Dark Romantics

Dear mom,

Sometimes i wonder why you would leave me here with my dad. and i know you completely wouldn't do that, but everything that happened was a mistake and it wasn't suppose to happen like this. i wish you were here and i always ask you why do i have to go through this? i shouldn't have to, i'm young and i should be able to live but my dad is such a shitty person and he always talks crap about me to my stepmom and he puts words in my mouth that i never even said. and i always don't know why he does things to make me so mad, like sit here in my room and stare at me? why can't he leave when i ask him to repeatedly times? he can't do that, he always has to be right and i can never be right. so he stands here to prove his point and then he makes me even more furious. i really don't like him and he makes me feel like shit. he wonders why i talk to him the way i do and i don't to anyone else. is because he shitted on me so many times throughout the past 6 years and its made me become more independent and made me feel like i need him less. i can only talk to some people about this to vent, really only nick cause he has gone through some things the same as me, and i can trust him. but sometimes i don't even know because he likes to think only for himself, and not about what i'm talking about? or trying to help me overcome this and make me feel better? who knows, he's so independent and kinda insecure on himself he doesn't know how to help me. he won't give me sympathy which is exactly what i'm looking for. he thinks i don't need it, when i really do . . My dad always exaggerates so much it drives me insane and you can even see it when i'm not around him. everytime i think about the fact that you are gone and that you aren't here with me to talk to, it makes me cry. i really want you to be here with me, and i know that you are but i can't think like that? its hard for me, i wish you were around me and enjoying the physical things i go through. what would you do... [continues]

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