Deception when used as a means for sex is achieved by getting one person's consent predicated on false beliefs that have been intentionally used. This interaction involves one person using the other. Deception can be achieved by giving the other person false information, but the simple act of withholding information can also be deception. A more vicious way to achieve sex is through coercion. Using coercion as a means either uses force or undermines the voluntariness of consent through threats. The first type is occurrent coercion where the victims consent is entirely bypassed by physical force. The second is dispositional coercion where the rapist gets consent by employing the threat serious bodily harm.
Both deception and coercion violate Kant's principle that it is morally wrong to treat a person merely as a means. Through deception when lying or withholding information one person is affecting the other's ability to reason properly. This is an immoral act and clearly uses the person merely as a means. Coercing someone into having sex violates Kant's principal by eliminating the other persons voluntary consent. When a threat or force is used the victim is put in a position where they can not reason and make a decision of there own will. By eliminating the other persons voluntary action the perpetrator effectively uses the person merely as a means violating Kant's principal.
One of the most common instances to use someone merely as a means for sex is through deception. The "I love you" line seems to be the key to the chastity belt (at least in the movies). By deceiving the person through a lie you are inhibiting their ability to reason properly which directly violates Kant's principal. This act becomes immoral when the other person would come to a different conclusion if provided all the information.
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