a friend. This is not always the case. Some people have just as much trouble saying "no" to a phone solicitor...
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