Dailey Edp Exam Study Guide
EXAM 2 STUDY GUIDE: TEXTBOOK LO’S, ARTICLES, & LECTURES
Rather than highlighting and copying, go to file, download as.
(Yeah I downloaded as a PDF and it keeps the same format)
Textbook:
Ch. 6: Please read Modules 6.6 through 6.9. I will take exam questions from the following “Learning Objectives” (these are the LO items in your text): LO18, LO20, LO23, and LO25. k LO18: Discuss research on same-sex sexual behavior
some gay/lesbian adolescents experience sexual intercouse during their teen years before they identify themselves as gay/lesbian. NSSHB (National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior) found that same-sex sexual activity was relatively uncommon in adolescence but increased in older age groups (experimentation) “We know that same-sex sexual behavior is common in adolescence, both for those who will go on to have predominantly heterosexual relationships and those who will have predominantly same-sex relationships.” pg. 197
LO20: Explain how religion can affect an adolescent's sexual behavior
In general, more religious heterosexual youths tend to delay first sexual intercourse, have fewer incidents of premarital sexual activity, and have fewer sexual partners. (This may be because these adolescents are less sexually experienced overall, or tend to develop friendships with people who are more likely to disapprove of early sexual activity). however, once teens begin engaging in sexual behaviors, religious affiliation and frequency of religious attendance have found to have little impact on frequency of sexual behaviors.
LO23: Discuss the incidence of sexually transmitted infections in teens
Rates of chlamydia/gonorrhea higher in 15 → 19 old females 15-24 year olds acquire ~50% of all new STI’s. Gays/lesbians/bisexuals are less likely to use condoms or other barrier methods
LO25: Differentiate between comprehensive and abstinence only sexuality education programs
Comprehensive sexuality programs are those that begin in kindergarten and continue throughl 12th grade. They include a wide variety of topics and help
students to develop skills to make their own decisions and learn factual information. Have four main goals for sexuality education. Abstinence-only programs emphasize abstinence from all sexual behaviors, and typically do not provide information about contraception or disease prevention. Abstinence-only programs argue that premarital sex leads to psychological problems for the couple and baby comprehensive sex education is favored by the majority of parents, teachers and students in the US (page 204)
Ch. 9: Exam questions may be drawn from the following: LO1, LO3, LO10. LO1: Compare the Kinsey and Klein sexual orientation continuums:
Kinsey introduced six-point scale ranging from exclusively heterosexual behavior (0 points) to exclusively homosexual behavior (6 points). Kinsey’s scale was the first scale to suggest that people engage in complex behaviors that cannot be reduced to simply “homosexual” or “heterosexual” The Klein sexual orientation grid includes 7 dimensions: attraction, behavior, fantasy, emotional preference, social preference, self-identification, and lifestyle. Each is measured for the past, present, and the ideal.
LO3: Summarize the findings of one or two studies that produced evidence for a substantial genetic component of sexual orientation.
Dean Hamer and colleagues found that gay males tended to have more gay relatives on their mother’s side, and they traced that to the existence of a gene that they found in 33 of 40 gay brothers, this gene is inherited from the mother’s but not the father’s side. Other studies support the familial link but have found that male sexual orientation is inherited from the father’s and not the mother's side. gay men were found to have more homosexual male relatives than heterosexual men, and sisters of gay men were more likely to be lesbians than sisters of heterosexual men.
LO10: Identify three ways in which children and adolescents are impacted by the presumption of heterosexuality:
all your life, from the time you were a toddler you were presented with a single model of sexual life: you were expected to be attracted to the other sex, to go on dates, and eventually marry. (society) your parents, your friends (playing house, school dances) (family values) television (heterosexual couples on TV), movies, newspapers, magazines, the government
Ch. 7: Exam questions may be drawn from the following: LO4, LO9, LO13, LO22, LO23.
The Roseto Effect (this will be pertinent especially if you choose “Lars and the Real Girl” for your paraphilia film)
love of community, very small close knit sense of feeling cared about - this will help in the health aspect of individuals
LO4: Explain how Schacter and Singer’s experiment using epinephrine with students provided valuable information on relationship between physical arousal and love.
Students given a shot of epinephrine (adrenaline, causes arousal) and some were informed what to expect while others were not Each group was put into a waiting room with a student who was acting happy or a student who was acting angry When they felt aroused, informed students assumed it was the shot/epinephrine Uninformed students believe they were feeling happy or angry CONCLUSION - Emotions happen when there is general physiological arousal for whatever reason and a label is attached to it
LO9: Identify three reasons why we are initially attracted to some people and not others.
Similarity and Proximity o Most likely to meet partner at a party, religious institution or friend’s house o Similar to ourselves - ethnicity, race, social class, religion, social education Physical Attractiveness o Matching hypothesis - people drawn to others with similar levels of attractiveness Financial Stability o In past heterosexual women more likely to rate financial stability higher than heterosexual men o Now it’s pretty even
LO13: Define jealousy and possessiveness and explain the negative impact that these emotions can have on a relationship.
Jealousy - emotional reaction to a relationship that is being threatened (matter of interpretation) o Most jealous when other person has traits we want in ourselves o Correlation between self-esteem and jealousy (lower self-esteem - more jealous) o No experience → more secure o Lack of trust and low self-esteem
Possessiveness - strength of bond used by one partner to manipulate the other o indicates problem of self-esteem and personal boundaries, and can eventually lead to stalking o Abusive relationship exist when one tries to increase own self worth or control other’s behavior by withdrawing or manipulating love
LO22: Identify gender differences in extramarital sexual behavior and other cultures.
20% of women have engaged in extramarital sex while married 15%-30% of men have engaged in extramarital sex while married 90% occur because of unmet emotional needs Women more likely to have emotional and not sexual affair Men more likely to have sexual affair Women experience more emotional distress but rate emotional affairs as more harmful than sexual affairs Men rate sexual affairs as more harmful
LO23: List and describe three legal forms of same-sex relationship in the United States.
Domestic Partnership - live together Civil Unions - recognized marriage Marriage - Legal in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, and DC; normally not recognized outside of these states as of last night we can ADD Maine, Maryland and Washington!! Defense of Marriage Act (1996) - prohibits federal recognition of legal same-sex relationships even if legal in individual states; was overturned
Cohabitation; Marriage: Happy Ever After?- living together
Pros: learn about each other’s habits and idiosyncrasies, share finances and mature in their relationship Cons: no support from family/relatives, society doesn’t recognize this for the purpose of health care or taxes, assume different things out of living together heterosexual couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce ½ of all cohabiting couples break up within the first year
Divorce: Whose Fault or No Fault?
No fault- in almost all states, neither partner needs to be found guilty of a transgression to dissolve the marriage
covenant marriage- restrictive agreed on rules and regulations for ending a marriage
Eye-Rolling, Marriage, and Divorce Extramarital Affairs: “It Just Happened”- sex outside of a committed relationship
first step: get close to someone at work, school, etc- chemistry and attraction second step: keep relationship a secret, adds fuel to passion third step: start doing things together, still think of it as a friendship last: sexual intense emotional affair begins affairs happen because of unmet emotional needs within the relationship
Open Marriages: Sexual Adventuring
Polyamory- having multiple romantic partners. Intimate, commited relationship o men proposed idea o usually husband wants to end relationship & women want to stay in o all people involved know each other o can be any configuration of people
Jealousy (lecture), including the sociobiological/evolutionary psychology perspective
people who place high value on traits such as wealth, fame, popularity, and physical attractiveness tend to be more jealous jealousy can be a major factor in relationship violence women are more likely to admit to being jealous women are more likely to be jealous of the emotional aspects of the other relationship women tend to blame themselves when a conflict based on jealousy occurs; men blame the third party/partner women are more inclined to deliberately invoke jealousy men are more likely to confront a rival with anger & aggression
LO4: Explain how Schachter and Singer’s experiments using epinephrine with students provided valuable information on the relationship between physiological arousal and love:
Schachter and Singer concluded that an emotion happens when there is general physiological arousal for whatever reason, and a label is attached to it--and that
label might be any emotion. The idea may explain why we tend to associate love and sex so closely; sexual excitement is a state of intense physiological arousal. LO9: Identify three reasons why we are initially attracted to some people and not others:
field of eligibles: our culture helps determine who is in our field of eligibles through social rules about acceptable and unacceptable partners. similarity and proximity- people are more likely to find love among the people they know or meet through the people they know, where the people are similar to ourselves physical appearance- “matching hypothesis” claims that people are drawn to others with similar levels of attractiveness financial stability- financial resources
LO13: Define Jealousy and possessiveness, and explain the negative impact that those emotions can have on a relationship.
jealousy: is an emotional reaction to a relationship that is being threatened. o demonstration of lack of trust and low self-esteem, jealous individuals can drive their mates away possessiveness: when one partner tries to increase his or her own sense of self-esteem or control the other’s behavior by withdrawing or manipulating love o indicates a problem of self-esteem and personal boundaries, can eventually lead to stalking
LO22: Identify gender differences in extramarital sexual behavior and attitudes in the united states and other cultures:
less than 5% of all societies are as strict about forbidding extramarital sexual contact as the united states Men: 15 to 35% engaged in extramarital sex (U.S.), more likely to have sexual affairs, rate sexual affairs as more harmful than emotional ones, Women: 20% engaged in extramarital sex (U.S.), more likely to have emotional but not sexual affairs, rate emotional affairs as more harmful than sexual ones
LO23: List and describe the three legal forms of same-sex relationships in the U.S.:
Civil Unions/Domestic Partnerships; typically civil unions and domestic partnerships that are performed in one state are not recognized in other states, even if they have a civil union/domestic partnership law. Same-sex marriage; federal gov. did not support due to Defense of Marriage Act -- later declared unconstitutional; as of 2011 same-sex marriage legal in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York and D.C. Same-sex marriages are typically not recognized outside of these states.
Ch. 8: LO1, LO5. LO1: List 3 of the biggest influences on sexual attitudes and behaviors:
Family Background: students who come from households with married parents and traditional family backgrounds have been found to have more conservative attitudes about sexual behavior. Ethnicity: forms a barrier (“sexualized perimeter”) , helps determine who we let in for sex or who we keep out. Affects our sexual attitudes, ability to communicate about sex and the frequency of these behaviors. Religiosity: the more religious people are, the more likely they are to be conservative about their sexual behaviors
LO5: Identify one to two criticisms of the existing sexual response models, and discuss proposals for future directions in sexual response research:
Leonore Tiefer, suggests that Masters and Johnson’s model focuses exclusively on adequate genital functioning, leaving out emotionality, sensuality, cultural differences, power issues etc. , women complain of desire and arousal issues and other difficulties in emotionality, sensitivity, and connectedness. Rosemary Basson, believes women’s motivations for sex are more complex than men’s motivations; plasticity sexual distractions of everyday life interfere in a woman’s ability to feel sexual arousal. If a woman can overcome these distractions, Basson suggests that continued sexual arousal can lead to a desire for sex and sexual pleasure.
Ch. 14: We cannot emphasize strongly enough that we expect each and every one of you to make a difference in the problem of sexual coercion. Please read this entire chapter. Exam questions may be drawn from any or all of the Learning Objectives. Learning objectives: LO1- Define rape and sexual assault. Explain how certain factors can make defining these terms difficult. Line between rape and other categories of sexual behavior can be blurry because of the distinctions between forced and consensual sex, as well as societal patterns of female passivity or male aggression. Rape- forced sexual behavior without a person’s consent Sexual assault- coercion of a nonconsenting victim to have sexual contact - Societal and cultural rules often dictate that among heterosexuals, men, not women, should initiate sexual activity - These beliefs about how sex is supposed to be can make defining rape a difficult task - Also complicated by the fact that sometimes unwanted sex is consensual (meaning that one or both parties said yes when they wish they had said no or regretted sex afterwards)
- Studies have found that a significant percent of college students engage in unwanted sexual activity in dating relationships LO2- Identify 5-6 common myths about rape and sexual assault, and discuss how these myths affect perceptions of these crimes Rape myths- prejudicial and stereotyped beliefs about rape, rape victims, and rapists - Leads people to justify rape by rationalizing what happened and who might be at fault. They also often shift the blame to the victim. Rape Myths: 1) Only “bad” women get raped 2) Women make false reports of rape 3) Women fantasize about rape 4) Men can’t be raped 5) You can tell a rapist by how he looks 6) People cannot be raped against their will LO3- Describe profile of typical individual who commits rape - Primarily male, single, and between ages of 15 and 30 - Have been found to have high levels of impulsivity and aggression, sexist views of women, high levels of rape myth acceptance - Histories of personal violence (such as child physical or sexual abuse, dating violence, or intimate partner violence) - Normally not different psychologically than a non-rapist male - Often has multiple victims- thus a relatively small number of men are responsible for a large number of attacks
- Variety of rapist types: - Power- motivated by domination and control - Anger- motivated by anger and use it in overt ways - Sadistic- motivated by sexual and aggressive fantasies LO4- Discuss gender, ethnic, and cultural differences in attitudes towards rape Men- less sensitive and empathetic towards rape than women - more likely to believe in rape myths - heterosexual men more likely to expect sex after paying for an expensive meal; no expectations if bill is split - CHANGING ATTITUDES: men who take rape education workshops and take college courses on violence against women have less rape myth acceptance Ethnic differences - ethnic minorites have more traditional attitudes towards women - Non- Hispanic whites have MOST sympathy, then blacks, then Hispanic or JapaneseAmerican - Asian- American students have LEAST sympathy for women that have been raped
and are more likely to hold victim responsible Cultural differences - Rape defined differently around the world- incidence of rape varies depending on a culture’s definition of rape -- Rape accepted as punishment - Cheyenne Indians- punished wife for cheating with gang rape - Marshall Islands of Pacific Ocean- Women are property, can have sexual activity forced on them at any time - Kenya- Gusii people. View intercourse as a way that men can overpower women and cause pain. Boast about making women cry and think it makes them more of a man - Pakistan in 2002- Used rape as a form of punishment when an 11 year old male was caught walking with a girl without a chaperone. They sentenced his 18 year old sister to gang rape in front of the town to bring shame to the family. -- Rape used as initiation purposes - East Africa, Kikuyu have an initiation ritual where a young boy is expected to rape to prove his manhood. Couldn’t have sex or get married until this rape occurred. - Australia- Arunta people have a ritual where girls are raped before their wedding then given to their husbands to show that no one else has access to the girl. Many cultural beliefs and societal issues are responsible for high rape rates in South Africa. - South African women find it hard to say no because men believe they’re entitled to sex and think women enjoy being raped. - 2005- Anti-rape condom - Controversial because it put the problem on the women’s shoulders Asian Cultures - More conservative attitudes about sex - Often more tolerance for rape myths Primary cultural factors that affect incidence of rape: 1) relations between the sexes 2) the status of women 3) male attitudes in society LO5- Identify 2 ways in which alcohol is a strong predictor of rape on college campuses. - Women who are drunk are viewed as “loose” or sexually “easy” - For men, alcohol seems to “sexualize” their environment LO6- Discuss ways fraternities might create a ripe environment for rape - revolve around an ethic of masculinity - values members see are important: competition, dominance, willingness to drink alcohol, and sexual prowess - considerable pressure to be sexually successful; acceptance gained through sex - emphasis on masculinity, secrecy, and protection of the group
- more likely to believe rape-myths LO7- Discuss reasons for higher rates of rape-supportive attitudes and sexuallyaggressive behavior among college and pro athletes - participation in athletics associated with rape-supportive attitudes and sexually aggressive behaviors - athletes who play on revenue-producing teams are more likely to have sexuallyaggressive behaviors than non revenue producing teams - players seem to have a sense of privilege. Playing sports help connect sexuality and aggression. - All male groups= “hyper-masculinity” – promotes the idea that violence and aggression are “manly” - male athletes have distorted view of women: revolves around views expressed in locker room. Locker room talk- derogatory language (“sluts” & “bitches”), athletes not playing well may be called a “girl” LO8- Discuss range of psychological and emotional reactions to rape experienced by victims and victims’ partners - Most women knew the rapist - women who feel guilty or responsible have lower levels of psychological well-being than women who don’t feel responsible - Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS)- 2 stage response pattern - physical, psychological, behavioral, or sexual problems or combination after forced sexual activity. First stage: -fear being alone, fear of strangers, or of location of the rape - other emotional reactions - may experience wide mood fluctuations - difficulties sleeping, w/ nightmares This stage occurs immediately after assault and may last days to weeks. Second stage: Called Long-Term Reorganization - restoring order to life and getting control - changing aspects of life such as address, phone numbers, university, etc. have helped gain control Silent Rape Reaction: - never discuss the rape with anyone - similar to RTS, feelings still appear, just remain inside - longer the victim takes to tell, longer the recovery time - victims will deny it happened until they feel emotionally strong enough to talk about it Partners’ Reaction: - feelings of anger, frustration, intense feelings of revenge - strong desire to “kill him” or “make him pay” - feel sense of loss, guilt, self-blame, jealousy - may lose trust in partner if rapist is an acquaintance - date rape experience- negative judgments and reactions - stressful to relationship- but it is important to talk about it
LO10- Explain legal exemptions for marital rape and common symptoms in victims Legal- Since 1993: marital rape illegal in all 50 states. 30 states have exemptions for husbands if wife is unconscious, asleep, or mentally impaired. Common symptoms in victims- feeling extremely betrayed - loss of ability to trust others (especially men) - little social support - those who stay with their husbands often endure multiple attacks Marital rape= one of the least discussed types of rape. LO11- Discuss differences in emotional reactions to rape in heterosexual and lesbian women - slightly higher rape rates by heterosexual men to lesbian and bisexual women - lesbian and bisexual women also experience RTS but may have more intense emotional repercussions than heterosexual women because the lesbians experience difficulty assimilating the experience of rape into their self image and some have never experienced intercourse with a man so they’re not accustomed to the feelings and fears that go with that LO12- Describe some of the factors that contribute to higher frequency of women with disabilities More vulnerable because - they have less ability to fight back - more difficulty reading warning signs - may not be able to realize their rights have been violated- therefore don’t report the attack LO13- Describe 2 reasons for high frequency of rape experienced by prostitutes - Sexual assaults by pimps are common - People tend to not believe she was raped - people tend to think she’s mad because she didn’t get paid LO14- Explain how prisons have worked to reduce prevalence of rape in prison. - Prison Rape Elimination Act (2003) - federal law that reduces tolerance for prison sexual assault - helped reduce prison rape rates and support those who got raped in prison LO15- Discuss how men can be raped and common long term effects Rape of men by women - belief that men cannot be raped by women seems to make male rape more humiliating and painful - Female rapists- forced sex, verbal coercion - use of psychological or pressured contact rather than physical force - Men who are raped often don’t define themselves as victims- therefore don’t report the
crime Rape of men by men - gay men raped at higher rate than heterosexual men - forced anal (most common sexual activities) and oral sex, and masturbation to ejaculation. - expression of power, show of strength, and masculinity - emotional responses: shame, embarrassment, self-blame, hostility, depression, RTS. Rape may make them question orientation or feel less “manly”. Fear others will think they’re gay. LO16- Pros and cons of different coping strategies - victim expected to fight back. Without bruises, society doesn’t give as much sympathy. Some victims may freeze in fear or disbelief - First & best strategy- ESCAPE! - verbal strategies: screaming, dissuasive techniques (I’m on my period, I have herpes), empathy, negotiation, and stalling for time ---- but these attempts may do more harm than good depending on the rapist - another strategy- attempt to talk to attacker and make yourself a real person - Self- defense classes LO17- Gender differences in reporting of rape and explore reasons why a victim should consider reporting rape and pressing charges. WOMEN- less likely to report a rape if they know the attacker MEN- less likely to report if it jeopardizes their masculine self-identity REASONS WHY VICTIMS SHOULD REPORT: - women who report their rapes have better adjustment and fewer emotional symptoms - alerts police to crime and may prevent more crimes by the rapist - taking legal action helps the victim feel in control LO18- Define child sexual abuse and identify the factor that characterizes a typical child sexual abuser Child sexual abuse- sexual contact of a minor by an adult Main factor= Dominant, powerful position of the adult or older teen that allows them to force a child into sexual activity. LO19- Define incest and discuss incest taboo Incest- sexual contact between persons who are related or have a care giving relationship Incest taboo- absolute prohibition of sex between family members (universal) - extremely traumatic because the children look to their parents/caregivers for support or nurture - has been recognized in every culture LO20- Psychological and emotional effects of child sexual abuse - feelings of betrayal, powerlessness, fear, anger, self-blame, low self-esteem, guilt, PTSD, depression, shame, anxiety, nervousness, problems in intimacy and
relationships later in life, anti-social behavior, drug and alcohol abuse, prostitution, eating disorders - Most traumatic- incest over long periods of time, offender is trusted, penetration occurs, and there’s aggression - children who hide sexual abuse feel shame, guilt, fear loss of affection from family and friends, feel frustrated because they can’t stop the abuse LO21- List 3 or 4 long-term effects of child sexual abuse 1) traumatic sexualization- a common result of sexual abuse in which a child displays compulsive sex play or masturbation and shows an inappropriate amount of knowledge about sex 2) promiscuous and compulsive sexual behavior- may lead to sexually abusing others in adulthood 3) connection between eating disorders and past sexual abuse. Men and women affected by child sexual abuse have said they were able to make significant changes in their eating patterns. 4) problems with drug and alcohol addictions- Children believe they are “bad” because of the abuse so they do things that society believes is “bad” LO22- List and describe 2 approaches to treating victims of child sexual abuse - combination of cognitive and behavioral psychotherapies- teach victims how to understand and handle the trauma - being involved in a relationship that is high in emotional intimacy and low in expectations of sex is important for sexual abuse victims LO23- Discuss approaches to preventing child sexual abuse - Increasing availability of sex education, education about sexual abuse might help children understand it is wrong. Also tell kids where to go and who to talk to. - Adequate funding and staffing of child welfare agencies. Train social workers properly and also train physicians and educators LO24- Discuss intimate partner violence (IPV) and identify racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic issues IPV- coercive behavior that uses threats, harassment, or intimidation, Can involve physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Pattern of abuse rather than a single incident **Found in all racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups - many men and women killed by their partners (IPH- intimate partner homicide) - common in adolescent and college ages, but can happen at any age - related to stress - higher frequency in women with disabilities - same-sex relationships- similar frequency but different issues arise because of less support LO25- Range of physical and emotional reactions to IPV - psychological and physical symptoms depend on frequency and severity of attacks - common psychological symptoms: depression, anti-social behaviors, increased
anxiety, low self-esteem, and fear of intimacy - common physical symptoms: headaches, back pain, gynecological disorders, and stomach problems LO26- List 2 approaches to preventing IPV and helping victims avoid future abuse. 1) ESCAPE- leave the situation 2) Then seek support. We need proper support in shelters for abused. Studies on Rapists:
Power Rape - Motivated by domination and control. Wants to degrade their victims. Anger Rape - Motivated by anger. Not premeditated, usually happens to strangers. Sadistic Rape - Sexual and aggressive fantasies. Kind of rape that is most likely to lead to murder Opportunistic Rape - Primary motivation is sex, rapist may have very distorted attitudes and beliefs about sex roles and female behaviour, which tend to negate normal social inhibitions. This may account for majority of Date Rapes.
Readings:
“LGBTQ,” etc. – Why is (H) in parentheses?
(H) is in parentheses because heterosexual isn’t usually included when people talk about sexuality Heterosexuality is presumed and this presumption renders all other forms of sexuality as “other”
Labeling & stigmatizing: naming who we are and what we do
o o
Labeling - process of naming behaviors, people and phenomena Stigmatizing - overemphasize an attribute at the expense of seeing the whole person; sociologist Edwin Lemert
“Focus on Homophobia” section. o Homophobia- fear of being, appearing or seeming gay; fear of anyone or “anything” gay; is a weapon of sexism
o
o
becoming a “fag” has much to do with failing at masculine tasks of competence, heterosexual, power, and strength or in anyway revealing weakness or femininity, as it does with sexual identity homosexuality is considered a white or Western thing
“All of the Reasons People Have Sex:” Visceral, Relational, Substitute; What Dr. Liebowitz said.
Visceral - lust; driven by physical urges Relational - motivated by emotions from an intimate relationship Substitute - physical pleasures and the illusion of closeness to compensate for unmet emotional needs Liebowitz - people seek out sex because they suffer from inadequate levels of PEA, which is associated with the “high” of falling in love
“Limited Resources:” covariance of intimacy & passion; How to keep passion alive in the long term.
For positive relationships - High passion comes with high intimacy. For negative relationships - High intimacy when passion is low. Or it can be that the two are not related at all, both can go up or down without affecting each other. Rising intimacy sets off passion. Shared experiences increase intimacy equalling more passionate relationships. Interruption in couple’s intimacy may create an opportunity for a rise in passion when interruption is over. as time increases, passion decreases (stated in lecture)
Lectures: Exam 2
Developmental Psychology - October 8th We have various developmental tasks throughout life. Early relationships have a huge impact on our psychological and emotional make-up; temperament is also a factor. Object Relations a post-Freudian school of thought that emphasizes our internal world of people. The growth of one in relation to the environment.
External world has a big impact too:
Family constellation Social learning, etc. What's happening in the larger world
Many cultures are extremely anxious about childhood and adolescent sexuality. 0-6 Months: "Normal Symbiosis" Mother & Infant are one unit: "the dyad" - infant does not know s/he is separate. Freud: "Primary Narcissism"
You get to be the center of the universe for a while.
"Good-enough parenting:"
You can't be a perfect parent Some frustration is normal for baby
*Key*: Caregivers who do their best to figure out what a baby needs and provide it on a consistent basis. -This is the cornerstone for good attachment, empathy, a conscience, and the capacity to manage emotions. Also, for the capacity to love. Freud: "The ego is first and foremost a bodily ego."
Our need for TOUCH (Harlow: infant monkeys and a fake mother either wrapped in cloth without bottle of milk or wire mother with bottle of milk-showed that the baby monkeys clung to the warmth and softness of the cloth wrapped mother and only ventured away to get milk when needed it the most as compared to being with the bare wired mother with the milk right there.) Pleasure in the whole body, the skin, sucking, touching, etc. Sexual reflexes: boys born with erections, baby girls with vaginal lubrication and genital swelling.(very normal) Kinsey noted orgasm-like behaviors in infants (girls, around 4 months; boys, around 5 months but no ejaculation). 6-12-month-old infants often display acts of autoeroticism (self-pleasuring). Many babies and toddlers masturbate; this should not be translated as meaning the same as sexuality later on in life. These are merely experiences of physical pleasure and tension reduction.
Your job: to teach them about enjoying their bodies safely and respectfully. Superego Your "conscience," or "Inner Parent"
Begins with identification with parents
Ego Mediator between Id and Superego, between Id and reality. Id Our primitive urges, needs, desires, impulses, fantasies, etc.
The dream world Things don't make sense here *need to be able to dip down into your ID & return back to your ego. Need to be able to laugh, appreciate, and be artistic.
6-36 Months: Separation-Individuation
Individuation o difficult for you difficult for your parents o “potential space” own lives & identities if dyad is trusting potential space can exist if connection is safe enough you have so much potential anything can happen Separation (Autonomy) o separate self o you and someone else
6-10 mos: Differentiation Explore "Other's" body 10-15 mos: Practicing Walk away and come back 15-36 mos: Rapprochement "We're not the same and that's okay" Determine we’re similar and individual from our parents Libidinal Object Constancy: ("Libido" here refers to an emotional investment)
the ability of the child to maintain an emotional image of the mother as being basically good but as having both good and bad qualities, an emotional image that changes little under frustration or during a mother's absences.
Despite our separateness, our moods, etc., we are still the same person. Mom is still Mom. She loves me even if she is mad at me. Bridging the gap between Narcissism and the capacity to love others.
Empathy Mirroring Consistency "Good-Enough" Parenting
A "good enough" parent knows how to put a child's needs first and still set limits, be in charge, etc. Authoritative, not authoritarian parenting. Your empathy and attunement will help you know what your child needs: physically, emotionally, verbally. Can you get your own childhood scars out of the way?
Early Childhood (3-8 years)
Many children masturbate. How to deal with this? 60% of boys, 45% of girls age 2-5 have been observed by parent at least occasionally touching their genitals (USA) Most children display sexual curiosity. Autonomy:(independence, self-reliance and privacy) privacy is a growing concern. Lots of body awareness, including awareness of death. What is "latency?" Kids of other gender are often considered "yuck."= “cooties” latency - Development of ability to feel Pleasure, guilt, shame, anxiety Recommended: use the real names for anatomy Teaching little ones about their bodies, from hygiene to respecting selves and others.
Preadolescence (9-13 years) - gain a solid sense of self
Erikson: "Industry vs. Inferiority"
o mastering social tasks, comparing self & peer Piaget: "Concrete-Operational" o more logical, more real-world thinking, less egocentric. Most kids have best friends, usually of their own gender. Sexual "research" is common among kids this age. Increasing body consciousness. Puberty may blossom at any time ages 7-14 Increasing need to fit in, be like others; and at the same time to be special. Kinsey (1948, 1953): 45% of males, 15% of females masturbated by age 13. Interest in the gender to whom one is sexually oriented really starts to take hold. Lots of anxiety about "Normal."
LGBTQ kids can be dealing with extra burdens:
Isolation Differentness Homophobia from others and in self Depression, fear, etc. Lack of a social group, role models, acceptance
Thus it can be especially difficult to put together a sexual identity and "try on" relationships like most people do in junior high & high school. By age 9, who can accurately describe sexual intercourse?
100% of Swedish kids 48% of kids in England 40% of Canadian kids 17% of kids in USA
By age 11?
95% of Australian kids 80% of kids in England 50% of kids in USA
1999: 22% of US high school kids had intercourse before age 13
Adolescence From puberty to adulthood
Puberty: appearance of secondary sex characteristics, menarche, changes in the primary sex characteristics, first ejaculation (age 12 or 13 about average).
Females: pituitary triggers release of FSH, causing ovaries to secrete estrogen. Breasts arrive, uterus grows, body fat swells where it's supposed to. Labia develop. Androgens in females trigger growth of pubic & underarm hair; also growth of clitoris. Males: pituitary triggers production of FSH and LH, stimulating testes to increase testosterone production. Testes, scrotum, penis grow; voice deepens; facial hair; shoulders, etc. Erections arrive with great frequency and often uninvited. Earliest sperm aren't usually mature for about a year, but don't take that for granted. Nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) are normal Adolescent Psychology
Erikson: "Identity vs. Role Confusion" o A second episode of Individuation. Piaget: "Formal-Operational" o Abstract thinking; challenging authority.
Adolescent Sexual Activity
USA, 1993: 88% of males, 62% of females reported having masturbated at least once. Almost one-third have had intercourse by age 15. About 50% by 10th grade.(age 16) Almost 95% have had intercourse by age 19.
Peer perceptions are a grave concern. Substance use. Need to feel loved, accepted. Still a fair amount of guilt, conflict, anxiety. 25% of sexually active teens now have an STD. 1999: AIDS the #7 cause of death in USA for ages 15-24. Inconsistent condom use Adolescent invincibility No information
Pleasure is NOW (no thinking through) Adolescent Pregnancy, USA 800,000 per year under 19 years of age; over 80% unintended 50% end in abortion 1997: over 5% of 15-19-year-old females in US have given birth. Impact on education; poor marriages; economics. Sex Education in USA:
Not correlated with increased sex activity. Correlated with higher condom use. Not in itself enough to modify teen sex activity. Peer advisors add a positive influence. Most effective curricula include parents.
The Imago (From Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want)
List both the positive and negative characteristics of your primary childhood caregivers as you recall them from childhood. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. I am trying to find/get a person who is... To always be... So that I can get... And feel... I stop myself from getting this sometimes by...
Imago: Your unconscious image of the opposite sex (potential love mate). When to worry? Who are your child's caregivers? #1: To be a parent who notices, listens, pays attention. You need to believe your child and also not become hysterical. Contact Child Protective Services, your local Child Guidance Center, or your local Rape Crisis Shelter.
Physical symptoms
Fears showing up, any time of day or night Inappropriate sexual knowledge Inappropriate sexual behaviors Compulsive masturbation Regression to bed-wetting, night terrors, thumb-sucking - all these indicate serious anxiety Major changes in your child
When in doubt, get a consultation. Beyond clear physical injury, there is no one perfect indicator of abuse/molestation. Dr. Beatriz- Univ. of Pittsburgh, compared teens with adults, teens tend to make less use of brain regions that:
monitor performance spot errors plan stay focused
teens place more value on pleasure, love, the new, exciting and risky than cost Sexual Orientations - October 10th Everybody in this room is queer. Questions for group members: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. What was it like growing up queer in your home town? Your family? Your church? Are you out to anyone? Why or why not? Have you ever been in love? What was it like? Are you in a long-term relationship? Do you think you'll have kids one day? What would you like to see change regarding GLBTQ life in America?
Sexual Orientation Sexual attraction to one's own sex (gay/lesbian) or the other sex (straight). Perhaps 1-4% of persons surveyed consider themselves asexual.
Gay/Lesbian: Primary attraction (erotic, psychological, emotional, and social) is toward members of the same sex. National Health & Social Life Survey (1994) 1.4% of women, 2.8% of men identified themselves as "homosexual" 4% of women and 5% of men reported having had a same-sex sexual experience since age
18 5.5% of women and 6% of men said they had been attracted to members of same sex
Kinsey's Continuum 0---------1----------2-----------3----------4----------5---------6 0 = Exclusively Heterosexual 1=Predominately Heterosexual, only incidentally Homosexual 3=Equally Heterosexual and Homosexual 6=Exclusively Homosexual Kinsey: 13% of men, 7% of women are either mainly or exclusively involved with members of their own gender (1940's, USA).
Kinsey thought it was very rare to be exclusively straight or exclusively gay -30% men surveyed had said to have had a gay encounter ( BUT military, research snow balling = skewed outcomes)
Bisexuality Attraction to both same-sex and other-sex partners. Is this
a "real" orientation? Sexual behaviors not only component of sexuality a transitional orientation (experiment; school; prison; commercial) homosexual denial?
LBGTQ etc. Labels: to facilitate understanding and communication
to stigmatize, pathologize to narrow our vision: the label is all we see
"heterosexual" = normal?? essentialism vs. social constructionism: Erotic plasticity (women may easily adapt to changes, and are more shaped by socio cultural and situational factors) Pascoe: "fag talk and fag imitations serve as a discourse with which boys discipline themselves and each other" "fag" = to fail at male competence "Hegemonic masculinity requires that anything remotely feminine be renounced." (hegemony: leadership or dominance by one social group over another) Except, of course, you must like women.
Homophobia requires that men "root out any femininity in each other" and prove their manhood with the endless quest for pussy. Phobia: an irrational fear around which you may arrange your ever-shrinking life. How has homophobia affected you and your relationships? Consider: the male culture and its fascination with lesbian sexuality. What's up with this?
Feeling threatened by lesbians Taking control of the image
Consider: your male lover seems "too nellie" to you. Why does this bother you?
Internalized Oppression Occurs when members of any oppressed or disenfranchised group "internalizes" or deeply believes what the dominant culture believes about them.
May be conscious or unconscious. RESULTS: You hold the popular stereotypes about your group, and have negative feelings about people who belong to that group. You can be biased against people who are like you. You may not want to be with people who belong to your group. You may not trust people who belong to your group. You can be prejudiced against people who are like you. Homophobia: Irrational fears of GLBT; fear of GLBT in oneself; or self loathing toward one's own orientation. Consider: as a gay male, you think your partner will naturally understand if you cheat on him. (And us lesbians naturally assume our partners will be faithful!) Consider: as LGBTQ's, we assume our partners will be good lovers because they of all people should know how to do it! Consider: your girlfriend wants to use a strap-on with you. How do you react? Consider: people who want to "cure" you. As LGBTQ people, who are your role models when you are putting together your identity:
As an individual As a member of society
In a relationship As a parent As a part of the political system In business As a consumer of health care
Coming Out: becoming aware of and disclosing one's homosexuality
Self-acknowledgement Self-acceptance Disclosure support network? whom to tell 1st practice it in your mind plan in advance be patient control your anger
GLBTQ ????? Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and queering.
Why the ever-longer acronym? Both the terms "homosexual" and "heterosexual" originally referred to sexuality that was out of control. Members of a culture possess the right to name their culture and define it. "Queer" is also an accepted term in much of the GLBTQ community. It came into ascendancy in the political activism of the 1970's - 1990's. - Stone wall riots We're here, we're queer, get used to it.= proud Sexual orientation refers to a whole lot more than what we do in the bedroom.
Fantasies Feelings Behavior Sexual Identity
We need to consider the functions of sexual contact.
Reproduction (estrus in many species)
Competition Maturity, rite of passage Bonding for various reasons
In some species, when a dominant male has taken charge of all the available females, nondominant males must adopt a "feminine" position or starve. In many tribes, semen is a necessary fluid for developing one's manhood. Were you born with your sexual orientation, or did you make a choice? How did you first know your sexual orientation? When did you decide, and why? Some data to confront in your discussions as GLBT kids growing up in America. The data were compiled from a series of studies.
97% of you regularly heard homophobic remarks from your peers. 53% of you heard homophobic remarks from school staff. 80% of you have experienced verbal abuse related to your sexual orientation; 44% of you were threatened with attack; 33% of you had objects thrown at you; 30% of you have been chased or followed.
As a GLBT teenager:
You were 2-6 times more likely to attempt suicide than your straight peers. You may account for 30% of all completed suicides among teens. 46% of GLBT students reported attempting suicide in the past year, compared to 8.8% of your straight peers. 24% of GLBT youth reported becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant during adolescence.
GLBT in History "Homosexuality:" A 19th-century term, a phenomenon known for all of human history.
Both the term "homosexuality" and "heterosexuality" referred originally to sexuality that was out of control (not in a favorable way). Native American Berdaches had room to adopt "feminine" roles and feminine dress if they so chose.
Babylon: for a male to penetrate a male of equal or higher social status was very good fortune. To seduce a slave would be courting bad luck. To be penetrated - unless you were a temple servant - was to be inferior. Ancient Celts were also practitioners of male-to-male sexual relations. Although the Greeks admired the Celtic warriors' physical strength, some of them viewed Celtic men's couplings as too passive (weak, "feminine"). During certain times in ancient China, same-sex acts were "sometimes fashionable" (Tannahill), because intimacy between two yang elements, though not ideal, was certainly not harmful. Lesbianism "was accepted, with a shrug" as "a natural result of herding a number of wives and concubines together in the women's quarters." India: A mixed picture. Hindu Supreme Being possesses both male and female elements, gods & goddesses & humans engaged in many sex acts for many reasons. Semen has mystical power. But some texts frown upon male-to-male sex acts as a squandering of semen. The Bible takes a very dim view of same-sex sexual acts. In the early Christian culture, passionate attachments between clergymen were not unusual nor thought much about. Around the 9th century, more fuss was made about "sodomy" (non-procreative sex). Early Islam: no shortage of male-to-male sexuality, although sex rules were very conservative. Considered women seductive & dangerous; kept males and females segregated - a situation in which male-to-male sexuality traditionally flourishes. Lesbian = Witch Is it possible the current fascination with female-female sex is simply one more effort by males to maintain control over female sexuality? Even in many of the cultures that embraced male-male sexuality, effeminate males were scorned. Themes:
gender
power (warrior? or landowner) active vs. passive rise of Christianity
Middle Ages: Constitutio Criminalis is the 1st general criminal code established by the Holy Roman Empire. Article 116 says the unchaste are to be burned at the stake (includes man with beast, man with man, and woman with woman). By the late 1600's this was a little easier, as you would be beheaded before the burning at the stake part. 1861: England drops the death penalty for male same-sex sexual acts, replacing it with life imprisonment. 1863: German lawyer Karl Heinrich Ulrichs became 1st person in modern history to publicly declare himself homosexual. (I don't know the exact term he used then.) Mid-1900's, USA: GLB goes from sin to sickness. Mid-1960's: No systematic differences in psychological adjustment between gays and straights. Now: Ok, we don't call it a mental illness any more. 17 June, 1969: Stonewall starts a movement. Around the World (?) Many cultures accept forms of same-sex sexuality. Perhaps half of preliterate societies studied in the 1950's in one survey were accepting of gay males among some members. Fewer of these cultures accepted lesbianism. There are a variety of forms:
Pathism: a form in which the passive partner undergoes a role change and becomes de-masculinized socially and sexually. Youthful experimentation is often accepted in various cultures. Some cultures allow same-sex marriage. Some cultures have same-sex sexual acts as part of religious rites or other rites of passage.
Same-Gender Couples Do you believe gay, lesbian, bisexual relationships are less satisfying and/or less loving than straight relationships?
The data don't support this. But... We bring our gender with us. Machismo? Some Latin-American cultures, for example, still see male-to-male sex as ok as long as you are the penetrater, not the penetrated. Gay men, like many men in our culture, are more likely to separate sex and love than women are. They value love, but they also value sex as an end in itself. Therefore, gay men may negotiate "fidelity" differently. They may not prohibit sexual encounters outside the relationship, but keeping the commitment (whatever form it takes) seems to matter very much. Sex outside the relationship may not mean that love or sex is missing from the relationship (Demian, 1994). Arabic cultures: males may be affectionate (holding hands in public), but male-male sex is still taboo. Asian cultures: In China, "homosexuality" just came off the mental illness list in 2001. During communism, same-sex sexuality was regarded as a "Western social disease." India: same-sex sexuality is still a crime in many places, but some people are beginning to protest. Buddhist countries are more accepting. In Thailand, important public figures have lived openly gay lives even recently. Sambia (New Guinea): a boy becomes manly by drinking sperm. Two-Spirit, the "third gender:" anatomical male who identifies himself as a woman may be seen to possess special spiritual powers. Same-sex marriage is recognized in 15-20 cultures throughout the world. Lesbians may have less frequent sex than hetero or gay male couples, but they tend to express more satisfaction with their sex lives and report more intimacy than their counterparts (Schureurs, 1993). For GLSBT people, love seems to play the same role it does for the rest of the world, in terms of its value in a committed relationship. Love may also have the added component of signifying a commitment to one's sexual orientation: Whom I love is a statement to the world about who I am.
Coming Out: One Model
1. Identity Confusion (with marked distress) o What did you think it meant to be gay? o Now what do you think? o Will you be this, or deny it? 2. Identity Comparison: who are your role models? 3. Identity Tolerance: Um, well, ok. o Many people remain in a "double life." 4. Identity Acceptance: Less confused, more comfortable. More social support. You develop a new family, if you have to. 5. Identity Pride: May be accompanied by resentment of the straight world's attitudes and behaviors. 6. Identity Synthesis: Sexual orientation is only a part of who I am. I'm finally fine with my sexual orientation and I'm mostly patient with the people who still can't tolerate it.
How is sexual orientation determined and what does it mean to even ask that question? Bell et al. (1981) surveyed 979 gay & lesbian men and women, and 477 straight folks.
doesn't seem to be "default" (i.e. because of unsatisfactory hetero experiences) it's not because they've been "seduced" by a gay/lesbian person Freud's theories (absent or harsh father, overly close to mother for gay males) were supported and not - some gays fit this history, but so did straight people doesn't seem to be because our best friends have been of our same sex
Biological Theories
hormones? prenatal hormone levels can have impact:masculinization/feminization in lab animals the brain? LeVay (1991) found smaller anterior hypothalamus in cadavers of gay men (but this was a small sample of gay men who had died of AIDS) genetics? identical twin studies suggest genetic component (52% of identical twins, 22% of fraternal twins, 11% of adoptive brothers, in one study of gay males)
Youth at Risk 97% of students in public high schools report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from peers.*
53% of students report hearing homophobic remarks from school staff.* In a 14-city study of G:B youth, 80% reported verbal abuse, 44% reported threats of attack, 33% report having had objects thrown at them, and 30% report having been chased or followed.
Lesbian and gay youth are 2-6 times more likely to attempt suicide than other youth, and may account for 30% of all completed suicides among teens.+ 46% of students identified as GLB had attempted suicide in the past year, compared to 8.8% of their peers.^ 24% of GLB youth report getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.^
Sources *Report of the Massachusetts Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, 1993 #D'Augelli & Hershberger, "Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Youth in Community Settings," American Journal of Community Psychology, 21:421, 1993. +Report of the Secretary's Task Force on Youth Suicide, US Dept. of Health and Human Services, 1989. ^Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey, Massachusetts Dept. of Education, 1997. Myths about GLBT folks
1. 2. 3. 4. They are easy to identify. All lesbians are either butch or femme. Women become lesbians because of negative sexual experiences with men. Openly gay teachers, professors, professionals, and other role models are dangerous because they will try to recruit people. 5. GLBT people want to lower the age of consent for sexual activity so they can have access to young children and try to convert them. 6. Gay men tend to be pedophiles and molest children. 7. GLBT folks can't & don't have long-term relationships
Films to see:
"Trembling Before G-d" "Desert Hearts" "The Celluloid Closet" "The Children's Hour" "Longtime Companion" "Gods and Monsters" "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" "Boys Don't Cry"
Sexual Identity 10.16 Quickly, without thinking, list 10 words about Women. And then 10 words about Men. Now list 10 words that come to mind about Sexy. What are the qualities you would like in a short-term lover?
How about someone for the long term? What would you say is your best quality as a lover? About porn. Good? Bad? What do you think? When it comes to sex, what are some things people should feel guilty about? What's your opinion of chastity? Under what circumstances would you practice it? When is honesty not the best policy? Choose 5 factors you Want in your sexual relationship, rank order 1-5 (1=most important). Choose 5 factors you Don't Want and rank-order them. 1. Age 2. Attraction 3. Commitment 4. Companionship 5. Consideration 6. Contraception 7. Dependence 8. Equality 9. Expectations 10. Feeling at ease 11. Honesty 12. Interdependence 13. Jealousy 14. Love 15. Openness 16. Possessiveness 17. Same race 18. Reciprocity 19. Religion 20. Respect 21. Security 22. Trust 23. Experimentation 24. Pressure 25. Dominance 26. Communication 27. Variety 28. Frequency 29. Appearance 30. Humor 31. Intelligence 32. Experience 33. Virginity
Dating
How & where do you meet people?
The decision to become sexual The decision to be celibate How much history do you share?
Textbook author: over 88% of students she asked had engaged in a hookup.
98% said they'd had a "really good" hookup. 78% said they'd also had a "bad" hookup.
How would you feel about dating:
Someone of the same gender Someone of a different race Someone of a different religion Someone much younger than yourself? Much older? Housemates Someone who is in another relationship Someone with kids
Look on BBC America for "Love Me, Love My Doll" Or consider objectophilia, defined as "falling in love with objects rather than people." Later this semester we'll talk about the paraphilias, a word that comes from the Greek.
Sexual Identity: What is it?
In general when we use the word sex, we are referring to the physical. Gender refers to the sociocultural phenomena often associated with members of a given sex. We are all familiar with gender roles and expectations: What does it mean to be feminine? What does it mean to be masculine? We have been talking about numerous aspects of your sexual identity, from where you first learned about sex, to your sexual values, to your anatomy. We have argued that you are constantly shaping and defining your sexual identity, consciously or not. Sexual Identity:
The degree to which we identify with the social and biological aspects of being a man or a woman. To whom are you romantically and sexually attracted? How do you characterize yourself as a sexual being? Sexual orientation is a big component.
Heterosexual and homosexual, in their original usage, both meant a sexuality that was out of control. Kinsey wasn't the first to believe that sexual orientation exists on a continuum. Freud believed humans possess polymorphous perversity - that before we are socialized, we are able to obtain pleasure from all parts of the body.
Consider Clelia Mosher's question, "What do you believe to be the true purpose of intercourse?" (Mosher lived from 1863-1940 and was the first researcher to ask Americans about their sexual behavior.) From Jack Morin, The Erotic Mind Eroticism is the process through which sex becomes meaningful...the interplay of sexual arousal with the challenges of living and loving. It is most helpful if you can tolerate and even embrace the paradoxes of sexuality. Peak Erotic Experiences: "Unforgettable turn-ons are windows into your erotic mind." Morin asks you to write about the following: 1. Think back over all your sexual encounters with other people. Allow your mind to focus on two specific encounters that were among the most arousing of your entire life. Describe each of them in as much detail as you wish. 2. What are your ideas about what made each of these encounters so exciting? He also recommends keeping a journal of eroticism, and exploring your favorite fantasies.
SES & SIS & Your Erotic Imagination
Look up the work of Bancroft & Janssen. Sexual arousal requires a balance of excitatory and inhibitory responses. Personality ("hard-wiring"); psychology; past experience; attitudes & beliefs - all these contribute to vast individual differences. While much attention has been paid to excitatory systems (SES), much less has been paid to inhibitory systems (SIS). Physiological and otherwise. SES includes arousal stemming from social interactions, visual stimuli, fantasies, and nonsexual situations. When an attractive person flirts with me, I easily become sexually aroused. When I see others engaged in sexual activity, I feel like having sex. SIS1 focuses on inhibition due to performance failure. I am afraid I might lose my erection. I doubt I'm going to be able to come. SIS2 on inhibition due to potential consequences of sex. We could get caught. I could catch some STD. Janssen and friends identify four adaptive purposes for inhibition of sexual response: 1. When the sexual situation contains a threat. 2. When there is a nonsexual threat that demands focused attention. 3. When repeated sexual activity & ejaculation in a short period of time results in impaired fertility and/or distraction from other tasks. 4. When chronic stress results in suppression of reproductive behavior. Researchers such as Carpenter (2008) suggest that the SIS/SES scale needs to be finetuned for women to include emotional disconnectedness. e.g. "If, while having sex, I feel that my partner is not paying attention to me, I have difficulty
staying aroused." and "When I feel angry with my partner, I am not likely to become sexually aroused."
Morin: Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement
The 4 Corners of Eroticism The pleasures of love are always in proportion to the fear, Stendahl. 1. Longing and Anticipation o longing and fantasy o short-term longing (flirting works because there is an awareness of distance) o teasing and anticipation o longing and fulfillment 2. Violating Prohibitions o "the thrill of naughtiness is ageless and timeless" o the risk of discovery o forbidden fruit o pushing the boundaries in fantasy 3. Searching for Power o making the most of powerlessness o paradoxes of power: o a forceful partner demonstrates with his or her passion the value and desirability of the one who submits...a submissive partner demonstrates through his or her surrender the irresistible erotic powers of the aggressor. Both top and bottom feel strong and affirmed. Ultimately, control resides with neither alone, because the energy is generated by their interaction," (p. 97). o power and responsibility o symbols of power o establishing safety 4. Overcoming Ambivalence o from ambivalence to passion (initial reluctance) o ambivalent attractions o overcoming ambivalence through fantasy o the ambivalence of loving
Morin's "Emotional Aphrodisiacs"
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Exuberance (joy, celebration, surprise, freedom, euphoria, pride) Satisfaction (contentment, happiness, relaxation, security) Closeness (love, tenderness, affection, connection, unity, appreciation) Anxiety (fear, vulnerability, weakness, worry, nervousness) Guilt (remorse, naughtiness, dirtiness, shame) Anger (hostility, contempt, hatred, resentment, revenge)
Adult Sexual Relationships - October 17th 2012
Introduction
Define "adult" Your values, expectations, experience Your sexual orientation Physical, psychological, emotional, relational Your tolerance for complexity, empathy, generosity, honesty Communication Disappointment & how you handle it Impulses and how you express & control them Commitment & fidelity decisions Contraception STI risks
Dating
How & where do you meet people? The decision to become sexual The decision to be celibate How much history do you share?
Hookups
According to the textbook author: Over 88% of students she asked had engaged in a hookup. 98% said they'd had a "really good" hookup. 78% said they'd also had a "bad" hookup.
Controversial (?) Dating
Same gender Different races Mixed religions Age gaps
Housemates Seeing someone who is in another relationship
Friends with Benefits
This can work very well with two people who know themselves and know exactly what the "rules" are for this relationship. Possible snags include: Jealousy; Loss of friendship; How does it feel when your friend finds a Lover? Emotional imbalance - one of you is in love, the other isn't; Fantasy: I can change this into something else.
Singlehood
Since 1970, the proportion of USA people staying single into their 20's & 30's has more than doubled. Education & Career Avoiding risk of divorce Less social stigma for staying single Haven't found Mr/Ms "Right"
41% of men said they would settle for a less-than perfect mate; only 34% of women said they would, according to a 2000 CNN poll.
Cohabitation
40% of US couples 90% of married Swedes had done so 80% of married Danes had done so Cohabiting partners 2X more likely to be of different races than married partners. Half of all cohabiting couples break up within 1 year. Those who marry are more likely to divorce.
Your reasons for living together & reasons for marrying may be major factors here.
Marriage
25 & 27 the average age for US women & men
Happiness Factors
Shared activities (fun) Clear finances Satisfying sex life Shared life goals Emotional support High rewards, lower costs Both partners have a good attitude toward the marriage
Having Children
A joy & a challenge What becomes of passion? What becomes of the couple?
Infidelity
90% claim it is due to unmet emotional needs
Polyamory
About 3 million US couples. It works, or not.
Arranged marriages
Still in India, Africa, parts of South America, China, etc.
Divorce
Eye-rolling A sign relationship is bad and one of the number one things that may lead to divorce.
Internet World
Good-quality information available for teens on up: www.sexetc.org Facebook, etc. - a good idea, or as one student wrote, Facebook has taken a lot of the intimacy and privacy out of relationships among young people today. Is there anything young people do privately any more? Internet dating, from Craig's list to E-Harmony Sex toys: blowfish.com Xandria.com
Look up the history of the vibrator on slate.com
Sex Appeal
Quotes from Sex Appeal: the art and science of sexual attraction, by Kate & Douglas Botting Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. Sophia Loren The plainest person can look beautiful, can be beautiful. It only needs the fire of sex to rise delicately to change an ugly face to a lovely one. That is really sex appeal: the communicating of a sense of beauty. D. H. Lawrence A well-fed stomach and a naked body breed lust in a man. Chinese proverb Some people get a sense of smug superiority by claiming how many orgasms they either had or "gave" a partner. They confuse sex with pinball. Some people use pleasure-giving as a way of controlling a partner. They might hardly come at all while making sure that their partner comes several times. While this might not sound like such a bad problem to have, keep in mind that partners who won't surrender the reins sexually are sometimes very controlling in other aspects of life as well.
The Guide to Getting It On
The 4 Corners of Eroticism (J. Morin): The pleasures of love are always in proportion to the fear. Stendahl
1. Longing and Anticipation o longing and fantasy o short-term longing (flirting works because there is an awareness of distance) o teasing and anticipation o longing and fulfillment 2. Violating Prohibitions002+ o "the thrill of naughtiness is ageless and timeless" o the risk of discovery
o forbidden fruit o pushing the boundaries in fantasy 3. Searching for Power o making the most of powerlessness o paradoxes of power o "a forceful partner demonstrates with his or her passion the value and desirability of the one who submits...a submissive partner demonstrates through his or her surrender the irresistible erotic powers of the aggressor. Both top and bottom feel strong and affirmed. Ultimately, control resides with neither alone, because the energy is generated by their interaction," (p. 97). o power and responsibility o symbols of power o establishing safety 4. Overcoming Ambivalence o from ambivalence to passion (initial reluctance) o ambivalent attractions o overcoming ambivalence through fantasy o the ambivalence of loving
Historical Sex
The desire for intercourse is the genius of the genus. Schopenhauer Sexual pleasure, in short, must evolve as a stimulus for reproduction. Stephen J Gould Women on average eject roughly 35% of the sperm within thirty minutes of the time of insemination. If the woman has an orgasm, however, she retains 70% of the sperm. David Buss Let his left hand be under my head and his right hand embrace me. Song of Solomon When any one of you has sex with his wife. then he should not go to her like birds; instead you should be slow and delaying.Mohammed Ancient Hindus of India: sexual pleasure as a spiritual ideal, a spiritual duty. From 5th Century on, temples displayed gods, nymphs, & mortals in pursuit of sexual pleasure The famous Kama Sutra seems to have been around since between 300-500 A.D.
"Kama Sutra" - "Aphorisms on Love"
One part of extensive guidelines for a good life and spiritual progress. Hinduism the predominant religion. FOUR AIMS in life: dharma - satisfying the religious, social, and moral obligations that defined correct behavior artha - material well-being karma - pleasure and love, desire, affection, lust, sensual pleasure moksa -release from the cycle of rebirth
Your focus was to try to improve your own karma. Sexual fulfillment could improve your karma. Since about 1000 A.D., Indian society has become more restrictive about sexuality.
Celibacy
A long history: purity unattainability self-denial: no pleasure closer to God contraception women focusing on female power women's duty: to be virgins courtly love do not act upon same-sex longings
"Power virginity:" True Love Waits "Passionate Celibacy" (Sally Cline): refuse the mass-market sex hype and become powerfully autonomous in your sexual choices. Break the mold.
1. Define your terms. Complete? Partial? How long?
Some believe masturbation is part of celibacy; some say you can't be celibate if you practice anything sexual at all. o Celibacy isn't necessarily for life. 2. Consider your motives: o Religious devotion (nuns, priests) o Religious/moral (no sex before marriage) o Disease/pregnancy avoidance o Negative past relationship experiences o More time/energy to focus on self o Priorities elsewhere (school, career, etc.) o Recovering from addictions o To learn about sexual feelings without acting on them o To develop relationships not complicated by sexuality o Life circumstances (i.e., none available) o Learning to overcome things like jealousy, abandonment, etc. NHSLS, 1994: 4% of men, 14% of women report they rarely or never think about sex. Or are you avoiding sex? Unhappy relationship Angry withholding Unresolved sexual conflicts, fears Guilt, shame Problems with the emotional aspects Confused about sexual orientation o
Possible down sides of celibacy: Loneliness Worry about what others think Ends relationships before they begin Getting back into sex might be scary
"Address the secular argument that sex should wait until marriage."
Secular = non-religious Pragmatic reasons (avoid pregnancy, STI's) Emotional reasons (guilt, self-esteem, preserving the specialness, fear, whatever) Biological reasons (Mom's baby, Dad's maybe) Marriage provides a legal, social, and emotional framework for working things through with another person, rather than the possibility that you can just cut & run. So it can be a safer place for sex, for many people.
The Ultimate Sex Book
Check out Anne Hooper's The Ultimate Sex Book.
1. Knowing and enjoying your sexual self. Becoming more sexual and sensual. The image you project. Touch. Dress. Smell. Your voice.
2. Explore the meaning of sex for you. Learning and demonstrating what you like. Communication. 3. Examining your glitches:
What are their origins? What functions have they served so far? What do you want to do about them now? Overcoming inhibitions. Developing an internal image of what you want to be like, sexually. Mental rehearsals. Improving technique o Becoming a better lover. Asking. Listening. Trying. "Do you like this? Or is it better like this?" Mapping. o Addressing relationship problems o Taking pleasure to the next level: your fantasies. o Spontaneity, games-with-purpose o Games for fun and variety Sex during pregnancy Safer sex Rekindling desire Recovering from rejection Toys and other aids o o o o
4.
5. 6. 7. 8. 9.
Love October 22nd 2012
Valentine's Day
Saint Valentine: A Christian bishop martyred in Rome on February 24, 270 Valentine's Day modeled after a pagan holiday - as early as 4th century BC, Roman men participated in rite of passage to god Lupercus: a lottery for teenage virgin girls. She'd be your girl for the year. Christians turned to Valentine, who'd married young lover in secret because the emperor needed soldiers but thought it wasn't good for soldiers to be married. In trouble with the emperor, Valentine refused to renounce his Christianity. He was beaten and stoned to death for it. In 496 AD, the pope outlawed the pagan festival but ok'd the lottery. Only now, you'd draw for the name of a saint and try your best to be like that saint throughout the coming year.
1415: oldest Valentine card we still have, sent by Charles, duke of Orleans, to his wife in prison in the Tower of London. Cupid & his arrow.
Love: What is it???? Attachment, Caring, Intimacy
From the classical Greek: Storge: Loving attachment & nonsexual affection (parent-child, friends, etc.) Agape: Selfless love; generosity, charity, selfless giving (research shows that this is the least frequently seen type of love between adults in committed relationships) Philia: Friendship love, based on liking and respect. Desire to see & do things with that person, or be with them when you feel lonely or bored Ludus: Love as a game. It's all about the seduction, the conquest. You can juggle a number of lovers at the same time. Think Don Juan. Eros: Closest to our idea of Passion. (Eros would shoot unsuspecting people with his love arrows, causing them to fall in love with whomever was right close to them at the time) Passionate Love: State of extreme absorption in another person. Also, heat. "Rose-colored glasses" One survey showed over 80% of college students believed romantic love is necessary for successful marriage. Over 50% believed falling out of love was grounds for divorce.
Falling in Love
2 Pheromones activate the brain directly above the nasal cavity. They are produced by glands in the armpits and pubis. Signaling Pheromones act quickly to alter behavior. Priming Pheromones control hormone and neurotransmitter production in various parts of the brain. Sweat Glands give off proteins; Bacteria feed off the proteins and give off 2 Steroids which are chemically close to testosterone. These steroids make us smell good to each other. Pheromone Release can trigger PEA: Phenylethylamine (PEA) seems to be the neurotransmitter of choice here. Produces euphoria, giddiness, and elation. Sort of like an amphetamine. Other Endorphins are also implicated. But WHO??? Proximity Mere exposure effect:the more you see someone the likelier you are to fall in love with them Similarity Reciprocity Physical attractiveness
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love
3 Components: (IMPORTANT!) 1. Passion: motivation that fuels romance, attraction, and desire
2.Intimacy: sense of bondedness, warmth, sharing, and closeness 3.Commitment:conscious decision to love and maintain relationship Passion builds, intensifies, then fades; Intimacy & Commitment continue to build. Presence or absence of the 3 components account for variations in different types of love relationships. Intimacy & Commitment seem to be strong predictors of relationship stability. One definition of Commitment 1. We stay together no matter how we feel about each other at a given moment. 2. We make NO major decisions without talking them over first. 3. We do NOTHING without considering its impact on the other person. Trust?
The Development of Intimacy
1. Self-love 2. Phases of Relationship a. Inclusion (1st step): the invitation to relate From "hello" to good-morning hug, kiss Inclusion happens throughout a relationship. b. Response: how we reply to a gesture of inclusion. Eye contact? Smile? No response? c. Care: genuine concern for another person's well-being. A huge motivating factor. d. Trust: crucial. You trust that your partner has genuine care for you and will act accordingly. e. Affection: physical, verbal, non-verbal. f. Playfulness: delight & pleasure in each other. g. Genitality: A Big Decision. Sex + Love = ??????? BABY... Does sex enhance intimacy? Do men and women have different views of sex and love? Do straight people view love differently from the way GLBT people do? (patterns seem more related to gender-role trends throughout our culture, rather than to sexual orientation) Same-Gender Couples Do you believe gay, lesbian, bisexual relationships are less satisfying and/or less loving than straight relationships? The data don't support this. But... We bring our gender with us. Machismo? Some Latin-American cultures, for example, still see male-to-male sex as ok as long as you are the penetrater, not the penetrated. Gay men, like many men in our culture, are more likely to separate sex and love than women are. They value love, but they also value sex as an end in itself. Therefore, gay men may negotiate "fidelity" differently. They may not prohibit sexual encounters outside the relationship, but keeping the commitment (whatever form it takes) seems to matter very much. Sex outside the relationship may not mean that love or sex is missing from the relationship (Demian, 1994).
Jealousy
"An aversive emotional reaction evoked by a real or imagined relationship involving one's partner and a third person" (Buunk & Bringle, 1987) Other factors: Injured pride Fear of loss Need to possess/control Insecurity Our reactions to the qualities of the "rival" -Our own opinion of ourselves: how secure and confident are we?
People who place high value on such traits as wealth, fame, popularity, and physical attractiveness tend to be more jealous. Jealousy can be a major factor in relationship violence. Women are more likely than men to admit they are jealous. Women are more likely to be jealous of the emotional aspects of the other relationship; Men focus on the fact that their woman is having sex with someone else. Women tend to blame themselves when a conflict based on jealousy occurs; men blame their partner or the third party. Women are more inclined than men to deliberately invoke jealousy. Men are more likely than women to confront a rival with anger and aggression.
Intimacy: One Model
Picture this as a pyramid, with the base "strangers" (that's where most of the people on the planet reside) Committed Intimate Romantic Relationship Close Friend Friend Acquaintance Strangers
Strangers We don't know about each other, But we know exactly how to treat each other. We share the world, the freeway, the sidewalk and that's all. No names, no addresses, no phone numbers, etc. Acquaintances We exchange names. Maybe a conversation with shared information. Perhaps a common interest, perhaps we know a mutual friend. Friends We hang around together. We find more shared interests. We exchange some intimate information with each other. Close Friends Develops over time. Sexuality may enter the picture. We have a good foundation to move toward a romantic relationship.
Romantic Relationship Sexual attraction. Rose-colored glasses? Relationship still depends on how you feel about each other. Infatuation can happen here - will it grow? Committed Intimates Common values, common goals which are Mutual and Interdependent. Decision to continue with this person in pursuit of important life goals. Commitment is Independent of how you may feel about each other at a given moment. Obstacles & problems here: Lack of mutuality re: goals Don't match on important values Major change in one partner around an important value Emphasizing sex over friendship & trust No trust means Anxiety
LOVE: Hot Off the Press (October 2006) Norman Li, "an evolutionary psychologist and assistant prof in the Dept of Psychology" says: It's all in the budget. Trade-offs and cost-benefit analyses. What you have to offer vs. what you hope to find - your spreadsheet must balance. Your own qualities determine your budget. (Most of us live on a rather limited budget... ) If you think of the characteristics you want in a mate, and you can place those characteristics on a scale of 1-10, you cannot get a 10 on everything! Now, about "real" money: Blanchflower & Oswald (2004) 16,000 American adults who had participated in a number of social surveys since the early 1990's. Respondents simply reported how happy they believe themselves to be on a number of scales. What's it worth? Increasing frequency of intercourse from one a month to at least once a week: $50,000. A lasting marriage: $100,000 per year. (Meaning, on average, a single person would need to receive 100K a year to be as happy as a married person with the same education, job status, etc.) Divorce costs: $66,000 a year. Bottom line: A greater income doesn't buy you more sex, nor more partners. Married people report they are happier than their single peers.
Sexual Arousal October 24th 2012
Setting the Scene for Arousal
Time of day? Place? Smells? Sounds? c Talk? No talk? Quickie? All the time in the world? What's going to do it for you?
Sexual Arousal
Direct genital stimulation produces physical arousal without much brain involvement (we knew that). Other senses take erotic input upstairs; cells fire in the cerebral cortex; input is translated: "turn-on" or "turn-off". Cells in the cerebral cortex transmit messages via the spinal cord that send blood rushing to the genitals causing erection or lubrication. Cerebral Cortex Our sense of "self" resides here, too, and judges what we are doing as right or wrong. See where confusion can occur Subcortex includes cerebellum (regulates body movements), medulla oblongata ("breathin' & beatin') the pons (regulates sleep cycle) and the diencephalon (numerous functions, including regulation of emotions): thalamus and hypothalamus.
Thalamus relays sensory info to cortex Hypothalamus primary activator of the ANS (autonomic nervous system) Limbic System the "seat of emotions" (memory, regulation of hunger, aggression, and sexual behavior) is also directly involved in erection and ejaculation, though we're not entirely sure how Electrical stimulation in limbic system of non-humans can trigger sexual behaviors (mounting, masturbation, erection, even ejaculation without erection).
RAS (Reticular Activating System) A network of nerves that carries messages perceived by higher awareness systems out to the limbs, and conversely. Thus, something we see or smell or feel can result in physiological arousal.
SES & SIS & Your Erotic Imagination
Look up the work of Bancroft & Janssen. Sexual arousal requires a balance of excitatory and inhibitory responses. Personality ("hard-wiring"); psychology; past experience; attitudes & beliefs - all these contribute to vast individual differences. While much attention has been paid to excitatory systems (SES), much less has been paid to inhibitory systems (SIS). Physiological and otherwise. SES includes arousal stemming from social interactions, visual stimuli, fantasies, and nonsexual situations. When an attractive person flirts with me, I easily become sexually aroused. When I see others engaged in sexual activity, I feel like having sex. SIS1 focuses on inhibition due to performance failure.
I am afraid I might lose my erection. I doubt I'm going to be able to come. SIS2 on inhibition due to potential consequences of sex. We could get caught. I could catch some STD. Janssen and friends identify four adaptive purposes for inhibition of sexual response: 1. When the sexual situation contains a threat. 2. When there is a nonsexual threat that demands focused attention. 3. When repeated sexual activity & ejaculation in a short period of time results in impaired fertility and/or distraction from other tasks. 4. When chronic stress results in suppression of reproductive behavior. Researchers such as Carpenter (2008) suggest that the SIS/SES scale needs to be fine-tuned for women to include emotional disconnectedness. If, while having sex, I feel that my partner is not paying attention to me, I have difficulty staying aroused. When I feel angry with my partner, I am not likely to become sexually aroused." Barlow, et al. studied the relationship between anxiety and sexual arousal in men (remember the study in which they threatened men with an electrical shock if they didn't become erect?) and found: Men with no history of sexual problems:(were fine) o Focused on the erotic scene and had no trouble becoming aroused. o Seem less fazed by episodes in which they don't get an erection when they want one. Men with a history of sexual problems:(were not fine/couldn’t get it up) o Were so focused on the negative outcome that they couldn't process the erotic cues. o Tend to be less aware of how aroused they are. o Worry that every episode of no-erection is a sign of a long-term problem.
Dr. Cindy Meston (UT Austin) studies women's arousal and how it is different from men's. Examples: In males, there is a very high correlation between erectile response and how aroused they say they are, while in women there are low, if any correlations. This no longer seems to be due to women not talking honestly about their sexuality. Nor does it seem likely to be because women are turned off by erotic films. Researchers just aren't sure. Are erections just more obvious than clitoral response? Are men just more attentive than women to the very fact that they are sexually aroused?
Oxytocin a "feel-good" hormone that facilitates bonding in a number of species. In humans, oxytocin is released during orgasm. It also stimulates labor contractions and milk ejection during lactation. Can intense emotion cause oxytocin to be released? Turner, et al., 1999 asked women to recall and re-experience a past relationship event that caused them to feel a positive emotion, and one associated with a negative emotion. Subjects also received a 15minute Swedish massage of neck & shoulders. Results? Massage caused slight elevation in oxytocin. Recalling negative emotions caused oxytocin to fall slightly. Recalling positive emotion had no effect.
The surprise?
How variable the women were! Some showed substantial oxytocin-level changes, some hardly any.
Women whose oxytocin levels rose in response to massage & positive memories: Reported little difficulty in setting appropriate boundaries, being alone, and trying too hard to please others. Were more likely to be currently involved in a committed relationship.
Women whose oxytocin levels fell with negative memories: Reported greater problems with anxiety in close relationships.
Testosterone the basic fuel for the sex drive, in both genders. "attached" testosterone is bound to a protein molecule and doesn't do much. (95% in males, 9799% in females) "free" testosterone is metabolically active and affects libido.
Normal ranges of total testosterone: Males: 300-1200 ng/dl Females: 20-50 ng/dl
(that's nanograms per deciliter in the blood) Normal ranges of free testosterone: Males: 1.0-5.0 ng/dl Females: 0.1-0.5 ng/dl
Pheromones chemical substances secreted externally by certain animals, which convey information to or produce specific responses in other members of the same species. (From the Greek pherien, meaning "to bear [a message]," and hormone) Certain orchids emit pheromones that resemble those of female bees. Males attempt to mate with the orchids,- thereby picking up and transferring pollen - helping the orchid reproduce.
Antiandrogens drugs that drastically reduce the amount of testosterone in the bloodstream. Used in Europe to treat sex offenders. One example of an antiandrogen: medroxyprogesterone acetate (MPA) also known as DepoProvera.
Sex Hormones
Hormone Substance secreted by an endocrine gland which regulates various bodily functions. Androgens male sex hormones, eg testosterone Some comes from Adrenal Glands (in both males and females) Most from testes, some from ovaries
Female Sex Hormones estrogen, progesterone Most come from the ovaries A little from the testes
At puberty, sex hormones trigger development of Secondary Sex Characteristics. Sex Hormones both activate and organize our behavior. Activating - How frequently and/or intensely we engage in a behavior. Organizing - what types of behavior we express.
Erogenous Zones
Body parts especially sensitive to tactile, sexual stimulation.
Primary Erogenous Zones
Richly endowed with nerve endings: Genitals Perineum Anus Inner Thighs Breasts Buttocks Ears Mouth Lips Tongue Navel Armpits
Degree and intensity of pleasure vary for different individuals.
Secondary Erogenous Zones
Body parts that have become eroticized via experience:
Shoulders Back Feet etc
Masters & Johnson: Phases of the Sexual Response Cycle
Excitement Plateau Orgasm Resolution
Excitement
Female Male
Vaginal lubrication begins (transudation) Inner 2/3 of vagina expands (tenting) Color of vaginal wall darkens Labia majora flatten & move back from vaginal opening Labia minora thicken Clitoris enlarges Cervix & uterus move upward Nipples become erect Breast size increases moderately Sex flush may appear Heart rate & b.p. increase General neuromuscular tension increases
Erection begins (tumescence) Scrotum begins to thicken, scrotal folds disappear Testes begin to elevate Nipples may become erect Heart rate & b.p. increase General neuromuscular tension increases
Plateau
Female Male
Vaginal lubrication continues, but may wax & wane Orgasmic platform forms @ outer 1/3 of
Rigidity of erection increases Head of penis enlarges modestly Testes enlarge & pull up closer to body
vagina Cervix & uterus elevate further Inner 2/3 of vagina lengthens & expands further Clitoris retracts within hood Labia swell more & change color Sex flush intensifies & spreads Breasts & areolae swell further Heart rate & b.p. increase further Breathing may become more shallow & rapid Further increase in neuromuscular tension Visual & auditory acuity diminish
Preejaculatory fluid may appear Sex flush (in 25% of males) Heart rate, b.p. increase further Breathing may become more shallow & rapid Further increase in neuromuscular tension Visual & auditory acuity diminish
Orgasm
Female Male
Pelvic vasocongestion reaches a peak, setting off a reflex in surrounding muscles. Onset of powerful involuntary rhythmic contractions of orgasmic platform & uterus. The trapped blood is expelled from surrounding tissues. Voila! Sex flush, if present, reaches maximum color & spread Involuntary contractions of rectal sphincter Peak heart rates, b.p., and respiratory rates General loss of voluntary muscle control; may be cramplike spasms of muscle groups in face, hands, and feet
Onset of powerful involuntary rhythmic contractions of the prostate, seminal vesicles, rectum, and penis Ejaculation occurs shortly after prostatic contractions begin Testes pull tightly against the body Peak heart rates, b.p., and respiratory rates General loss of voluntary muscle control; may be cramplike spasms of muscle groups in the face, hands, and feet
Resolution
Female Male
Clitoris returns to normal position w/in 5-10 seconds after orgasm Orgasmic platform disappears Labia return to normal thickness,
Rapid loss of most of penile erection, followed by slower return to normal size (detumescence) Testes drop to normal position & size Scrotum loosens & scrotal folds reappear
position, & color Vagina returns to resting size quickly; return to resting color may take up to 15 minutes Uterus & cervix descend to their normal unstimulated position Areolae return to normal size quickly; nipple erection disappears more slowly Rapid disappearance of sex flush Irregular neuromuscular tension may continue as shown by involuntary twitches or contractions of isolated muscle groups Heart rate, b.p., respiration return to normal levels General sense of relaxation is usually prominent Visual and auditory acuity return to pre-stimulation levels
Refractory period occurs during which another episode of ejaculation is not possible (duration of refractory period is highly variable, generally being shorter in younger males) Loss of nipple erection Rapid disappearance of sex flush Irregular neuromuscular tension may continue, as shown by involuntary twitches or contractions of isolated muscle groups Heart rate, respiratory rate, & b.p. return to baseline levels General sense of relaxation is usually prominent Visual 7 auditory acuity return to usual levels
Orgasm
Lack of orgasm following high levels of arousal may dramatically slow resolution. Sex organs may remain congested with blood, producing pressure which can lead to discomfort. Masters & Johnson describe Orgasm: The body discharges its accumulated sexual tension in a peak of sexual arousal Rhythmic muscular contractions produce intense physical sensations followed by rapid relaxation Intensity and sensations can vary across individuals and your own sexual encounters.
Energy/Fatigue levels Time since last orgasm Mood Relationship to your sex partner Expectations How you feel about the experience
A total body response, not just a pelvic event
Women
In some surveys, 40-50% of women have reported regularly having orgasms during intercourse. Orgasm begins with "a momentary sense of suspension," then intense pleasure starting at the clitoris and spreading through the pelvis. "Warm" "Electric" "Tingly" "Pelvic throbbing"
Men
Orgasm begins with "deep warmth or pressure (sometimes throbbing)," which goes along with ejaculatory inevitability. Sharp, intensely pleasurable contractions involving the anal sphincter, rectum, perineum, and genitals," often described as a sensation of pumping. A warm rush of fluid, a shooting sensation (ejaculation)
Kaplan's 3-Stage Model of Sexual Arousal
1. Desire o Is it low? absent? overwhelming? o Is your level of desire a "good fit" with your partner's? o This is the #1 area of complaint. In clinical work, most people present with problems in this stage. o This stage is often psychological, emotional, and/or relational, areas which Masters & Johnson did not emphasize. 2. Excitement o Erection, lubrication, vasoconstriction 3. Orgasm Masters & Johnson's stages are successive and invariant. Kaplan: Stages may vary in sequence; may not all occur every time (eg. you can be excited, even reach orgasm, without much DESIRE)
David Reed's ESP Model
(Erotic Stimulus Pathway)
Seduction Sensation Surrender Reflection
Singer (1972)
3 types of female orgasm: 1. vulval
o o o 2. uterine o o
like Masters & Johnson's Accompanied by contractions of the orgasmic platform Typically not followed by refractory period occurs only as a result of vaginal penetration Characterized by holding breath as orgasm approaches and exhaling explosively at climax. Often followed by profound relaxation, sexual satiation, and refractory period.
o 3. blended o combines 1 and 2
Why do men fall asleep?
Ejaculation seems to trigger a neurological shut-down in chemical pathways between the midbrain and the hypothalamus - pathways we know are implicated in sleep. Some people think it's connected with loss of seminal fluid, but there's no known substance in semen or sperm to trigger the above neural phenomenon. In evolutionary terms, maybe it's best he goes right to sleep while she goes on to another sperm donor. The more sperm, the greater likelihood of conception. The more sperm, the more sperm-wars will occur, promoting Selection of the Fittest.
The Advantages of Furry Life
"This is your chance," he yells over the music, "to just go wild and crazy. No one is going to judge you here!" Sex and the Single Squirrel Furrie: one's best and truest self can be expressed only through an animal alter-ego. How do we think of animal sex? Natural, uninhibited, unselfconscious. Spontaneous, fevered, urgent.
Or is your animal identity Sweet, tender, affectionate? Delicate, slow, luxurious?
One reason why we think about furrie life is in reference to one aspect of your erotic mind: how do we overcome our sexual inhibitions? October 29th 2012
Sexual Dysfunction
Sexual inhibitions: conscious or unconscious limits on your sexual expression, enjoyment, or functioning. In our culture, it's almost easier to be inhibited than not. What aspects of your experience, awareness, or attitudes contribute to any sexual inhibitions you may have?
What positive purpose have your inhibitions served? Which inhibitions would you like to conquer? What would be the down side of overcoming your inhibitions? Overcoming inhibitions can take time and patience. Cognitive-behavioral psychology: you cannot be both tense and relaxed at the same time. Therefore, you aim to increase your level of relaxation when exposed to things that have been making you tense. ("Systematic desensitization") Sexualities and sexual experiences are produced, changed, and modified within an ever-changing sexual discourse. Tiefer, from Foucault Sexuality as a script: 1. emerges within relationships and situations according to participants' expectations; 2. needs to be constructed rather than controlled; 3. is available to satisfy needs for affection, protection and gender-affirmation. Recall Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan's 3 Stages of Sexual Response: Desire Excitement Orgasm low or absent erection / lubrication premature / inorgasmic
Mostly physical or psychological? Situational? Lifelong? Biological? Generalized? Acquired? Neurological? Psychological? Conflict? Anxiety?
Causes of Sexual Dysfunctions
Organic - hormonal, vascular (blood flow), chemical (from neurotransmitters to too much beer) , neurological; diabetes (vascular) prostate surgery (nerve damage) syphilis (damages spinal cord) MS (damages myelin sheath) kidney disease, hypertension, cancer, emphysema, heart disease, endocrine/testosterone problems; low nitric oxide (nitric oxide comes in contact with muscles surrounding the penile and clitoral blood vessels, allowing vasocongestion) - can be treated with injections to penis (people with clitorises probably less likely to sign up for such treatment)
Hormonal? Vascular? Medications? (b.p. meds, antidepressants, antianxiety meds) Erectile dysfunction ("Ed"): Can't get or keep erection. Do your NPT test (nocturnal penile tumescence).
Premature or delayed ejaculationTreatments: Psychological/Relational Pharmacological (Viagra, etc.) Hormonal Intracavernous Vacuum constriction (don't forget the EROS-CTD) Surgical implants
Female sexual arousal "disorder" or orgasmic "disorder" What are we calling a "disorder?" Are your supposed to summon an erection at will? Is the only "successful" sex orgasmic? HSD: Hypoactive Sexual Desire: up to 33% of women and 16% of men, in some studies. Sexual Aversion: some people can be phobic about sex. Sexual Arousal Disorder Orgasmic Disorder
Sexual Pain Disorders
1. Dyspareunia o painful intercourse. One of the most common sexual complaints. o #1 cause in women: inadequate lubrication o also may be caused by: infections, STIs, allergies, endometriosis, PID, structural disorders, deep thrusting. o psychological: unresolved guilt, sexual anxiety, past trauma. o in men: less common, but may occur with the presence of infection or poor hygiene; a foreskin that is too tight (phimosis); peyronie's disease (causes tissue in the penis to harden, creating a painful bend). 2. Vaginismus o involuntary contraction of pelvic muscles surrounding outer third of vagina. o Penetration is painful or impossible. o Results in deep fear of penetration. o Usually psychologically caused: trauma, abuse, history of abortions, vaginal injuries, etc. o Can be a cause or an effect of dyspareunia. 3. Vulvodynia o chronic vulva pain and soreness (ache, burning, stinging, etc.). o Nerve problem? Treated with biofeedback, topical ointments, surgery, pelvic floor strengthening. o Are birth control pills a factor?
Cultural Influences on Sexuality
Negative Childhood Learning
The Sexual Double Standard Narrow Definitions of Sexuality Performance Anxiety Sexual Knowledge & Attitudes Self-Concept Emotional Difficulties Sexual Abuse, Assault Relationship Problems Ineffective Communication Fears of Pregnancy, STI's
Treating Sexual Dysfunction
Egalitarian Ideology: mutual sexual communication and pleasure are important. Nonegalitarian Ideology: heterosexual intercourse is the goal, therefore the male's pleasure is most important. How does your culture view female sexual arousal? As a good thing? Some cultures view sexual problems as having supernatural causes (fate, or the evil eye). In America, treatment is likely to be multimodal. Physical, psychological, emotional. For low or no arousal/erection: Testosterone patches, creams Substances to enhance blood flow - from mentholated rub to the EROS-CTD (recommended by Dr. Ruth) to yohimbine. Viagra. Intracavernous injections. Vacuum constriction devices.
Surgical interventions - revascularization; prosthetics (penile implants). For female inorgasmia - cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, bibliotherapy, masturbation. For premature ejaculation - cognitive-behavioral therapy, "squeeze" and "stop-start" techniques. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy discover all your thoughts and feelings about sex, including those that spring up while you are in the act. Biofeedback learning to relax.
What a sex therapist might suggest (you will have homework exercises in sexual therapy!)
1. Eliminate intercourse/orgasm o To reduce pressure and fears. This may take place for a week or two at a time. 2. Dealing with the relationship. o Where are the trust problems, the anxieties, the resentments and disappointments? o What role does fear play? o Has there been any infidelity? o What about money, life changes, pregnancy, any stressors? 3. Understand yourself first o sexual hang-ups, doubts, confusions, apprehensions, etc. o Figure out what you need and how to ask for it.
A Gestalt therapist, for instance, might ask you to have various parts of your body speak. Sound weird? o A cognitive-behavioral therapist would have you explore your thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations of what you are observing. o A psychoanalytic therapist would have you explore your past, your feelings toward your parents, your deep feelings and the defenses you use to protect your most vulnerable self. 4. Communication practice o "I-messages" and all the things we discussed during that class. o Setting up safe communication times. o Articulating fears. o Naming your feelings ("This is really embarrassing!") o "Dialoguing," or really "monologuing" - taking turns just saying what is on your mind while your partner just listens without responding. 5. Sensate focus o Non-genital touch o Move toward genitals o Primary erogenous zone touch 6. Moving toward intercourse
o
SEX, DRUGS, ROCK & ROLL
Remember that sexual arousal depends on stimuli from all five senses. Recall that sexual arousal requires adequate arterial inflow. Acetylcholine and nitric oxide are needed for this. Hormones are involved, too. We all need testosterone for sexual arousal. But increased estrogen (in males and females), or an increased estrogen:testosterone proportion decreases libido. High prolactin levels decrease libido directly. Drugs that block dopamine activity increase prolactin and thereby decrease libido. Neurotransmitters: Dopamine :) is a key neurotransmitter in the brain's "pleasure center." Increasing dopaminergic activity increases pleasure; decreasing dopaminergic activity reduces pleasure. Serotonin :( can diminish the release of dopamine, with unhappy consequences as far as sex goes. Substances with anticholinergic properties (they block acetylcholine); selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI's); dopamine-blocking drugs (eg., to treat psychotic symptoms) - these may mess with nitric oxide synthesis. Thereby messing with your arousal. Serotonergic antidepressants are the most common cause of delayed ejaculation and anorgasmia. SSRI's (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), include Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil, Luvox, Lexipro, & Celexa. Decrease libido, inhibit orgasm - perhaps by inhibiting dopamine. (They may prove helpful with premature ejaculation.) Antidepressants such as Welbutrin can enhance dopamine activity. L-DOPA (Wellbutrin, etc.): Increased DOPAMINE can raise sex drive, but can also trigger PRIAPISM (a painful and potentially highly problematic erection that won't go away, the treatment of which may put an end to all erections). Aphrodisiac: any drug or other agent that is sexually arousing or increases sexual desire. (From Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty) Cave drawings: hunters eating parts of their prey to achieve the characteristics of those parts. Many "aphrodisiacs" have been shaped like the desired effect (horns, roots, etc.) A "true aphrodisiac" would produce physiological changes associated with sexual arousal - increased blood flow to genitals, for example. What do they really provide?
Expectancy effect Reduced inhibitions A burst of nutrition/energy Blood flow
Substances to prolong sex might contain scopolamine and/or atropine. (deadly nightshade - belladonna mandrake, jimson weed, cocaine etc.) They block acetylcholine receptors, hindering the parasympathetic system and producing sedative/anaesthetic effects. Spanish Fly: made of crushed dried beetles and contains a crystallized lactone called cantharidin. It burns, among other things. Alcohol A CNS (central nervous system) depressant. First thing to go: your inhibitions. Vasodilation (increased blood flow) throughout the body, meaning less blood flow to your Personal Parts. Can reduce testosterone. Don't forget about Whiskey Dick. From Macbeth: Porter: ...drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things. Macduff: What three things does drink especially provoke? Porter: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. Amphetamines (speed, uppers) are CNS stimulants. They reduce inhibitions, elevate mood, and can enhance your sexual feelings and your beliefs about your sexual skills. They may interfere with erection, ejaculation, vaginal lubrication, and orgasm, especially with higher doses or too-frequent use. Amyl Nitrate ("poppers") dilute blood vessels in brain & genitals. Used for a very quick, brief high (picture a mirrored disco ball overhead). The hope is to intensify sexual arousal and orgasm. Can cause dizziness, fainting, bad headaches. Barbiturates (sedatives, downers): slow everything down. May help relax you, thus enhancing sexy feelings at low dose. But can also reduce sexual desire and impair functioning. Benzodiazepines (muscle relaxants): good for slowing down the central nervous system, reducing anxiety, etc. But again, may reduce desire and sexual performance. (Remember that downers produce a "rebound" effect when you reduce their use. All that anxiety comes back and then some. Yikes.) Cocaine: A stimulant. Euphoria. May increase arousal and intensity, and make erections & orgasms easier. Higher doses can make erections & orgasms just about impossible. Very quickly addictive because it feels so good while you are on it and so horrible when you come down. Ecstasy: MDMA: 3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine A subclass of the phenethylamines (remember PEA?) "Entheogenic:" increasing sense of empathy and closeness. The illusion of intimacy. Mixed effects on individual libidos. May increase sensuality, interest in sexuality; and decrease resistance to sexual activity. Implications visaˆ-vis regrettable sex or coercion? May have the typical SSRI effects on performance. Low sex drive, low arousal, erectile dysfunction, orgasm problems. One study found: Desire & satisfaction increased moderately to profoundly in >90% of subjects. Orgasm was delayed but perceived as more intense. Erection was impaired in 40% of males.
Hallucinogens (LSD, mushrooms, psylocibin, etc.) May increase sensory awareness, but can be unpredictable. Direct effects on sexual functioning largely unknown. Marijuana: Potency derives from delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). It's fat soluble, which leads to its long half-life.Stimulates dopamine pathways."Biphasal:" Euphoria, relaxation, sexual arousal, heightened sensations, and sociability. Then it's a depressant.
For some, anxiety, confusion, paranoia, etc. May reduce testosterone, testicle size, and libido. Can result in "Amotivational syndrome" Narcotics: these are CNS depressants and fall into the class of "anaphrodisiacs." Reduce desire as well as functioning. Viagra: originally developed to treat angina (heart pain) because it increases blood flow to the heart a little bit. With Viagra, a sexual turn-on is still needed. The roman physician Galen believed erection occurred because the penis filled up with air or "wind." Galen recommended gas-producing foods to fix erectile dysfunction. Do not try this at home. Papaverine and alprostadil may be injected directly into the penis. Yohimbine: alkaloid derived from bark of an African tree. It acts as an alpha-2 adrenergic antagonist that produces vasodilation by inhibiting normal vasoconstriction in the sympathetic nervous system. Recent studies indicate it may have psychological effects on sexual arousal as well. (Caution: ED is very close to LD!) Anaphrodisiacs: include opiates, tranquilizers, antihypertensives, antidepressants, antipsychotics, nicotine (constricts blood vessels), birth control pills (because of progestin, any substance with a progesterone-like effect), sedatives, ulcer meds, appetite suppressants, steroids, anticonvulsants, allergy medicines, and other medications. Anti-Androgen Drugs ("chemical castration") eg. progesterone can eliminate sex drive. 31 October 2012 : Sexual Coercion Sexual contact without the full, free and equal consent of both parties. Sexual contact which occurs under duress or pressure from one of the parties. Sexual contact in which there is an unequal distribution of power. Sex which entails any type of force, including threats, against one or both partner(s). Sexual Assault: May or may not include rape. RAPE: Sexual intercourse which occurs without consent as a result of actual or threatened force, must be penetration. Statutory Rape: Sexual intercourse with a person under the legal age of consent (17, in Texas). Age as a factor in consent. In Texas: Aggravated Sexual Assault: Any person who engages in sexual penetration or oral contact with sex organ with any person under 14 years old (First Degree Felony) Sexual Assault: Any person who engages in sexual penetration or oral contact with sex organ with any person under 17 years old and where defendant is 3+ years older than victim (Second Degree Felony) -Is this different from the above sexual assault?
In Texas, the age of consent is 17 and the minimum age of a child is 14 with an age difference of 3 years; thus individuals who are at least 14 years of age can legally engage in sexual activities if the defendant is less than 3 years older than the accuser (22.011(a)(2)).
From Sexuality NOW
Theories About Rape 1. Rapist Psychopathology: Either disease or intoxication are what force men to rape. Without these problems, they would not rape. 2. Victim Precipitation Theory: You did/wore something you shouldn't have. 3. Feminist Theory: Rape & the threat of rape are tools our society employs to keep women in their place, physically, socially, and emotionally.
4. Sociological Theory: Rape is an expression of power imbalances. When men feel disempowered, rape incidents go up. Who gets away with rape? 5. Evolutionary Theory: Rape as a reproductive strategy for males.
Gender Differences in Attitudes About Rape Men: less empathetic/sensitive than women are re: rape; attribute more responsibility to victim; believe more rape myths; more likely to interpret women's behavior as signaling sexual desire/availability. Women: see rape as more justified when they perceive the woman was "leading him on." Ethnic Differences in Attitudes About Rape Ethnic "minorities" tend to hold more traditional attitudes about women & rape. A continuum of sympathy: Least Sympathetic Asian-American Most Sympathetic "Hispanic" African-American White
Rape in Different Cultures
USA has the most reported incidents of rape; other cultures may define it differently or report it less. Rape as punishment, as proof of masculinity, as one's right (when a woman is property). Rape as initiation rite. Child rape: e.g., belief that intercourse with a virgin can cure HIV. Rapex: An anti-rape condom worn by women. Injects barbs into skin of penis. Barbs must be surgically removed. Why have you never heard of Rapex? Rape Among Certain Populations Marital rape: As of 1993, a crime in all 50 states; in some states there must still be force or threat of force. Lesbians: Additional trauma re: identity conflict, perhaps loss of virginity, new fears of pregnancy, STIs. Older Women: They may have far more conservative beliefs about sexuality; may be at more risk of additional physical injury. Women with Disabilities: What happens to your trust when you depend on people to take care of your body? Prostitutes: Who wants to hear about it? Sexual Coercion (From B. King, Human Sexuality Today) Types of Rape Power Rape: to overcome personal feelings of insecurity and inadequacy; to gain mastery and control; to humiliate and degrade their victims "Rape is motivated by the need to dominate, humiliate, and exert power over women [sic]," p.367. Consider prison rape; rape as a war crime; rape as a punishment in some legal systems. Anger Rape: expressing hostility about some wrong or injury inflicted by a woman or by life in general. Usually a stranger rape, usually impulsive. Not premeditated. May follow episode of being wronged, humiliated. Sadistic Rape: Employs psychological definition of sadism: The erotic charge comes from exerting physical force and inflicting pain. It is the pain that gets the rapist hot. May not be sexually satisfied if victim does not protest or suffer. Opportunistic Rape: Primary motivation is sex, but these rapists may have very distorted attitudes and beliefs about sex roles and female behavior, which tend to negate normal social inhibitions. This may account for a majority of date rapes. Where do you see such distortions? Feminist Theory: Rape occurs more often in societies that glorify male violence, especially when that society is also sexually repressive. Is this our culture?
Boys are encouraged to be aggressive, girls passive. Many rapists do subscribe to stereotypical gender roles and beliefs. Do the media glamorize rape? Social Learning Theory: Rapists may have grown up with violence and abuse, learning that this is how you get what you want. Rapists may have learned from society that men can and should do whatever it takes to get what they want. How do we view women as "objects"? Interpersonal Theories: Do men and women lack SHARED MEANING about relationships? Gender stereotypes Sex for money ("I bought you a nice dinner") Sex to get what you want Do women sometimes say a "No" that doesn't mean NO? Studies have shown many men can be sexually aroused by viewing films of rape scenes, especially if they have been drinking. (Most date rapes occur when one or both parties has been drinking.) "Normal" men's reactions to such filmed rape scenes become more like the reactions of rapists if a woman has made them angry just before the viewing. Does this mean we are all potential rapists?
Myths about Rape
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Women who are raped provoke it by their dress and behavior. Women who are raped subconsciously want it. No woman can be raped if she truly doesn't want it. "You can't thread a moving needle" Women frequently make false accusations of rape. FBI statistics indicate that less than 2% of reported rapes are false reports; this is a lower falsereport rate than for most other crimes. 7. A man can't be raped by a woman. The U.S.A. has the highest incidence of rape of all Western nations. Why? Stereotypical gender roles Are we taught to get what we want no matter what we have to do to get it? How many people urge drinks on their dates to enhance their chances? How many people have made false expressions of love to get sex? The role of aggression Antisocial attitudes: remember, this is the psychological definition of antisocial: a person with no conscience, no capacity for empathy. Impact of media portrayals of sex, love, rape Exposure to pornography - can it desensitize? (esp. violent, degrading porn) Sexual arousal becomes paired with violence
Some characteristics of rapists (male): Primarily ages 15-30 Antisocial patterns; high levels of impulsivity & aggression. Many negative interpersonal experiences growing up, often with Dad. Belief in stereotypical gender roles and myths.
Self-centered personalities. Anger toward women. Alcohol/drug use. Histories of other sexual offenses, inc. sexual abuse of children, exhibitionism, voyeurism, and sadism. Histories of fantasizing about rape; violent, degrading porn. Peer culture0 that fails to be horrified by rape.
Acquaintance Rape
Most rapes are committed by someone KNOWN to victim. ("Date rape") Much less likely to be reported than other rapes. Very high percentage of women have experienced this type of sexual coercion. How many men? Why do people engage in unwanted sex acts? to preserve relationship to be popular peer pressure partner questions your sexuality being intoxicated feeling you "owe" your partner something
Misinterpretation of partners' signals does cuddling = sex? does "No" really mean no?
Rohypnol (flunitrazepam), outlawed nationally in 1996. A powerful tranquilizer with 7-10 times the sedative effect of Valium Also produces muscle relaxation & amnesia Combined w/ alcohol, can knock you out
GHB: easily made from household solvents.
The Rape of Males
5-10% of rapes in USA? Highly underreported. Majority of victims in one study of 3635 male rape victims (1972-1991) were heterosexual Caucasians; 93.7% of the rapists were male. Most of the assaults involved physical force or threats of violence, or alcohol Fewer than 15% of the victims reported their rape Most of the victims reported symptoms consistent with rape trauma syndrome
One study of 11 men who'd been raped by women: None reported it
None spoke of it until years later in therapy Most felt something was wrong with them for having become aroused as they did
There are various ways in which the language of sexual victimization can have material cultural effects... For example, it may reinforce and perpetuate images of women as weak, passive, and asexual, and images of men as sexually driven, unstoppable, and potentially dangerous, (Gavey, 1999). Do we make things worse by broadening the definitions of rape and sexual assault? Gavey interviews a woman who at 19 was awakened by her 30-year-old apartment roommate groping her in bed. The woman said, "I remember thinking quite clearly, 'Well, if I don't - if I try to get out of the bed, perhaps if I run away or something... he might rape me... so I had better just... '." The roommate had sexual intercourse with her, and afterward she felt frightened, confused, and hypervigilant about not going to bed earlier than her roommate, but she did not think of or describe the incident as rape until years later. What happens if you love your "rapist?"
The Aftermath of Rape
Consider PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress "Disorder") - I prefer Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome. Physical consequences: injury, pregnancy, STI? Emotional/interpersonal repercussions: "Rape trauma syndrome" - often in 2 phases. Timing may vary widely! 1. acute phase: hours, days, even weeks long o May be highly controlled, may be emotionally out of control o Heightened startle response o Shame, anger, fear, nervousness, self-blame, guilt, out of control, etc. o Nausea, headaches, etc. o Weight; sexual activity; depression; anxiety; loneliness 2. long-term reorganization phase: can last for years o Impact of involvement with legal system o Fear of retaliation o Physical and emotional scars, eg body image o Problems with trust and self-blame o Who knows about it? o Alterations in normal sexual life (frequency, desire, arousal, etc.) How do you go from victim to survivor? 1. 2. 3. 4. Understand the experience and its impact on you & others. It is your experience: What will you do with it? Accept the scars. How have they changed you? Name your strengths. Be specific.
Child Sexual Abuse Our society's beliefs and attitudes about children and childhood. Not all child sexual abusers are pedophiles. Pedophilia: persistent, recurrent sexual attraction to children. Child sexual abuse can also be a simple misuse of power and entitlement; a lack of empathy toward the child; and some offenders do not see children as children.
Incest: brother-sister is most common, mother-daughter is most rare. How children tell you they have been traumatized (no ONE indicators is proof, other than physical injury): "acting out" regression withdrawal PTSD mood changes
Anger, depression, anxiety, promiscuity, dissociation, etc. are also common.
Rather than highlighting and copying, go to file, download as.
(Yeah I downloaded as a PDF and it keeps the same format)
Textbook:
Ch. 6: Please read Modules 6.6 through 6.9. I will take exam questions from the following “Learning Objectives” (these are the LO items in your text): LO18, LO20, LO23, and LO25. k LO18: Discuss research on same-sex sexual behavior
some gay/lesbian adolescents experience sexual intercouse during their teen years before they identify themselves as gay/lesbian. NSSHB (National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior) found that same-sex sexual activity was relatively uncommon in adolescence but increased in older age groups (experimentation) “We know that same-sex sexual behavior is common in adolescence, both for those who will go on to have predominantly heterosexual relationships and those who will have predominantly same-sex relationships.” pg. 197
LO20: Explain how religion can affect an adolescent's sexual behavior
In general, more religious heterosexual youths tend to delay first sexual intercourse, have fewer incidents of premarital sexual activity, and have fewer sexual partners. (This may be because these adolescents are less sexually experienced overall, or tend to develop friendships with people who are more likely to disapprove of early sexual activity). however, once teens begin engaging in sexual behaviors, religious affiliation and frequency of religious attendance have found to have little impact on frequency of sexual behaviors.
LO23: Discuss the incidence of sexually transmitted infections in teens
Rates of chlamydia/gonorrhea higher in 15 → 19 old females 15-24 year olds acquire ~50% of all new STI’s. Gays/lesbians/bisexuals are less likely to use condoms or other barrier methods
LO25: Differentiate between comprehensive and abstinence only sexuality education programs
Comprehensive sexuality programs are those that begin in kindergarten and continue throughl 12th grade. They include a wide variety of topics and help
students to develop skills to make their own decisions and learn factual information. Have four main goals for sexuality education. Abstinence-only programs emphasize abstinence from all sexual behaviors, and typically do not provide information about contraception or disease prevention. Abstinence-only programs argue that premarital sex leads to psychological problems for the couple and baby comprehensive sex education is favored by the majority of parents, teachers and students in the US (page 204)
Ch. 9: Exam questions may be drawn from the following: LO1, LO3, LO10. LO1: Compare the Kinsey and Klein sexual orientation continuums:
Kinsey introduced six-point scale ranging from exclusively heterosexual behavior (0 points) to exclusively homosexual behavior (6 points). Kinsey’s scale was the first scale to suggest that people engage in complex behaviors that cannot be reduced to simply “homosexual” or “heterosexual” The Klein sexual orientation grid includes 7 dimensions: attraction, behavior, fantasy, emotional preference, social preference, self-identification, and lifestyle. Each is measured for the past, present, and the ideal.
LO3: Summarize the findings of one or two studies that produced evidence for a substantial genetic component of sexual orientation.
Dean Hamer and colleagues found that gay males tended to have more gay relatives on their mother’s side, and they traced that to the existence of a gene that they found in 33 of 40 gay brothers, this gene is inherited from the mother’s but not the father’s side. Other studies support the familial link but have found that male sexual orientation is inherited from the father’s and not the mother's side. gay men were found to have more homosexual male relatives than heterosexual men, and sisters of gay men were more likely to be lesbians than sisters of heterosexual men.
LO10: Identify three ways in which children and adolescents are impacted by the presumption of heterosexuality:
all your life, from the time you were a toddler you were presented with a single model of sexual life: you were expected to be attracted to the other sex, to go on dates, and eventually marry. (society) your parents, your friends (playing house, school dances) (family values) television (heterosexual couples on TV), movies, newspapers, magazines, the government
Ch. 7: Exam questions may be drawn from the following: LO4, LO9, LO13, LO22, LO23.
The Roseto Effect (this will be pertinent especially if you choose “Lars and the Real Girl” for your paraphilia film)
love of community, very small close knit sense of feeling cared about - this will help in the health aspect of individuals
LO4: Explain how Schacter and Singer’s experiment using epinephrine with students provided valuable information on relationship between physical arousal and love.
Students given a shot of epinephrine (adrenaline, causes arousal) and some were informed what to expect while others were not Each group was put into a waiting room with a student who was acting happy or a student who was acting angry When they felt aroused, informed students assumed it was the shot/epinephrine Uninformed students believe they were feeling happy or angry CONCLUSION - Emotions happen when there is general physiological arousal for whatever reason and a label is attached to it
LO9: Identify three reasons why we are initially attracted to some people and not others.
Similarity and Proximity o Most likely to meet partner at a party, religious institution or friend’s house o Similar to ourselves - ethnicity, race, social class, religion, social education Physical Attractiveness o Matching hypothesis - people drawn to others with similar levels of attractiveness Financial Stability o In past heterosexual women more likely to rate financial stability higher than heterosexual men o Now it’s pretty even
LO13: Define jealousy and possessiveness and explain the negative impact that these emotions can have on a relationship.
Jealousy - emotional reaction to a relationship that is being threatened (matter of interpretation) o Most jealous when other person has traits we want in ourselves o Correlation between self-esteem and jealousy (lower self-esteem - more jealous) o No experience → more secure o Lack of trust and low self-esteem
Possessiveness - strength of bond used by one partner to manipulate the other o indicates problem of self-esteem and personal boundaries, and can eventually lead to stalking o Abusive relationship exist when one tries to increase own self worth or control other’s behavior by withdrawing or manipulating love
LO22: Identify gender differences in extramarital sexual behavior and other cultures.
20% of women have engaged in extramarital sex while married 15%-30% of men have engaged in extramarital sex while married 90% occur because of unmet emotional needs Women more likely to have emotional and not sexual affair Men more likely to have sexual affair Women experience more emotional distress but rate emotional affairs as more harmful than sexual affairs Men rate sexual affairs as more harmful
LO23: List and describe three legal forms of same-sex relationship in the United States.
Domestic Partnership - live together Civil Unions - recognized marriage Marriage - Legal in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, and DC; normally not recognized outside of these states as of last night we can ADD Maine, Maryland and Washington!! Defense of Marriage Act (1996) - prohibits federal recognition of legal same-sex relationships even if legal in individual states; was overturned
Cohabitation; Marriage: Happy Ever After?- living together
Pros: learn about each other’s habits and idiosyncrasies, share finances and mature in their relationship Cons: no support from family/relatives, society doesn’t recognize this for the purpose of health care or taxes, assume different things out of living together heterosexual couples who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce ½ of all cohabiting couples break up within the first year
Divorce: Whose Fault or No Fault?
No fault- in almost all states, neither partner needs to be found guilty of a transgression to dissolve the marriage
covenant marriage- restrictive agreed on rules and regulations for ending a marriage
Eye-Rolling, Marriage, and Divorce Extramarital Affairs: “It Just Happened”- sex outside of a committed relationship
first step: get close to someone at work, school, etc- chemistry and attraction second step: keep relationship a secret, adds fuel to passion third step: start doing things together, still think of it as a friendship last: sexual intense emotional affair begins affairs happen because of unmet emotional needs within the relationship
Open Marriages: Sexual Adventuring
Polyamory- having multiple romantic partners. Intimate, commited relationship o men proposed idea o usually husband wants to end relationship & women want to stay in o all people involved know each other o can be any configuration of people
Jealousy (lecture), including the sociobiological/evolutionary psychology perspective
people who place high value on traits such as wealth, fame, popularity, and physical attractiveness tend to be more jealous jealousy can be a major factor in relationship violence women are more likely to admit to being jealous women are more likely to be jealous of the emotional aspects of the other relationship women tend to blame themselves when a conflict based on jealousy occurs; men blame the third party/partner women are more inclined to deliberately invoke jealousy men are more likely to confront a rival with anger & aggression
LO4: Explain how Schachter and Singer’s experiments using epinephrine with students provided valuable information on the relationship between physiological arousal and love:
Schachter and Singer concluded that an emotion happens when there is general physiological arousal for whatever reason, and a label is attached to it--and that
label might be any emotion. The idea may explain why we tend to associate love and sex so closely; sexual excitement is a state of intense physiological arousal. LO9: Identify three reasons why we are initially attracted to some people and not others:
field of eligibles: our culture helps determine who is in our field of eligibles through social rules about acceptable and unacceptable partners. similarity and proximity- people are more likely to find love among the people they know or meet through the people they know, where the people are similar to ourselves physical appearance- “matching hypothesis” claims that people are drawn to others with similar levels of attractiveness financial stability- financial resources
LO13: Define Jealousy and possessiveness, and explain the negative impact that those emotions can have on a relationship.
jealousy: is an emotional reaction to a relationship that is being threatened. o demonstration of lack of trust and low self-esteem, jealous individuals can drive their mates away possessiveness: when one partner tries to increase his or her own sense of self-esteem or control the other’s behavior by withdrawing or manipulating love o indicates a problem of self-esteem and personal boundaries, can eventually lead to stalking
LO22: Identify gender differences in extramarital sexual behavior and attitudes in the united states and other cultures:
less than 5% of all societies are as strict about forbidding extramarital sexual contact as the united states Men: 15 to 35% engaged in extramarital sex (U.S.), more likely to have sexual affairs, rate sexual affairs as more harmful than emotional ones, Women: 20% engaged in extramarital sex (U.S.), more likely to have emotional but not sexual affairs, rate emotional affairs as more harmful than sexual ones
LO23: List and describe the three legal forms of same-sex relationships in the U.S.:
Civil Unions/Domestic Partnerships; typically civil unions and domestic partnerships that are performed in one state are not recognized in other states, even if they have a civil union/domestic partnership law. Same-sex marriage; federal gov. did not support due to Defense of Marriage Act -- later declared unconstitutional; as of 2011 same-sex marriage legal in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York and D.C. Same-sex marriages are typically not recognized outside of these states.
Ch. 8: LO1, LO5. LO1: List 3 of the biggest influences on sexual attitudes and behaviors:
Family Background: students who come from households with married parents and traditional family backgrounds have been found to have more conservative attitudes about sexual behavior. Ethnicity: forms a barrier (“sexualized perimeter”) , helps determine who we let in for sex or who we keep out. Affects our sexual attitudes, ability to communicate about sex and the frequency of these behaviors. Religiosity: the more religious people are, the more likely they are to be conservative about their sexual behaviors
LO5: Identify one to two criticisms of the existing sexual response models, and discuss proposals for future directions in sexual response research:
Leonore Tiefer, suggests that Masters and Johnson’s model focuses exclusively on adequate genital functioning, leaving out emotionality, sensuality, cultural differences, power issues etc. , women complain of desire and arousal issues and other difficulties in emotionality, sensitivity, and connectedness. Rosemary Basson, believes women’s motivations for sex are more complex than men’s motivations; plasticity sexual distractions of everyday life interfere in a woman’s ability to feel sexual arousal. If a woman can overcome these distractions, Basson suggests that continued sexual arousal can lead to a desire for sex and sexual pleasure.
Ch. 14: We cannot emphasize strongly enough that we expect each and every one of you to make a difference in the problem of sexual coercion. Please read this entire chapter. Exam questions may be drawn from any or all of the Learning Objectives. Learning objectives: LO1- Define rape and sexual assault. Explain how certain factors can make defining these terms difficult. Line between rape and other categories of sexual behavior can be blurry because of the distinctions between forced and consensual sex, as well as societal patterns of female passivity or male aggression. Rape- forced sexual behavior without a person’s consent Sexual assault- coercion of a nonconsenting victim to have sexual contact - Societal and cultural rules often dictate that among heterosexuals, men, not women, should initiate sexual activity - These beliefs about how sex is supposed to be can make defining rape a difficult task - Also complicated by the fact that sometimes unwanted sex is consensual (meaning that one or both parties said yes when they wish they had said no or regretted sex afterwards)
- Studies have found that a significant percent of college students engage in unwanted sexual activity in dating relationships LO2- Identify 5-6 common myths about rape and sexual assault, and discuss how these myths affect perceptions of these crimes Rape myths- prejudicial and stereotyped beliefs about rape, rape victims, and rapists - Leads people to justify rape by rationalizing what happened and who might be at fault. They also often shift the blame to the victim. Rape Myths: 1) Only “bad” women get raped 2) Women make false reports of rape 3) Women fantasize about rape 4) Men can’t be raped 5) You can tell a rapist by how he looks 6) People cannot be raped against their will LO3- Describe profile of typical individual who commits rape - Primarily male, single, and between ages of 15 and 30 - Have been found to have high levels of impulsivity and aggression, sexist views of women, high levels of rape myth acceptance - Histories of personal violence (such as child physical or sexual abuse, dating violence, or intimate partner violence) - Normally not different psychologically than a non-rapist male - Often has multiple victims- thus a relatively small number of men are responsible for a large number of attacks
- Variety of rapist types: - Power- motivated by domination and control - Anger- motivated by anger and use it in overt ways - Sadistic- motivated by sexual and aggressive fantasies LO4- Discuss gender, ethnic, and cultural differences in attitudes towards rape Men- less sensitive and empathetic towards rape than women - more likely to believe in rape myths - heterosexual men more likely to expect sex after paying for an expensive meal; no expectations if bill is split - CHANGING ATTITUDES: men who take rape education workshops and take college courses on violence against women have less rape myth acceptance Ethnic differences - ethnic minorites have more traditional attitudes towards women - Non- Hispanic whites have MOST sympathy, then blacks, then Hispanic or JapaneseAmerican - Asian- American students have LEAST sympathy for women that have been raped
and are more likely to hold victim responsible Cultural differences - Rape defined differently around the world- incidence of rape varies depending on a culture’s definition of rape -- Rape accepted as punishment - Cheyenne Indians- punished wife for cheating with gang rape - Marshall Islands of Pacific Ocean- Women are property, can have sexual activity forced on them at any time - Kenya- Gusii people. View intercourse as a way that men can overpower women and cause pain. Boast about making women cry and think it makes them more of a man - Pakistan in 2002- Used rape as a form of punishment when an 11 year old male was caught walking with a girl without a chaperone. They sentenced his 18 year old sister to gang rape in front of the town to bring shame to the family. -- Rape used as initiation purposes - East Africa, Kikuyu have an initiation ritual where a young boy is expected to rape to prove his manhood. Couldn’t have sex or get married until this rape occurred. - Australia- Arunta people have a ritual where girls are raped before their wedding then given to their husbands to show that no one else has access to the girl. Many cultural beliefs and societal issues are responsible for high rape rates in South Africa. - South African women find it hard to say no because men believe they’re entitled to sex and think women enjoy being raped. - 2005- Anti-rape condom - Controversial because it put the problem on the women’s shoulders Asian Cultures - More conservative attitudes about sex - Often more tolerance for rape myths Primary cultural factors that affect incidence of rape: 1) relations between the sexes 2) the status of women 3) male attitudes in society LO5- Identify 2 ways in which alcohol is a strong predictor of rape on college campuses. - Women who are drunk are viewed as “loose” or sexually “easy” - For men, alcohol seems to “sexualize” their environment LO6- Discuss ways fraternities might create a ripe environment for rape - revolve around an ethic of masculinity - values members see are important: competition, dominance, willingness to drink alcohol, and sexual prowess - considerable pressure to be sexually successful; acceptance gained through sex - emphasis on masculinity, secrecy, and protection of the group
- more likely to believe rape-myths LO7- Discuss reasons for higher rates of rape-supportive attitudes and sexuallyaggressive behavior among college and pro athletes - participation in athletics associated with rape-supportive attitudes and sexually aggressive behaviors - athletes who play on revenue-producing teams are more likely to have sexuallyaggressive behaviors than non revenue producing teams - players seem to have a sense of privilege. Playing sports help connect sexuality and aggression. - All male groups= “hyper-masculinity” – promotes the idea that violence and aggression are “manly” - male athletes have distorted view of women: revolves around views expressed in locker room. Locker room talk- derogatory language (“sluts” & “bitches”), athletes not playing well may be called a “girl” LO8- Discuss range of psychological and emotional reactions to rape experienced by victims and victims’ partners - Most women knew the rapist - women who feel guilty or responsible have lower levels of psychological well-being than women who don’t feel responsible - Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS)- 2 stage response pattern - physical, psychological, behavioral, or sexual problems or combination after forced sexual activity. First stage: -fear being alone, fear of strangers, or of location of the rape - other emotional reactions - may experience wide mood fluctuations - difficulties sleeping, w/ nightmares This stage occurs immediately after assault and may last days to weeks. Second stage: Called Long-Term Reorganization - restoring order to life and getting control - changing aspects of life such as address, phone numbers, university, etc. have helped gain control Silent Rape Reaction: - never discuss the rape with anyone - similar to RTS, feelings still appear, just remain inside - longer the victim takes to tell, longer the recovery time - victims will deny it happened until they feel emotionally strong enough to talk about it Partners’ Reaction: - feelings of anger, frustration, intense feelings of revenge - strong desire to “kill him” or “make him pay” - feel sense of loss, guilt, self-blame, jealousy - may lose trust in partner if rapist is an acquaintance - date rape experience- negative judgments and reactions - stressful to relationship- but it is important to talk about it
LO10- Explain legal exemptions for marital rape and common symptoms in victims Legal- Since 1993: marital rape illegal in all 50 states. 30 states have exemptions for husbands if wife is unconscious, asleep, or mentally impaired. Common symptoms in victims- feeling extremely betrayed - loss of ability to trust others (especially men) - little social support - those who stay with their husbands often endure multiple attacks Marital rape= one of the least discussed types of rape. LO11- Discuss differences in emotional reactions to rape in heterosexual and lesbian women - slightly higher rape rates by heterosexual men to lesbian and bisexual women - lesbian and bisexual women also experience RTS but may have more intense emotional repercussions than heterosexual women because the lesbians experience difficulty assimilating the experience of rape into their self image and some have never experienced intercourse with a man so they’re not accustomed to the feelings and fears that go with that LO12- Describe some of the factors that contribute to higher frequency of women with disabilities More vulnerable because - they have less ability to fight back - more difficulty reading warning signs - may not be able to realize their rights have been violated- therefore don’t report the attack LO13- Describe 2 reasons for high frequency of rape experienced by prostitutes - Sexual assaults by pimps are common - People tend to not believe she was raped - people tend to think she’s mad because she didn’t get paid LO14- Explain how prisons have worked to reduce prevalence of rape in prison. - Prison Rape Elimination Act (2003) - federal law that reduces tolerance for prison sexual assault - helped reduce prison rape rates and support those who got raped in prison LO15- Discuss how men can be raped and common long term effects Rape of men by women - belief that men cannot be raped by women seems to make male rape more humiliating and painful - Female rapists- forced sex, verbal coercion - use of psychological or pressured contact rather than physical force - Men who are raped often don’t define themselves as victims- therefore don’t report the
crime Rape of men by men - gay men raped at higher rate than heterosexual men - forced anal (most common sexual activities) and oral sex, and masturbation to ejaculation. - expression of power, show of strength, and masculinity - emotional responses: shame, embarrassment, self-blame, hostility, depression, RTS. Rape may make them question orientation or feel less “manly”. Fear others will think they’re gay. LO16- Pros and cons of different coping strategies - victim expected to fight back. Without bruises, society doesn’t give as much sympathy. Some victims may freeze in fear or disbelief - First & best strategy- ESCAPE! - verbal strategies: screaming, dissuasive techniques (I’m on my period, I have herpes), empathy, negotiation, and stalling for time ---- but these attempts may do more harm than good depending on the rapist - another strategy- attempt to talk to attacker and make yourself a real person - Self- defense classes LO17- Gender differences in reporting of rape and explore reasons why a victim should consider reporting rape and pressing charges. WOMEN- less likely to report a rape if they know the attacker MEN- less likely to report if it jeopardizes their masculine self-identity REASONS WHY VICTIMS SHOULD REPORT: - women who report their rapes have better adjustment and fewer emotional symptoms - alerts police to crime and may prevent more crimes by the rapist - taking legal action helps the victim feel in control LO18- Define child sexual abuse and identify the factor that characterizes a typical child sexual abuser Child sexual abuse- sexual contact of a minor by an adult Main factor= Dominant, powerful position of the adult or older teen that allows them to force a child into sexual activity. LO19- Define incest and discuss incest taboo Incest- sexual contact between persons who are related or have a care giving relationship Incest taboo- absolute prohibition of sex between family members (universal) - extremely traumatic because the children look to their parents/caregivers for support or nurture - has been recognized in every culture LO20- Psychological and emotional effects of child sexual abuse - feelings of betrayal, powerlessness, fear, anger, self-blame, low self-esteem, guilt, PTSD, depression, shame, anxiety, nervousness, problems in intimacy and
relationships later in life, anti-social behavior, drug and alcohol abuse, prostitution, eating disorders - Most traumatic- incest over long periods of time, offender is trusted, penetration occurs, and there’s aggression - children who hide sexual abuse feel shame, guilt, fear loss of affection from family and friends, feel frustrated because they can’t stop the abuse LO21- List 3 or 4 long-term effects of child sexual abuse 1) traumatic sexualization- a common result of sexual abuse in which a child displays compulsive sex play or masturbation and shows an inappropriate amount of knowledge about sex 2) promiscuous and compulsive sexual behavior- may lead to sexually abusing others in adulthood 3) connection between eating disorders and past sexual abuse. Men and women affected by child sexual abuse have said they were able to make significant changes in their eating patterns. 4) problems with drug and alcohol addictions- Children believe they are “bad” because of the abuse so they do things that society believes is “bad” LO22- List and describe 2 approaches to treating victims of child sexual abuse - combination of cognitive and behavioral psychotherapies- teach victims how to understand and handle the trauma - being involved in a relationship that is high in emotional intimacy and low in expectations of sex is important for sexual abuse victims LO23- Discuss approaches to preventing child sexual abuse - Increasing availability of sex education, education about sexual abuse might help children understand it is wrong. Also tell kids where to go and who to talk to. - Adequate funding and staffing of child welfare agencies. Train social workers properly and also train physicians and educators LO24- Discuss intimate partner violence (IPV) and identify racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic issues IPV- coercive behavior that uses threats, harassment, or intimidation, Can involve physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Pattern of abuse rather than a single incident **Found in all racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic groups - many men and women killed by their partners (IPH- intimate partner homicide) - common in adolescent and college ages, but can happen at any age - related to stress - higher frequency in women with disabilities - same-sex relationships- similar frequency but different issues arise because of less support LO25- Range of physical and emotional reactions to IPV - psychological and physical symptoms depend on frequency and severity of attacks - common psychological symptoms: depression, anti-social behaviors, increased
anxiety, low self-esteem, and fear of intimacy - common physical symptoms: headaches, back pain, gynecological disorders, and stomach problems LO26- List 2 approaches to preventing IPV and helping victims avoid future abuse. 1) ESCAPE- leave the situation 2) Then seek support. We need proper support in shelters for abused. Studies on Rapists:
Power Rape - Motivated by domination and control. Wants to degrade their victims. Anger Rape - Motivated by anger. Not premeditated, usually happens to strangers. Sadistic Rape - Sexual and aggressive fantasies. Kind of rape that is most likely to lead to murder Opportunistic Rape - Primary motivation is sex, rapist may have very distorted attitudes and beliefs about sex roles and female behaviour, which tend to negate normal social inhibitions. This may account for majority of Date Rapes.
Readings:
“LGBTQ,” etc. – Why is (H) in parentheses?
(H) is in parentheses because heterosexual isn’t usually included when people talk about sexuality Heterosexuality is presumed and this presumption renders all other forms of sexuality as “other”
Labeling & stigmatizing: naming who we are and what we do
o o
Labeling - process of naming behaviors, people and phenomena Stigmatizing - overemphasize an attribute at the expense of seeing the whole person; sociologist Edwin Lemert
“Focus on Homophobia” section. o Homophobia- fear of being, appearing or seeming gay; fear of anyone or “anything” gay; is a weapon of sexism
o
o
becoming a “fag” has much to do with failing at masculine tasks of competence, heterosexual, power, and strength or in anyway revealing weakness or femininity, as it does with sexual identity homosexuality is considered a white or Western thing
“All of the Reasons People Have Sex:” Visceral, Relational, Substitute; What Dr. Liebowitz said.
Visceral - lust; driven by physical urges Relational - motivated by emotions from an intimate relationship Substitute - physical pleasures and the illusion of closeness to compensate for unmet emotional needs Liebowitz - people seek out sex because they suffer from inadequate levels of PEA, which is associated with the “high” of falling in love
“Limited Resources:” covariance of intimacy & passion; How to keep passion alive in the long term.
For positive relationships - High passion comes with high intimacy. For negative relationships - High intimacy when passion is low. Or it can be that the two are not related at all, both can go up or down without affecting each other. Rising intimacy sets off passion. Shared experiences increase intimacy equalling more passionate relationships. Interruption in couple’s intimacy may create an opportunity for a rise in passion when interruption is over. as time increases, passion decreases (stated in lecture)
Lectures: Exam 2
Developmental Psychology - October 8th We have various developmental tasks throughout life. Early relationships have a huge impact on our psychological and emotional make-up; temperament is also a factor. Object Relations a post-Freudian school of thought that emphasizes our internal world of people. The growth of one in relation to the environment.
External world has a big impact too:
Family constellation Social learning, etc. What's happening in the larger world
Many cultures are extremely anxious about childhood and adolescent sexuality. 0-6 Months: "Normal Symbiosis" Mother & Infant are one unit: "the dyad" - infant does not know s/he is separate. Freud: "Primary Narcissism"
You get to be the center of the universe for a while.
"Good-enough parenting:"
You can't be a perfect parent Some frustration is normal for baby
*Key*: Caregivers who do their best to figure out what a baby needs and provide it on a consistent basis. -This is the cornerstone for good attachment, empathy, a conscience, and the capacity to manage emotions. Also, for the capacity to love. Freud: "The ego is first and foremost a bodily ego."
Our need for TOUCH (Harlow: infant monkeys and a fake mother either wrapped in cloth without bottle of milk or wire mother with bottle of milk-showed that the baby monkeys clung to the warmth and softness of the cloth wrapped mother and only ventured away to get milk when needed it the most as compared to being with the bare wired mother with the milk right there.) Pleasure in the whole body, the skin, sucking, touching, etc. Sexual reflexes: boys born with erections, baby girls with vaginal lubrication and genital swelling.(very normal) Kinsey noted orgasm-like behaviors in infants (girls, around 4 months; boys, around 5 months but no ejaculation). 6-12-month-old infants often display acts of autoeroticism (self-pleasuring). Many babies and toddlers masturbate; this should not be translated as meaning the same as sexuality later on in life. These are merely experiences of physical pleasure and tension reduction.
Your job: to teach them about enjoying their bodies safely and respectfully. Superego Your "conscience," or "Inner Parent"
Begins with identification with parents
Ego Mediator between Id and Superego, between Id and reality. Id Our primitive urges, needs, desires, impulses, fantasies, etc.
The dream world Things don't make sense here *need to be able to dip down into your ID & return back to your ego. Need to be able to laugh, appreciate, and be artistic.
6-36 Months: Separation-Individuation
Individuation o difficult for you difficult for your parents o “potential space” own lives & identities if dyad is trusting potential space can exist if connection is safe enough you have so much potential anything can happen Separation (Autonomy) o separate self o you and someone else
6-10 mos: Differentiation Explore "Other's" body 10-15 mos: Practicing Walk away and come back 15-36 mos: Rapprochement "We're not the same and that's okay" Determine we’re similar and individual from our parents Libidinal Object Constancy: ("Libido" here refers to an emotional investment)
the ability of the child to maintain an emotional image of the mother as being basically good but as having both good and bad qualities, an emotional image that changes little under frustration or during a mother's absences.
Despite our separateness, our moods, etc., we are still the same person. Mom is still Mom. She loves me even if she is mad at me. Bridging the gap between Narcissism and the capacity to love others.
Empathy Mirroring Consistency "Good-Enough" Parenting
A "good enough" parent knows how to put a child's needs first and still set limits, be in charge, etc. Authoritative, not authoritarian parenting. Your empathy and attunement will help you know what your child needs: physically, emotionally, verbally. Can you get your own childhood scars out of the way?
Early Childhood (3-8 years)
Many children masturbate. How to deal with this? 60% of boys, 45% of girls age 2-5 have been observed by parent at least occasionally touching their genitals (USA) Most children display sexual curiosity. Autonomy:(independence, self-reliance and privacy) privacy is a growing concern. Lots of body awareness, including awareness of death. What is "latency?" Kids of other gender are often considered "yuck."= “cooties” latency - Development of ability to feel Pleasure, guilt, shame, anxiety Recommended: use the real names for anatomy Teaching little ones about their bodies, from hygiene to respecting selves and others.
Preadolescence (9-13 years) - gain a solid sense of self
Erikson: "Industry vs. Inferiority"
o mastering social tasks, comparing self & peer Piaget: "Concrete-Operational" o more logical, more real-world thinking, less egocentric. Most kids have best friends, usually of their own gender. Sexual "research" is common among kids this age. Increasing body consciousness. Puberty may blossom at any time ages 7-14 Increasing need to fit in, be like others; and at the same time to be special. Kinsey (1948, 1953): 45% of males, 15% of females masturbated by age 13. Interest in the gender to whom one is sexually oriented really starts to take hold. Lots of anxiety about "Normal."
LGBTQ kids can be dealing with extra burdens:
Isolation Differentness Homophobia from others and in self Depression, fear, etc. Lack of a social group, role models, acceptance
Thus it can be especially difficult to put together a sexual identity and "try on" relationships like most people do in junior high & high school. By age 9, who can accurately describe sexual intercourse?
100% of Swedish kids 48% of kids in England 40% of Canadian kids 17% of kids in USA
By age 11?
95% of Australian kids 80% of kids in England 50% of kids in USA
1999: 22% of US high school kids had intercourse before age 13
Adolescence From puberty to adulthood
Puberty: appearance of secondary sex characteristics, menarche, changes in the primary sex characteristics, first ejaculation (age 12 or 13 about average).
Females: pituitary triggers release of FSH, causing ovaries to secrete estrogen. Breasts arrive, uterus grows, body fat swells where it's supposed to. Labia develop. Androgens in females trigger growth of pubic & underarm hair; also growth of clitoris. Males: pituitary triggers production of FSH and LH, stimulating testes to increase testosterone production. Testes, scrotum, penis grow; voice deepens; facial hair; shoulders, etc. Erections arrive with great frequency and often uninvited. Earliest sperm aren't usually mature for about a year, but don't take that for granted. Nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) are normal Adolescent Psychology
Erikson: "Identity vs. Role Confusion" o A second episode of Individuation. Piaget: "Formal-Operational" o Abstract thinking; challenging authority.
Adolescent Sexual Activity
USA, 1993: 88% of males, 62% of females reported having masturbated at least once. Almost one-third have had intercourse by age 15. About 50% by 10th grade.(age 16) Almost 95% have had intercourse by age 19.
Peer perceptions are a grave concern. Substance use. Need to feel loved, accepted. Still a fair amount of guilt, conflict, anxiety. 25% of sexually active teens now have an STD. 1999: AIDS the #7 cause of death in USA for ages 15-24. Inconsistent condom use Adolescent invincibility No information
Pleasure is NOW (no thinking through) Adolescent Pregnancy, USA 800,000 per year under 19 years of age; over 80% unintended 50% end in abortion 1997: over 5% of 15-19-year-old females in US have given birth. Impact on education; poor marriages; economics. Sex Education in USA:
Not correlated with increased sex activity. Correlated with higher condom use. Not in itself enough to modify teen sex activity. Peer advisors add a positive influence. Most effective curricula include parents.
The Imago (From Hendrix, Getting the Love You Want)
List both the positive and negative characteristics of your primary childhood caregivers as you recall them from childhood. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. I am trying to find/get a person who is... To always be... So that I can get... And feel... I stop myself from getting this sometimes by...
Imago: Your unconscious image of the opposite sex (potential love mate). When to worry? Who are your child's caregivers? #1: To be a parent who notices, listens, pays attention. You need to believe your child and also not become hysterical. Contact Child Protective Services, your local Child Guidance Center, or your local Rape Crisis Shelter.
Physical symptoms
Fears showing up, any time of day or night Inappropriate sexual knowledge Inappropriate sexual behaviors Compulsive masturbation Regression to bed-wetting, night terrors, thumb-sucking - all these indicate serious anxiety Major changes in your child
When in doubt, get a consultation. Beyond clear physical injury, there is no one perfect indicator of abuse/molestation. Dr. Beatriz- Univ. of Pittsburgh, compared teens with adults, teens tend to make less use of brain regions that:
monitor performance spot errors plan stay focused
teens place more value on pleasure, love, the new, exciting and risky than cost Sexual Orientations - October 10th Everybody in this room is queer. Questions for group members: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. What was it like growing up queer in your home town? Your family? Your church? Are you out to anyone? Why or why not? Have you ever been in love? What was it like? Are you in a long-term relationship? Do you think you'll have kids one day? What would you like to see change regarding GLBTQ life in America?
Sexual Orientation Sexual attraction to one's own sex (gay/lesbian) or the other sex (straight). Perhaps 1-4% of persons surveyed consider themselves asexual.
Gay/Lesbian: Primary attraction (erotic, psychological, emotional, and social) is toward members of the same sex. National Health & Social Life Survey (1994) 1.4% of women, 2.8% of men identified themselves as "homosexual" 4% of women and 5% of men reported having had a same-sex sexual experience since age
18 5.5% of women and 6% of men said they had been attracted to members of same sex
Kinsey's Continuum 0---------1----------2-----------3----------4----------5---------6 0 = Exclusively Heterosexual 1=Predominately Heterosexual, only incidentally Homosexual 3=Equally Heterosexual and Homosexual 6=Exclusively Homosexual Kinsey: 13% of men, 7% of women are either mainly or exclusively involved with members of their own gender (1940's, USA).
Kinsey thought it was very rare to be exclusively straight or exclusively gay -30% men surveyed had said to have had a gay encounter ( BUT military, research snow balling = skewed outcomes)
Bisexuality Attraction to both same-sex and other-sex partners. Is this
a "real" orientation? Sexual behaviors not only component of sexuality a transitional orientation (experiment; school; prison; commercial) homosexual denial?
LBGTQ etc. Labels: to facilitate understanding and communication
to stigmatize, pathologize to narrow our vision: the label is all we see
"heterosexual" = normal?? essentialism vs. social constructionism: Erotic plasticity (women may easily adapt to changes, and are more shaped by socio cultural and situational factors) Pascoe: "fag talk and fag imitations serve as a discourse with which boys discipline themselves and each other" "fag" = to fail at male competence "Hegemonic masculinity requires that anything remotely feminine be renounced." (hegemony: leadership or dominance by one social group over another) Except, of course, you must like women.
Homophobia requires that men "root out any femininity in each other" and prove their manhood with the endless quest for pussy. Phobia: an irrational fear around which you may arrange your ever-shrinking life. How has homophobia affected you and your relationships? Consider: the male culture and its fascination with lesbian sexuality. What's up with this?
Feeling threatened by lesbians Taking control of the image
Consider: your male lover seems "too nellie" to you. Why does this bother you?
Internalized Oppression Occurs when members of any oppressed or disenfranchised group "internalizes" or deeply believes what the dominant culture believes about them.
May be conscious or unconscious. RESULTS: You hold the popular stereotypes about your group, and have negative feelings about people who belong to that group. You can be biased against people who are like you. You may not want to be with people who belong to your group. You may not trust people who belong to your group. You can be prejudiced against people who are like you. Homophobia: Irrational fears of GLBT; fear of GLBT in oneself; or self loathing toward one's own orientation. Consider: as a gay male, you think your partner will naturally understand if you cheat on him. (And us lesbians naturally assume our partners will be faithful!) Consider: as LGBTQ's, we assume our partners will be good lovers because they of all people should know how to do it! Consider: your girlfriend wants to use a strap-on with you. How do you react? Consider: people who want to "cure" you. As LGBTQ people, who are your role models when you are putting together your identity:
As an individual As a member of society
In a relationship As a parent As a part of the political system In business As a consumer of health care
Coming Out: becoming aware of and disclosing one's homosexuality
Self-acknowledgement Self-acceptance Disclosure support network? whom to tell 1st practice it in your mind plan in advance be patient control your anger
GLBTQ ????? Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, and queering.
Why the ever-longer acronym? Both the terms "homosexual" and "heterosexual" originally referred to sexuality that was out of control. Members of a culture possess the right to name their culture and define it. "Queer" is also an accepted term in much of the GLBTQ community. It came into ascendancy in the political activism of the 1970's - 1990's. - Stone wall riots We're here, we're queer, get used to it.= proud Sexual orientation refers to a whole lot more than what we do in the bedroom.
Fantasies Feelings Behavior Sexual Identity
We need to consider the functions of sexual contact.
Reproduction (estrus in many species)
Competition Maturity, rite of passage Bonding for various reasons
In some species, when a dominant male has taken charge of all the available females, nondominant males must adopt a "feminine" position or starve. In many tribes, semen is a necessary fluid for developing one's manhood. Were you born with your sexual orientation, or did you make a choice? How did you first know your sexual orientation? When did you decide, and why? Some data to confront in your discussions as GLBT kids growing up in America. The data were compiled from a series of studies.
97% of you regularly heard homophobic remarks from your peers. 53% of you heard homophobic remarks from school staff. 80% of you have experienced verbal abuse related to your sexual orientation; 44% of you were threatened with attack; 33% of you had objects thrown at you; 30% of you have been chased or followed.
As a GLBT teenager:
You were 2-6 times more likely to attempt suicide than your straight peers. You may account for 30% of all completed suicides among teens. 46% of GLBT students reported attempting suicide in the past year, compared to 8.8% of your straight peers. 24% of GLBT youth reported becoming pregnant or getting someone pregnant during adolescence.
GLBT in History "Homosexuality:" A 19th-century term, a phenomenon known for all of human history.
Both the term "homosexuality" and "heterosexuality" referred originally to sexuality that was out of control (not in a favorable way). Native American Berdaches had room to adopt "feminine" roles and feminine dress if they so chose.
Babylon: for a male to penetrate a male of equal or higher social status was very good fortune. To seduce a slave would be courting bad luck. To be penetrated - unless you were a temple servant - was to be inferior. Ancient Celts were also practitioners of male-to-male sexual relations. Although the Greeks admired the Celtic warriors' physical strength, some of them viewed Celtic men's couplings as too passive (weak, "feminine"). During certain times in ancient China, same-sex acts were "sometimes fashionable" (Tannahill), because intimacy between two yang elements, though not ideal, was certainly not harmful. Lesbianism "was accepted, with a shrug" as "a natural result of herding a number of wives and concubines together in the women's quarters." India: A mixed picture. Hindu Supreme Being possesses both male and female elements, gods & goddesses & humans engaged in many sex acts for many reasons. Semen has mystical power. But some texts frown upon male-to-male sex acts as a squandering of semen. The Bible takes a very dim view of same-sex sexual acts. In the early Christian culture, passionate attachments between clergymen were not unusual nor thought much about. Around the 9th century, more fuss was made about "sodomy" (non-procreative sex). Early Islam: no shortage of male-to-male sexuality, although sex rules were very conservative. Considered women seductive & dangerous; kept males and females segregated - a situation in which male-to-male sexuality traditionally flourishes. Lesbian = Witch Is it possible the current fascination with female-female sex is simply one more effort by males to maintain control over female sexuality? Even in many of the cultures that embraced male-male sexuality, effeminate males were scorned. Themes:
gender
power (warrior? or landowner) active vs. passive rise of Christianity
Middle Ages: Constitutio Criminalis is the 1st general criminal code established by the Holy Roman Empire. Article 116 says the unchaste are to be burned at the stake (includes man with beast, man with man, and woman with woman). By the late 1600's this was a little easier, as you would be beheaded before the burning at the stake part. 1861: England drops the death penalty for male same-sex sexual acts, replacing it with life imprisonment. 1863: German lawyer Karl Heinrich Ulrichs became 1st person in modern history to publicly declare himself homosexual. (I don't know the exact term he used then.) Mid-1900's, USA: GLB goes from sin to sickness. Mid-1960's: No systematic differences in psychological adjustment between gays and straights. Now: Ok, we don't call it a mental illness any more. 17 June, 1969: Stonewall starts a movement. Around the World (?) Many cultures accept forms of same-sex sexuality. Perhaps half of preliterate societies studied in the 1950's in one survey were accepting of gay males among some members. Fewer of these cultures accepted lesbianism. There are a variety of forms:
Pathism: a form in which the passive partner undergoes a role change and becomes de-masculinized socially and sexually. Youthful experimentation is often accepted in various cultures. Some cultures allow same-sex marriage. Some cultures have same-sex sexual acts as part of religious rites or other rites of passage.
Same-Gender Couples Do you believe gay, lesbian, bisexual relationships are less satisfying and/or less loving than straight relationships?
The data don't support this. But... We bring our gender with us. Machismo? Some Latin-American cultures, for example, still see male-to-male sex as ok as long as you are the penetrater, not the penetrated. Gay men, like many men in our culture, are more likely to separate sex and love than women are. They value love, but they also value sex as an end in itself. Therefore, gay men may negotiate "fidelity" differently. They may not prohibit sexual encounters outside the relationship, but keeping the commitment (whatever form it takes) seems to matter very much. Sex outside the relationship may not mean that love or sex is missing from the relationship (Demian, 1994). Arabic cultures: males may be affectionate (holding hands in public), but male-male sex is still taboo. Asian cultures: In China, "homosexuality" just came off the mental illness list in 2001. During communism, same-sex sexuality was regarded as a "Western social disease." India: same-sex sexuality is still a crime in many places, but some people are beginning to protest. Buddhist countries are more accepting. In Thailand, important public figures have lived openly gay lives even recently. Sambia (New Guinea): a boy becomes manly by drinking sperm. Two-Spirit, the "third gender:" anatomical male who identifies himself as a woman may be seen to possess special spiritual powers. Same-sex marriage is recognized in 15-20 cultures throughout the world. Lesbians may have less frequent sex than hetero or gay male couples, but they tend to express more satisfaction with their sex lives and report more intimacy than their counterparts (Schureurs, 1993). For GLSBT people, love seems to play the same role it does for the rest of the world, in terms of its value in a committed relationship. Love may also have the added component of signifying a commitment to one's sexual orientation: Whom I love is a statement to the world about who I am.
Coming Out: One Model
1. Identity Confusion (with marked distress) o What did you think it meant to be gay? o Now what do you think? o Will you be this, or deny it? 2. Identity Comparison: who are your role models? 3. Identity Tolerance: Um, well, ok. o Many people remain in a "double life." 4. Identity Acceptance: Less confused, more comfortable. More social support. You develop a new family, if you have to. 5. Identity Pride: May be accompanied by resentment of the straight world's attitudes and behaviors. 6. Identity Synthesis: Sexual orientation is only a part of who I am. I'm finally fine with my sexual orientation and I'm mostly patient with the people who still can't tolerate it.
How is sexual orientation determined and what does it mean to even ask that question? Bell et al. (1981) surveyed 979 gay & lesbian men and women, and 477 straight folks.
doesn't seem to be "default" (i.e. because of unsatisfactory hetero experiences) it's not because they've been "seduced" by a gay/lesbian person Freud's theories (absent or harsh father, overly close to mother for gay males) were supported and not - some gays fit this history, but so did straight people doesn't seem to be because our best friends have been of our same sex
Biological Theories
hormones? prenatal hormone levels can have impact:masculinization/feminization in lab animals the brain? LeVay (1991) found smaller anterior hypothalamus in cadavers of gay men (but this was a small sample of gay men who had died of AIDS) genetics? identical twin studies suggest genetic component (52% of identical twins, 22% of fraternal twins, 11% of adoptive brothers, in one study of gay males)
Youth at Risk 97% of students in public high schools report regularly hearing homophobic remarks from peers.*
53% of students report hearing homophobic remarks from school staff.* In a 14-city study of G:B youth, 80% reported verbal abuse, 44% reported threats of attack, 33% report having had objects thrown at them, and 30% report having been chased or followed.
Lesbian and gay youth are 2-6 times more likely to attempt suicide than other youth, and may account for 30% of all completed suicides among teens.+ 46% of students identified as GLB had attempted suicide in the past year, compared to 8.8% of their peers.^ 24% of GLB youth report getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.^
Sources *Report of the Massachusetts Governor's Commission on Gay and Lesbian Youth, 1993 #D'Augelli & Hershberger, "Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Youth in Community Settings," American Journal of Community Psychology, 21:421, 1993. +Report of the Secretary's Task Force on Youth Suicide, US Dept. of Health and Human Services, 1989. ^Massachusetts Youth Risk Behavior Survey, Massachusetts Dept. of Education, 1997. Myths about GLBT folks
1. 2. 3. 4. They are easy to identify. All lesbians are either butch or femme. Women become lesbians because of negative sexual experiences with men. Openly gay teachers, professors, professionals, and other role models are dangerous because they will try to recruit people. 5. GLBT people want to lower the age of consent for sexual activity so they can have access to young children and try to convert them. 6. Gay men tend to be pedophiles and molest children. 7. GLBT folks can't & don't have long-term relationships
Films to see:
"Trembling Before G-d" "Desert Hearts" "The Celluloid Closet" "The Children's Hour" "Longtime Companion" "Gods and Monsters" "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" "Boys Don't Cry"
Sexual Identity 10.16 Quickly, without thinking, list 10 words about Women. And then 10 words about Men. Now list 10 words that come to mind about Sexy. What are the qualities you would like in a short-term lover?
How about someone for the long term? What would you say is your best quality as a lover? About porn. Good? Bad? What do you think? When it comes to sex, what are some things people should feel guilty about? What's your opinion of chastity? Under what circumstances would you practice it? When is honesty not the best policy? Choose 5 factors you Want in your sexual relationship, rank order 1-5 (1=most important). Choose 5 factors you Don't Want and rank-order them. 1. Age 2. Attraction 3. Commitment 4. Companionship 5. Consideration 6. Contraception 7. Dependence 8. Equality 9. Expectations 10. Feeling at ease 11. Honesty 12. Interdependence 13. Jealousy 14. Love 15. Openness 16. Possessiveness 17. Same race 18. Reciprocity 19. Religion 20. Respect 21. Security 22. Trust 23. Experimentation 24. Pressure 25. Dominance 26. Communication 27. Variety 28. Frequency 29. Appearance 30. Humor 31. Intelligence 32. Experience 33. Virginity
Dating
How & where do you meet people?
The decision to become sexual The decision to be celibate How much history do you share?
Textbook author: over 88% of students she asked had engaged in a hookup.
98% said they'd had a "really good" hookup. 78% said they'd also had a "bad" hookup.
How would you feel about dating:
Someone of the same gender Someone of a different race Someone of a different religion Someone much younger than yourself? Much older? Housemates Someone who is in another relationship Someone with kids
Look on BBC America for "Love Me, Love My Doll" Or consider objectophilia, defined as "falling in love with objects rather than people." Later this semester we'll talk about the paraphilias, a word that comes from the Greek.
Sexual Identity: What is it?
In general when we use the word sex, we are referring to the physical. Gender refers to the sociocultural phenomena often associated with members of a given sex. We are all familiar with gender roles and expectations: What does it mean to be feminine? What does it mean to be masculine? We have been talking about numerous aspects of your sexual identity, from where you first learned about sex, to your sexual values, to your anatomy. We have argued that you are constantly shaping and defining your sexual identity, consciously or not. Sexual Identity:
The degree to which we identify with the social and biological aspects of being a man or a woman. To whom are you romantically and sexually attracted? How do you characterize yourself as a sexual being? Sexual orientation is a big component.
Heterosexual and homosexual, in their original usage, both meant a sexuality that was out of control. Kinsey wasn't the first to believe that sexual orientation exists on a continuum. Freud believed humans possess polymorphous perversity - that before we are socialized, we are able to obtain pleasure from all parts of the body.
Consider Clelia Mosher's question, "What do you believe to be the true purpose of intercourse?" (Mosher lived from 1863-1940 and was the first researcher to ask Americans about their sexual behavior.) From Jack Morin, The Erotic Mind Eroticism is the process through which sex becomes meaningful...the interplay of sexual arousal with the challenges of living and loving. It is most helpful if you can tolerate and even embrace the paradoxes of sexuality. Peak Erotic Experiences: "Unforgettable turn-ons are windows into your erotic mind." Morin asks you to write about the following: 1. Think back over all your sexual encounters with other people. Allow your mind to focus on two specific encounters that were among the most arousing of your entire life. Describe each of them in as much detail as you wish. 2. What are your ideas about what made each of these encounters so exciting? He also recommends keeping a journal of eroticism, and exploring your favorite fantasies.
SES & SIS & Your Erotic Imagination
Look up the work of Bancroft & Janssen. Sexual arousal requires a balance of excitatory and inhibitory responses. Personality ("hard-wiring"); psychology; past experience; attitudes & beliefs - all these contribute to vast individual differences. While much attention has been paid to excitatory systems (SES), much less has been paid to inhibitory systems (SIS). Physiological and otherwise. SES includes arousal stemming from social interactions, visual stimuli, fantasies, and nonsexual situations. When an attractive person flirts with me, I easily become sexually aroused. When I see others engaged in sexual activity, I feel like having sex. SIS1 focuses on inhibition due to performance failure. I am afraid I might lose my erection. I doubt I'm going to be able to come. SIS2 on inhibition due to potential consequences of sex. We could get caught. I could catch some STD. Janssen and friends identify four adaptive purposes for inhibition of sexual response: 1. When the sexual situation contains a threat. 2. When there is a nonsexual threat that demands focused attention. 3. When repeated sexual activity & ejaculation in a short period of time results in impaired fertility and/or distraction from other tasks. 4. When chronic stress results in suppression of reproductive behavior. Researchers such as Carpenter (2008) suggest that the SIS/SES scale needs to be finetuned for women to include emotional disconnectedness. e.g. "If, while having sex, I feel that my partner is not paying attention to me, I have difficulty
staying aroused." and "When I feel angry with my partner, I am not likely to become sexually aroused."
Morin: Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement
The 4 Corners of Eroticism The pleasures of love are always in proportion to the fear, Stendahl. 1. Longing and Anticipation o longing and fantasy o short-term longing (flirting works because there is an awareness of distance) o teasing and anticipation o longing and fulfillment 2. Violating Prohibitions o "the thrill of naughtiness is ageless and timeless" o the risk of discovery o forbidden fruit o pushing the boundaries in fantasy 3. Searching for Power o making the most of powerlessness o paradoxes of power: o a forceful partner demonstrates with his or her passion the value and desirability of the one who submits...a submissive partner demonstrates through his or her surrender the irresistible erotic powers of the aggressor. Both top and bottom feel strong and affirmed. Ultimately, control resides with neither alone, because the energy is generated by their interaction," (p. 97). o power and responsibility o symbols of power o establishing safety 4. Overcoming Ambivalence o from ambivalence to passion (initial reluctance) o ambivalent attractions o overcoming ambivalence through fantasy o the ambivalence of loving
Morin's "Emotional Aphrodisiacs"
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
Exuberance (joy, celebration, surprise, freedom, euphoria, pride) Satisfaction (contentment, happiness, relaxation, security) Closeness (love, tenderness, affection, connection, unity, appreciation) Anxiety (fear, vulnerability, weakness, worry, nervousness) Guilt (remorse, naughtiness, dirtiness, shame) Anger (hostility, contempt, hatred, resentment, revenge)
Adult Sexual Relationships - October 17th 2012
Introduction
Define "adult" Your values, expectations, experience Your sexual orientation Physical, psychological, emotional, relational Your tolerance for complexity, empathy, generosity, honesty Communication Disappointment & how you handle it Impulses and how you express & control them Commitment & fidelity decisions Contraception STI risks
Dating
How & where do you meet people? The decision to become sexual The decision to be celibate How much history do you share?
Hookups
According to the textbook author: Over 88% of students she asked had engaged in a hookup. 98% said they'd had a "really good" hookup. 78% said they'd also had a "bad" hookup.
Controversial (?) Dating
Same gender Different races Mixed religions Age gaps
Housemates Seeing someone who is in another relationship
Friends with Benefits
This can work very well with two people who know themselves and know exactly what the "rules" are for this relationship. Possible snags include: Jealousy; Loss of friendship; How does it feel when your friend finds a Lover? Emotional imbalance - one of you is in love, the other isn't; Fantasy: I can change this into something else.
Singlehood
Since 1970, the proportion of USA people staying single into their 20's & 30's has more than doubled. Education & Career Avoiding risk of divorce Less social stigma for staying single Haven't found Mr/Ms "Right"
41% of men said they would settle for a less-than perfect mate; only 34% of women said they would, according to a 2000 CNN poll.
Cohabitation
40% of US couples 90% of married Swedes had done so 80% of married Danes had done so Cohabiting partners 2X more likely to be of different races than married partners. Half of all cohabiting couples break up within 1 year. Those who marry are more likely to divorce.
Your reasons for living together & reasons for marrying may be major factors here.
Marriage
25 & 27 the average age for US women & men
Happiness Factors
Shared activities (fun) Clear finances Satisfying sex life Shared life goals Emotional support High rewards, lower costs Both partners have a good attitude toward the marriage
Having Children
A joy & a challenge What becomes of passion? What becomes of the couple?
Infidelity
90% claim it is due to unmet emotional needs
Polyamory
About 3 million US couples. It works, or not.
Arranged marriages
Still in India, Africa, parts of South America, China, etc.
Divorce
Eye-rolling A sign relationship is bad and one of the number one things that may lead to divorce.
Internet World
Good-quality information available for teens on up: www.sexetc.org Facebook, etc. - a good idea, or as one student wrote, Facebook has taken a lot of the intimacy and privacy out of relationships among young people today. Is there anything young people do privately any more? Internet dating, from Craig's list to E-Harmony Sex toys: blowfish.com Xandria.com
Look up the history of the vibrator on slate.com
Sex Appeal
Quotes from Sex Appeal: the art and science of sexual attraction, by Kate & Douglas Botting Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. Sophia Loren The plainest person can look beautiful, can be beautiful. It only needs the fire of sex to rise delicately to change an ugly face to a lovely one. That is really sex appeal: the communicating of a sense of beauty. D. H. Lawrence A well-fed stomach and a naked body breed lust in a man. Chinese proverb Some people get a sense of smug superiority by claiming how many orgasms they either had or "gave" a partner. They confuse sex with pinball. Some people use pleasure-giving as a way of controlling a partner. They might hardly come at all while making sure that their partner comes several times. While this might not sound like such a bad problem to have, keep in mind that partners who won't surrender the reins sexually are sometimes very controlling in other aspects of life as well.
The Guide to Getting It On
The 4 Corners of Eroticism (J. Morin): The pleasures of love are always in proportion to the fear. Stendahl
1. Longing and Anticipation o longing and fantasy o short-term longing (flirting works because there is an awareness of distance) o teasing and anticipation o longing and fulfillment 2. Violating Prohibitions002+ o "the thrill of naughtiness is ageless and timeless" o the risk of discovery
o forbidden fruit o pushing the boundaries in fantasy 3. Searching for Power o making the most of powerlessness o paradoxes of power o "a forceful partner demonstrates with his or her passion the value and desirability of the one who submits...a submissive partner demonstrates through his or her surrender the irresistible erotic powers of the aggressor. Both top and bottom feel strong and affirmed. Ultimately, control resides with neither alone, because the energy is generated by their interaction," (p. 97). o power and responsibility o symbols of power o establishing safety 4. Overcoming Ambivalence o from ambivalence to passion (initial reluctance) o ambivalent attractions o overcoming ambivalence through fantasy o the ambivalence of loving
Historical Sex
The desire for intercourse is the genius of the genus. Schopenhauer Sexual pleasure, in short, must evolve as a stimulus for reproduction. Stephen J Gould Women on average eject roughly 35% of the sperm within thirty minutes of the time of insemination. If the woman has an orgasm, however, she retains 70% of the sperm. David Buss Let his left hand be under my head and his right hand embrace me. Song of Solomon When any one of you has sex with his wife. then he should not go to her like birds; instead you should be slow and delaying.Mohammed Ancient Hindus of India: sexual pleasure as a spiritual ideal, a spiritual duty. From 5th Century on, temples displayed gods, nymphs, & mortals in pursuit of sexual pleasure The famous Kama Sutra seems to have been around since between 300-500 A.D.
"Kama Sutra" - "Aphorisms on Love"
One part of extensive guidelines for a good life and spiritual progress. Hinduism the predominant religion. FOUR AIMS in life: dharma - satisfying the religious, social, and moral obligations that defined correct behavior artha - material well-being karma - pleasure and love, desire, affection, lust, sensual pleasure moksa -release from the cycle of rebirth
Your focus was to try to improve your own karma. Sexual fulfillment could improve your karma. Since about 1000 A.D., Indian society has become more restrictive about sexuality.
Celibacy
A long history: purity unattainability self-denial: no pleasure closer to God contraception women focusing on female power women's duty: to be virgins courtly love do not act upon same-sex longings
"Power virginity:" True Love Waits "Passionate Celibacy" (Sally Cline): refuse the mass-market sex hype and become powerfully autonomous in your sexual choices. Break the mold.
1. Define your terms. Complete? Partial? How long?
Some believe masturbation is part of celibacy; some say you can't be celibate if you practice anything sexual at all. o Celibacy isn't necessarily for life. 2. Consider your motives: o Religious devotion (nuns, priests) o Religious/moral (no sex before marriage) o Disease/pregnancy avoidance o Negative past relationship experiences o More time/energy to focus on self o Priorities elsewhere (school, career, etc.) o Recovering from addictions o To learn about sexual feelings without acting on them o To develop relationships not complicated by sexuality o Life circumstances (i.e., none available) o Learning to overcome things like jealousy, abandonment, etc. NHSLS, 1994: 4% of men, 14% of women report they rarely or never think about sex. Or are you avoiding sex? Unhappy relationship Angry withholding Unresolved sexual conflicts, fears Guilt, shame Problems with the emotional aspects Confused about sexual orientation o
Possible down sides of celibacy: Loneliness Worry about what others think Ends relationships before they begin Getting back into sex might be scary
"Address the secular argument that sex should wait until marriage."
Secular = non-religious Pragmatic reasons (avoid pregnancy, STI's) Emotional reasons (guilt, self-esteem, preserving the specialness, fear, whatever) Biological reasons (Mom's baby, Dad's maybe) Marriage provides a legal, social, and emotional framework for working things through with another person, rather than the possibility that you can just cut & run. So it can be a safer place for sex, for many people.
The Ultimate Sex Book
Check out Anne Hooper's The Ultimate Sex Book.
1. Knowing and enjoying your sexual self. Becoming more sexual and sensual. The image you project. Touch. Dress. Smell. Your voice.
2. Explore the meaning of sex for you. Learning and demonstrating what you like. Communication. 3. Examining your glitches:
What are their origins? What functions have they served so far? What do you want to do about them now? Overcoming inhibitions. Developing an internal image of what you want to be like, sexually. Mental rehearsals. Improving technique o Becoming a better lover. Asking. Listening. Trying. "Do you like this? Or is it better like this?" Mapping. o Addressing relationship problems o Taking pleasure to the next level: your fantasies. o Spontaneity, games-with-purpose o Games for fun and variety Sex during pregnancy Safer sex Rekindling desire Recovering from rejection Toys and other aids o o o o
4.
5. 6. 7. 8. 9.
Love October 22nd 2012
Valentine's Day
Saint Valentine: A Christian bishop martyred in Rome on February 24, 270 Valentine's Day modeled after a pagan holiday - as early as 4th century BC, Roman men participated in rite of passage to god Lupercus: a lottery for teenage virgin girls. She'd be your girl for the year. Christians turned to Valentine, who'd married young lover in secret because the emperor needed soldiers but thought it wasn't good for soldiers to be married. In trouble with the emperor, Valentine refused to renounce his Christianity. He was beaten and stoned to death for it. In 496 AD, the pope outlawed the pagan festival but ok'd the lottery. Only now, you'd draw for the name of a saint and try your best to be like that saint throughout the coming year.
1415: oldest Valentine card we still have, sent by Charles, duke of Orleans, to his wife in prison in the Tower of London. Cupid & his arrow.
Love: What is it???? Attachment, Caring, Intimacy
From the classical Greek: Storge: Loving attachment & nonsexual affection (parent-child, friends, etc.) Agape: Selfless love; generosity, charity, selfless giving (research shows that this is the least frequently seen type of love between adults in committed relationships) Philia: Friendship love, based on liking and respect. Desire to see & do things with that person, or be with them when you feel lonely or bored Ludus: Love as a game. It's all about the seduction, the conquest. You can juggle a number of lovers at the same time. Think Don Juan. Eros: Closest to our idea of Passion. (Eros would shoot unsuspecting people with his love arrows, causing them to fall in love with whomever was right close to them at the time) Passionate Love: State of extreme absorption in another person. Also, heat. "Rose-colored glasses" One survey showed over 80% of college students believed romantic love is necessary for successful marriage. Over 50% believed falling out of love was grounds for divorce.
Falling in Love
2 Pheromones activate the brain directly above the nasal cavity. They are produced by glands in the armpits and pubis. Signaling Pheromones act quickly to alter behavior. Priming Pheromones control hormone and neurotransmitter production in various parts of the brain. Sweat Glands give off proteins; Bacteria feed off the proteins and give off 2 Steroids which are chemically close to testosterone. These steroids make us smell good to each other. Pheromone Release can trigger PEA: Phenylethylamine (PEA) seems to be the neurotransmitter of choice here. Produces euphoria, giddiness, and elation. Sort of like an amphetamine. Other Endorphins are also implicated. But WHO??? Proximity Mere exposure effect:the more you see someone the likelier you are to fall in love with them Similarity Reciprocity Physical attractiveness
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love
3 Components: (IMPORTANT!) 1. Passion: motivation that fuels romance, attraction, and desire
2.Intimacy: sense of bondedness, warmth, sharing, and closeness 3.Commitment:conscious decision to love and maintain relationship Passion builds, intensifies, then fades; Intimacy & Commitment continue to build. Presence or absence of the 3 components account for variations in different types of love relationships. Intimacy & Commitment seem to be strong predictors of relationship stability. One definition of Commitment 1. We stay together no matter how we feel about each other at a given moment. 2. We make NO major decisions without talking them over first. 3. We do NOTHING without considering its impact on the other person. Trust?
The Development of Intimacy
1. Self-love 2. Phases of Relationship a. Inclusion (1st step): the invitation to relate From "hello" to good-morning hug, kiss Inclusion happens throughout a relationship. b. Response: how we reply to a gesture of inclusion. Eye contact? Smile? No response? c. Care: genuine concern for another person's well-being. A huge motivating factor. d. Trust: crucial. You trust that your partner has genuine care for you and will act accordingly. e. Affection: physical, verbal, non-verbal. f. Playfulness: delight & pleasure in each other. g. Genitality: A Big Decision. Sex + Love = ??????? BABY... Does sex enhance intimacy? Do men and women have different views of sex and love? Do straight people view love differently from the way GLBT people do? (patterns seem more related to gender-role trends throughout our culture, rather than to sexual orientation) Same-Gender Couples Do you believe gay, lesbian, bisexual relationships are less satisfying and/or less loving than straight relationships? The data don't support this. But... We bring our gender with us. Machismo? Some Latin-American cultures, for example, still see male-to-male sex as ok as long as you are the penetrater, not the penetrated. Gay men, like many men in our culture, are more likely to separate sex and love than women are. They value love, but they also value sex as an end in itself. Therefore, gay men may negotiate "fidelity" differently. They may not prohibit sexual encounters outside the relationship, but keeping the commitment (whatever form it takes) seems to matter very much. Sex outside the relationship may not mean that love or sex is missing from the relationship (Demian, 1994).
Jealousy
"An aversive emotional reaction evoked by a real or imagined relationship involving one's partner and a third person" (Buunk & Bringle, 1987) Other factors: Injured pride Fear of loss Need to possess/control Insecurity Our reactions to the qualities of the "rival" -Our own opinion of ourselves: how secure and confident are we?
People who place high value on such traits as wealth, fame, popularity, and physical attractiveness tend to be more jealous. Jealousy can be a major factor in relationship violence. Women are more likely than men to admit they are jealous. Women are more likely to be jealous of the emotional aspects of the other relationship; Men focus on the fact that their woman is having sex with someone else. Women tend to blame themselves when a conflict based on jealousy occurs; men blame their partner or the third party. Women are more inclined than men to deliberately invoke jealousy. Men are more likely than women to confront a rival with anger and aggression.
Intimacy: One Model
Picture this as a pyramid, with the base "strangers" (that's where most of the people on the planet reside) Committed Intimate Romantic Relationship Close Friend Friend Acquaintance Strangers
Strangers We don't know about each other, But we know exactly how to treat each other. We share the world, the freeway, the sidewalk and that's all. No names, no addresses, no phone numbers, etc. Acquaintances We exchange names. Maybe a conversation with shared information. Perhaps a common interest, perhaps we know a mutual friend. Friends We hang around together. We find more shared interests. We exchange some intimate information with each other. Close Friends Develops over time. Sexuality may enter the picture. We have a good foundation to move toward a romantic relationship.
Romantic Relationship Sexual attraction. Rose-colored glasses? Relationship still depends on how you feel about each other. Infatuation can happen here - will it grow? Committed Intimates Common values, common goals which are Mutual and Interdependent. Decision to continue with this person in pursuit of important life goals. Commitment is Independent of how you may feel about each other at a given moment. Obstacles & problems here: Lack of mutuality re: goals Don't match on important values Major change in one partner around an important value Emphasizing sex over friendship & trust No trust means Anxiety
LOVE: Hot Off the Press (October 2006) Norman Li, "an evolutionary psychologist and assistant prof in the Dept of Psychology" says: It's all in the budget. Trade-offs and cost-benefit analyses. What you have to offer vs. what you hope to find - your spreadsheet must balance. Your own qualities determine your budget. (Most of us live on a rather limited budget... ) If you think of the characteristics you want in a mate, and you can place those characteristics on a scale of 1-10, you cannot get a 10 on everything! Now, about "real" money: Blanchflower & Oswald (2004) 16,000 American adults who had participated in a number of social surveys since the early 1990's. Respondents simply reported how happy they believe themselves to be on a number of scales. What's it worth? Increasing frequency of intercourse from one a month to at least once a week: $50,000. A lasting marriage: $100,000 per year. (Meaning, on average, a single person would need to receive 100K a year to be as happy as a married person with the same education, job status, etc.) Divorce costs: $66,000 a year. Bottom line: A greater income doesn't buy you more sex, nor more partners. Married people report they are happier than their single peers.
Sexual Arousal October 24th 2012
Setting the Scene for Arousal
Time of day? Place? Smells? Sounds? c Talk? No talk? Quickie? All the time in the world? What's going to do it for you?
Sexual Arousal
Direct genital stimulation produces physical arousal without much brain involvement (we knew that). Other senses take erotic input upstairs; cells fire in the cerebral cortex; input is translated: "turn-on" or "turn-off". Cells in the cerebral cortex transmit messages via the spinal cord that send blood rushing to the genitals causing erection or lubrication. Cerebral Cortex Our sense of "self" resides here, too, and judges what we are doing as right or wrong. See where confusion can occur Subcortex includes cerebellum (regulates body movements), medulla oblongata ("breathin' & beatin') the pons (regulates sleep cycle) and the diencephalon (numerous functions, including regulation of emotions): thalamus and hypothalamus.
Thalamus relays sensory info to cortex Hypothalamus primary activator of the ANS (autonomic nervous system) Limbic System the "seat of emotions" (memory, regulation of hunger, aggression, and sexual behavior) is also directly involved in erection and ejaculation, though we're not entirely sure how Electrical stimulation in limbic system of non-humans can trigger sexual behaviors (mounting, masturbation, erection, even ejaculation without erection).
RAS (Reticular Activating System) A network of nerves that carries messages perceived by higher awareness systems out to the limbs, and conversely. Thus, something we see or smell or feel can result in physiological arousal.
SES & SIS & Your Erotic Imagination
Look up the work of Bancroft & Janssen. Sexual arousal requires a balance of excitatory and inhibitory responses. Personality ("hard-wiring"); psychology; past experience; attitudes & beliefs - all these contribute to vast individual differences. While much attention has been paid to excitatory systems (SES), much less has been paid to inhibitory systems (SIS). Physiological and otherwise. SES includes arousal stemming from social interactions, visual stimuli, fantasies, and nonsexual situations. When an attractive person flirts with me, I easily become sexually aroused. When I see others engaged in sexual activity, I feel like having sex. SIS1 focuses on inhibition due to performance failure.
I am afraid I might lose my erection. I doubt I'm going to be able to come. SIS2 on inhibition due to potential consequences of sex. We could get caught. I could catch some STD. Janssen and friends identify four adaptive purposes for inhibition of sexual response: 1. When the sexual situation contains a threat. 2. When there is a nonsexual threat that demands focused attention. 3. When repeated sexual activity & ejaculation in a short period of time results in impaired fertility and/or distraction from other tasks. 4. When chronic stress results in suppression of reproductive behavior. Researchers such as Carpenter (2008) suggest that the SIS/SES scale needs to be fine-tuned for women to include emotional disconnectedness. If, while having sex, I feel that my partner is not paying attention to me, I have difficulty staying aroused. When I feel angry with my partner, I am not likely to become sexually aroused." Barlow, et al. studied the relationship between anxiety and sexual arousal in men (remember the study in which they threatened men with an electrical shock if they didn't become erect?) and found: Men with no history of sexual problems:(were fine) o Focused on the erotic scene and had no trouble becoming aroused. o Seem less fazed by episodes in which they don't get an erection when they want one. Men with a history of sexual problems:(were not fine/couldn’t get it up) o Were so focused on the negative outcome that they couldn't process the erotic cues. o Tend to be less aware of how aroused they are. o Worry that every episode of no-erection is a sign of a long-term problem.
Dr. Cindy Meston (UT Austin) studies women's arousal and how it is different from men's. Examples: In males, there is a very high correlation between erectile response and how aroused they say they are, while in women there are low, if any correlations. This no longer seems to be due to women not talking honestly about their sexuality. Nor does it seem likely to be because women are turned off by erotic films. Researchers just aren't sure. Are erections just more obvious than clitoral response? Are men just more attentive than women to the very fact that they are sexually aroused?
Oxytocin a "feel-good" hormone that facilitates bonding in a number of species. In humans, oxytocin is released during orgasm. It also stimulates labor contractions and milk ejection during lactation. Can intense emotion cause oxytocin to be released? Turner, et al., 1999 asked women to recall and re-experience a past relationship event that caused them to feel a positive emotion, and one associated with a negative emotion. Subjects also received a 15minute Swedish massage of neck & shoulders. Results? Massage caused slight elevation in oxytocin. Recalling negative emotions caused oxytocin to fall slightly. Recalling positive emotion had no effect.
The surprise?
How variable the women were! Some showed substantial oxytocin-level changes, some hardly any.
Women whose oxytocin levels rose in response to massage & positive memories: Reported little difficulty in setting appropriate boundaries, being alone, and trying too hard to please others. Were more likely to be currently involved in a committed relationship.
Women whose oxytocin levels fell with negative memories: Reported greater problems with anxiety in close relationships.
Testosterone the basic fuel for the sex drive, in both genders. "attached" testosterone is bound to a protein molecule and doesn't do much. (95% in males, 9799% in females) "free" testosterone is metabolically active and affects libido.
Normal ranges of total testosterone: Males: 300-1200 ng/dl Females: 20-50 ng/dl
(that's nanograms per deciliter in the blood) Normal ranges of free testosterone: Males: 1.0-5.0 ng/dl Females: 0.1-0.5 ng/dl
Pheromones chemical substances secreted externally by certain animals, which convey information to or produce specific responses in other members of the same species. (From the Greek pherien, meaning "to bear [a message]," and hormone) Certain orchids emit pheromones that resemble those of female bees. Males attempt to mate with the orchids,- thereby picking up and transferring pollen - helping the orchid reproduce.
Antiandrogens drugs that drastically reduce the amount of testosterone in the bloodstream. Used in Europe to treat sex offenders. One example of an antiandrogen: medroxyprogesterone acetate (MPA) also known as DepoProvera.
Sex Hormones
Hormone Substance secreted by an endocrine gland which regulates various bodily functions. Androgens male sex hormones, eg testosterone Some comes from Adrenal Glands (in both males and females) Most from testes, some from ovaries
Female Sex Hormones estrogen, progesterone Most come from the ovaries A little from the testes
At puberty, sex hormones trigger development of Secondary Sex Characteristics. Sex Hormones both activate and organize our behavior. Activating - How frequently and/or intensely we engage in a behavior. Organizing - what types of behavior we express.
Erogenous Zones
Body parts especially sensitive to tactile, sexual stimulation.
Primary Erogenous Zones
Richly endowed with nerve endings: Genitals Perineum Anus Inner Thighs Breasts Buttocks Ears Mouth Lips Tongue Navel Armpits
Degree and intensity of pleasure vary for different individuals.
Secondary Erogenous Zones
Body parts that have become eroticized via experience:
Shoulders Back Feet etc
Masters & Johnson: Phases of the Sexual Response Cycle
Excitement Plateau Orgasm Resolution
Excitement
Female Male
Vaginal lubrication begins (transudation) Inner 2/3 of vagina expands (tenting) Color of vaginal wall darkens Labia majora flatten & move back from vaginal opening Labia minora thicken Clitoris enlarges Cervix & uterus move upward Nipples become erect Breast size increases moderately Sex flush may appear Heart rate & b.p. increase General neuromuscular tension increases
Erection begins (tumescence) Scrotum begins to thicken, scrotal folds disappear Testes begin to elevate Nipples may become erect Heart rate & b.p. increase General neuromuscular tension increases
Plateau
Female Male
Vaginal lubrication continues, but may wax & wane Orgasmic platform forms @ outer 1/3 of
Rigidity of erection increases Head of penis enlarges modestly Testes enlarge & pull up closer to body
vagina Cervix & uterus elevate further Inner 2/3 of vagina lengthens & expands further Clitoris retracts within hood Labia swell more & change color Sex flush intensifies & spreads Breasts & areolae swell further Heart rate & b.p. increase further Breathing may become more shallow & rapid Further increase in neuromuscular tension Visual & auditory acuity diminish
Preejaculatory fluid may appear Sex flush (in 25% of males) Heart rate, b.p. increase further Breathing may become more shallow & rapid Further increase in neuromuscular tension Visual & auditory acuity diminish
Orgasm
Female Male
Pelvic vasocongestion reaches a peak, setting off a reflex in surrounding muscles. Onset of powerful involuntary rhythmic contractions of orgasmic platform & uterus. The trapped blood is expelled from surrounding tissues. Voila! Sex flush, if present, reaches maximum color & spread Involuntary contractions of rectal sphincter Peak heart rates, b.p., and respiratory rates General loss of voluntary muscle control; may be cramplike spasms of muscle groups in face, hands, and feet
Onset of powerful involuntary rhythmic contractions of the prostate, seminal vesicles, rectum, and penis Ejaculation occurs shortly after prostatic contractions begin Testes pull tightly against the body Peak heart rates, b.p., and respiratory rates General loss of voluntary muscle control; may be cramplike spasms of muscle groups in the face, hands, and feet
Resolution
Female Male
Clitoris returns to normal position w/in 5-10 seconds after orgasm Orgasmic platform disappears Labia return to normal thickness,
Rapid loss of most of penile erection, followed by slower return to normal size (detumescence) Testes drop to normal position & size Scrotum loosens & scrotal folds reappear
position, & color Vagina returns to resting size quickly; return to resting color may take up to 15 minutes Uterus & cervix descend to their normal unstimulated position Areolae return to normal size quickly; nipple erection disappears more slowly Rapid disappearance of sex flush Irregular neuromuscular tension may continue as shown by involuntary twitches or contractions of isolated muscle groups Heart rate, b.p., respiration return to normal levels General sense of relaxation is usually prominent Visual and auditory acuity return to pre-stimulation levels
Refractory period occurs during which another episode of ejaculation is not possible (duration of refractory period is highly variable, generally being shorter in younger males) Loss of nipple erection Rapid disappearance of sex flush Irregular neuromuscular tension may continue, as shown by involuntary twitches or contractions of isolated muscle groups Heart rate, respiratory rate, & b.p. return to baseline levels General sense of relaxation is usually prominent Visual 7 auditory acuity return to usual levels
Orgasm
Lack of orgasm following high levels of arousal may dramatically slow resolution. Sex organs may remain congested with blood, producing pressure which can lead to discomfort. Masters & Johnson describe Orgasm: The body discharges its accumulated sexual tension in a peak of sexual arousal Rhythmic muscular contractions produce intense physical sensations followed by rapid relaxation Intensity and sensations can vary across individuals and your own sexual encounters.
Energy/Fatigue levels Time since last orgasm Mood Relationship to your sex partner Expectations How you feel about the experience
A total body response, not just a pelvic event
Women
In some surveys, 40-50% of women have reported regularly having orgasms during intercourse. Orgasm begins with "a momentary sense of suspension," then intense pleasure starting at the clitoris and spreading through the pelvis. "Warm" "Electric" "Tingly" "Pelvic throbbing"
Men
Orgasm begins with "deep warmth or pressure (sometimes throbbing)," which goes along with ejaculatory inevitability. Sharp, intensely pleasurable contractions involving the anal sphincter, rectum, perineum, and genitals," often described as a sensation of pumping. A warm rush of fluid, a shooting sensation (ejaculation)
Kaplan's 3-Stage Model of Sexual Arousal
1. Desire o Is it low? absent? overwhelming? o Is your level of desire a "good fit" with your partner's? o This is the #1 area of complaint. In clinical work, most people present with problems in this stage. o This stage is often psychological, emotional, and/or relational, areas which Masters & Johnson did not emphasize. 2. Excitement o Erection, lubrication, vasoconstriction 3. Orgasm Masters & Johnson's stages are successive and invariant. Kaplan: Stages may vary in sequence; may not all occur every time (eg. you can be excited, even reach orgasm, without much DESIRE)
David Reed's ESP Model
(Erotic Stimulus Pathway)
Seduction Sensation Surrender Reflection
Singer (1972)
3 types of female orgasm: 1. vulval
o o o 2. uterine o o
like Masters & Johnson's Accompanied by contractions of the orgasmic platform Typically not followed by refractory period occurs only as a result of vaginal penetration Characterized by holding breath as orgasm approaches and exhaling explosively at climax. Often followed by profound relaxation, sexual satiation, and refractory period.
o 3. blended o combines 1 and 2
Why do men fall asleep?
Ejaculation seems to trigger a neurological shut-down in chemical pathways between the midbrain and the hypothalamus - pathways we know are implicated in sleep. Some people think it's connected with loss of seminal fluid, but there's no known substance in semen or sperm to trigger the above neural phenomenon. In evolutionary terms, maybe it's best he goes right to sleep while she goes on to another sperm donor. The more sperm, the greater likelihood of conception. The more sperm, the more sperm-wars will occur, promoting Selection of the Fittest.
The Advantages of Furry Life
"This is your chance," he yells over the music, "to just go wild and crazy. No one is going to judge you here!" Sex and the Single Squirrel Furrie: one's best and truest self can be expressed only through an animal alter-ego. How do we think of animal sex? Natural, uninhibited, unselfconscious. Spontaneous, fevered, urgent.
Or is your animal identity Sweet, tender, affectionate? Delicate, slow, luxurious?
One reason why we think about furrie life is in reference to one aspect of your erotic mind: how do we overcome our sexual inhibitions? October 29th 2012
Sexual Dysfunction
Sexual inhibitions: conscious or unconscious limits on your sexual expression, enjoyment, or functioning. In our culture, it's almost easier to be inhibited than not. What aspects of your experience, awareness, or attitudes contribute to any sexual inhibitions you may have?
What positive purpose have your inhibitions served? Which inhibitions would you like to conquer? What would be the down side of overcoming your inhibitions? Overcoming inhibitions can take time and patience. Cognitive-behavioral psychology: you cannot be both tense and relaxed at the same time. Therefore, you aim to increase your level of relaxation when exposed to things that have been making you tense. ("Systematic desensitization") Sexualities and sexual experiences are produced, changed, and modified within an ever-changing sexual discourse. Tiefer, from Foucault Sexuality as a script: 1. emerges within relationships and situations according to participants' expectations; 2. needs to be constructed rather than controlled; 3. is available to satisfy needs for affection, protection and gender-affirmation. Recall Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan's 3 Stages of Sexual Response: Desire Excitement Orgasm low or absent erection / lubrication premature / inorgasmic
Mostly physical or psychological? Situational? Lifelong? Biological? Generalized? Acquired? Neurological? Psychological? Conflict? Anxiety?
Causes of Sexual Dysfunctions
Organic - hormonal, vascular (blood flow), chemical (from neurotransmitters to too much beer) , neurological; diabetes (vascular) prostate surgery (nerve damage) syphilis (damages spinal cord) MS (damages myelin sheath) kidney disease, hypertension, cancer, emphysema, heart disease, endocrine/testosterone problems; low nitric oxide (nitric oxide comes in contact with muscles surrounding the penile and clitoral blood vessels, allowing vasocongestion) - can be treated with injections to penis (people with clitorises probably less likely to sign up for such treatment)
Hormonal? Vascular? Medications? (b.p. meds, antidepressants, antianxiety meds) Erectile dysfunction ("Ed"): Can't get or keep erection. Do your NPT test (nocturnal penile tumescence).
Premature or delayed ejaculationTreatments: Psychological/Relational Pharmacological (Viagra, etc.) Hormonal Intracavernous Vacuum constriction (don't forget the EROS-CTD) Surgical implants
Female sexual arousal "disorder" or orgasmic "disorder" What are we calling a "disorder?" Are your supposed to summon an erection at will? Is the only "successful" sex orgasmic? HSD: Hypoactive Sexual Desire: up to 33% of women and 16% of men, in some studies. Sexual Aversion: some people can be phobic about sex. Sexual Arousal Disorder Orgasmic Disorder
Sexual Pain Disorders
1. Dyspareunia o painful intercourse. One of the most common sexual complaints. o #1 cause in women: inadequate lubrication o also may be caused by: infections, STIs, allergies, endometriosis, PID, structural disorders, deep thrusting. o psychological: unresolved guilt, sexual anxiety, past trauma. o in men: less common, but may occur with the presence of infection or poor hygiene; a foreskin that is too tight (phimosis); peyronie's disease (causes tissue in the penis to harden, creating a painful bend). 2. Vaginismus o involuntary contraction of pelvic muscles surrounding outer third of vagina. o Penetration is painful or impossible. o Results in deep fear of penetration. o Usually psychologically caused: trauma, abuse, history of abortions, vaginal injuries, etc. o Can be a cause or an effect of dyspareunia. 3. Vulvodynia o chronic vulva pain and soreness (ache, burning, stinging, etc.). o Nerve problem? Treated with biofeedback, topical ointments, surgery, pelvic floor strengthening. o Are birth control pills a factor?
Cultural Influences on Sexuality
Negative Childhood Learning
The Sexual Double Standard Narrow Definitions of Sexuality Performance Anxiety Sexual Knowledge & Attitudes Self-Concept Emotional Difficulties Sexual Abuse, Assault Relationship Problems Ineffective Communication Fears of Pregnancy, STI's
Treating Sexual Dysfunction
Egalitarian Ideology: mutual sexual communication and pleasure are important. Nonegalitarian Ideology: heterosexual intercourse is the goal, therefore the male's pleasure is most important. How does your culture view female sexual arousal? As a good thing? Some cultures view sexual problems as having supernatural causes (fate, or the evil eye). In America, treatment is likely to be multimodal. Physical, psychological, emotional. For low or no arousal/erection: Testosterone patches, creams Substances to enhance blood flow - from mentholated rub to the EROS-CTD (recommended by Dr. Ruth) to yohimbine. Viagra. Intracavernous injections. Vacuum constriction devices.
Surgical interventions - revascularization; prosthetics (penile implants). For female inorgasmia - cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy, bibliotherapy, masturbation. For premature ejaculation - cognitive-behavioral therapy, "squeeze" and "stop-start" techniques. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy discover all your thoughts and feelings about sex, including those that spring up while you are in the act. Biofeedback learning to relax.
What a sex therapist might suggest (you will have homework exercises in sexual therapy!)
1. Eliminate intercourse/orgasm o To reduce pressure and fears. This may take place for a week or two at a time. 2. Dealing with the relationship. o Where are the trust problems, the anxieties, the resentments and disappointments? o What role does fear play? o Has there been any infidelity? o What about money, life changes, pregnancy, any stressors? 3. Understand yourself first o sexual hang-ups, doubts, confusions, apprehensions, etc. o Figure out what you need and how to ask for it.
A Gestalt therapist, for instance, might ask you to have various parts of your body speak. Sound weird? o A cognitive-behavioral therapist would have you explore your thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations of what you are observing. o A psychoanalytic therapist would have you explore your past, your feelings toward your parents, your deep feelings and the defenses you use to protect your most vulnerable self. 4. Communication practice o "I-messages" and all the things we discussed during that class. o Setting up safe communication times. o Articulating fears. o Naming your feelings ("This is really embarrassing!") o "Dialoguing," or really "monologuing" - taking turns just saying what is on your mind while your partner just listens without responding. 5. Sensate focus o Non-genital touch o Move toward genitals o Primary erogenous zone touch 6. Moving toward intercourse
o
SEX, DRUGS, ROCK & ROLL
Remember that sexual arousal depends on stimuli from all five senses. Recall that sexual arousal requires adequate arterial inflow. Acetylcholine and nitric oxide are needed for this. Hormones are involved, too. We all need testosterone for sexual arousal. But increased estrogen (in males and females), or an increased estrogen:testosterone proportion decreases libido. High prolactin levels decrease libido directly. Drugs that block dopamine activity increase prolactin and thereby decrease libido. Neurotransmitters: Dopamine :) is a key neurotransmitter in the brain's "pleasure center." Increasing dopaminergic activity increases pleasure; decreasing dopaminergic activity reduces pleasure. Serotonin :( can diminish the release of dopamine, with unhappy consequences as far as sex goes. Substances with anticholinergic properties (they block acetylcholine); selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI's); dopamine-blocking drugs (eg., to treat psychotic symptoms) - these may mess with nitric oxide synthesis. Thereby messing with your arousal. Serotonergic antidepressants are the most common cause of delayed ejaculation and anorgasmia. SSRI's (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), include Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil, Luvox, Lexipro, & Celexa. Decrease libido, inhibit orgasm - perhaps by inhibiting dopamine. (They may prove helpful with premature ejaculation.) Antidepressants such as Welbutrin can enhance dopamine activity. L-DOPA (Wellbutrin, etc.): Increased DOPAMINE can raise sex drive, but can also trigger PRIAPISM (a painful and potentially highly problematic erection that won't go away, the treatment of which may put an end to all erections). Aphrodisiac: any drug or other agent that is sexually arousing or increases sexual desire. (From Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty) Cave drawings: hunters eating parts of their prey to achieve the characteristics of those parts. Many "aphrodisiacs" have been shaped like the desired effect (horns, roots, etc.) A "true aphrodisiac" would produce physiological changes associated with sexual arousal - increased blood flow to genitals, for example. What do they really provide?
Expectancy effect Reduced inhibitions A burst of nutrition/energy Blood flow
Substances to prolong sex might contain scopolamine and/or atropine. (deadly nightshade - belladonna mandrake, jimson weed, cocaine etc.) They block acetylcholine receptors, hindering the parasympathetic system and producing sedative/anaesthetic effects. Spanish Fly: made of crushed dried beetles and contains a crystallized lactone called cantharidin. It burns, among other things. Alcohol A CNS (central nervous system) depressant. First thing to go: your inhibitions. Vasodilation (increased blood flow) throughout the body, meaning less blood flow to your Personal Parts. Can reduce testosterone. Don't forget about Whiskey Dick. From Macbeth: Porter: ...drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things. Macduff: What three things does drink especially provoke? Porter: Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance. Amphetamines (speed, uppers) are CNS stimulants. They reduce inhibitions, elevate mood, and can enhance your sexual feelings and your beliefs about your sexual skills. They may interfere with erection, ejaculation, vaginal lubrication, and orgasm, especially with higher doses or too-frequent use. Amyl Nitrate ("poppers") dilute blood vessels in brain & genitals. Used for a very quick, brief high (picture a mirrored disco ball overhead). The hope is to intensify sexual arousal and orgasm. Can cause dizziness, fainting, bad headaches. Barbiturates (sedatives, downers): slow everything down. May help relax you, thus enhancing sexy feelings at low dose. But can also reduce sexual desire and impair functioning. Benzodiazepines (muscle relaxants): good for slowing down the central nervous system, reducing anxiety, etc. But again, may reduce desire and sexual performance. (Remember that downers produce a "rebound" effect when you reduce their use. All that anxiety comes back and then some. Yikes.) Cocaine: A stimulant. Euphoria. May increase arousal and intensity, and make erections & orgasms easier. Higher doses can make erections & orgasms just about impossible. Very quickly addictive because it feels so good while you are on it and so horrible when you come down. Ecstasy: MDMA: 3,4-methylenedioxy-N-methylamphetamine A subclass of the phenethylamines (remember PEA?) "Entheogenic:" increasing sense of empathy and closeness. The illusion of intimacy. Mixed effects on individual libidos. May increase sensuality, interest in sexuality; and decrease resistance to sexual activity. Implications visaˆ-vis regrettable sex or coercion? May have the typical SSRI effects on performance. Low sex drive, low arousal, erectile dysfunction, orgasm problems. One study found: Desire & satisfaction increased moderately to profoundly in >90% of subjects. Orgasm was delayed but perceived as more intense. Erection was impaired in 40% of males.
Hallucinogens (LSD, mushrooms, psylocibin, etc.) May increase sensory awareness, but can be unpredictable. Direct effects on sexual functioning largely unknown. Marijuana: Potency derives from delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). It's fat soluble, which leads to its long half-life.Stimulates dopamine pathways."Biphasal:" Euphoria, relaxation, sexual arousal, heightened sensations, and sociability. Then it's a depressant.
For some, anxiety, confusion, paranoia, etc. May reduce testosterone, testicle size, and libido. Can result in "Amotivational syndrome" Narcotics: these are CNS depressants and fall into the class of "anaphrodisiacs." Reduce desire as well as functioning. Viagra: originally developed to treat angina (heart pain) because it increases blood flow to the heart a little bit. With Viagra, a sexual turn-on is still needed. The roman physician Galen believed erection occurred because the penis filled up with air or "wind." Galen recommended gas-producing foods to fix erectile dysfunction. Do not try this at home. Papaverine and alprostadil may be injected directly into the penis. Yohimbine: alkaloid derived from bark of an African tree. It acts as an alpha-2 adrenergic antagonist that produces vasodilation by inhibiting normal vasoconstriction in the sympathetic nervous system. Recent studies indicate it may have psychological effects on sexual arousal as well. (Caution: ED is very close to LD!) Anaphrodisiacs: include opiates, tranquilizers, antihypertensives, antidepressants, antipsychotics, nicotine (constricts blood vessels), birth control pills (because of progestin, any substance with a progesterone-like effect), sedatives, ulcer meds, appetite suppressants, steroids, anticonvulsants, allergy medicines, and other medications. Anti-Androgen Drugs ("chemical castration") eg. progesterone can eliminate sex drive. 31 October 2012 : Sexual Coercion Sexual contact without the full, free and equal consent of both parties. Sexual contact which occurs under duress or pressure from one of the parties. Sexual contact in which there is an unequal distribution of power. Sex which entails any type of force, including threats, against one or both partner(s). Sexual Assault: May or may not include rape. RAPE: Sexual intercourse which occurs without consent as a result of actual or threatened force, must be penetration. Statutory Rape: Sexual intercourse with a person under the legal age of consent (17, in Texas). Age as a factor in consent. In Texas: Aggravated Sexual Assault: Any person who engages in sexual penetration or oral contact with sex organ with any person under 14 years old (First Degree Felony) Sexual Assault: Any person who engages in sexual penetration or oral contact with sex organ with any person under 17 years old and where defendant is 3+ years older than victim (Second Degree Felony) -Is this different from the above sexual assault?
In Texas, the age of consent is 17 and the minimum age of a child is 14 with an age difference of 3 years; thus individuals who are at least 14 years of age can legally engage in sexual activities if the defendant is less than 3 years older than the accuser (22.011(a)(2)).
From Sexuality NOW
Theories About Rape 1. Rapist Psychopathology: Either disease or intoxication are what force men to rape. Without these problems, they would not rape. 2. Victim Precipitation Theory: You did/wore something you shouldn't have. 3. Feminist Theory: Rape & the threat of rape are tools our society employs to keep women in their place, physically, socially, and emotionally.
4. Sociological Theory: Rape is an expression of power imbalances. When men feel disempowered, rape incidents go up. Who gets away with rape? 5. Evolutionary Theory: Rape as a reproductive strategy for males.
Gender Differences in Attitudes About Rape Men: less empathetic/sensitive than women are re: rape; attribute more responsibility to victim; believe more rape myths; more likely to interpret women's behavior as signaling sexual desire/availability. Women: see rape as more justified when they perceive the woman was "leading him on." Ethnic Differences in Attitudes About Rape Ethnic "minorities" tend to hold more traditional attitudes about women & rape. A continuum of sympathy: Least Sympathetic Asian-American Most Sympathetic "Hispanic" African-American White
Rape in Different Cultures
USA has the most reported incidents of rape; other cultures may define it differently or report it less. Rape as punishment, as proof of masculinity, as one's right (when a woman is property). Rape as initiation rite. Child rape: e.g., belief that intercourse with a virgin can cure HIV. Rapex: An anti-rape condom worn by women. Injects barbs into skin of penis. Barbs must be surgically removed. Why have you never heard of Rapex? Rape Among Certain Populations Marital rape: As of 1993, a crime in all 50 states; in some states there must still be force or threat of force. Lesbians: Additional trauma re: identity conflict, perhaps loss of virginity, new fears of pregnancy, STIs. Older Women: They may have far more conservative beliefs about sexuality; may be at more risk of additional physical injury. Women with Disabilities: What happens to your trust when you depend on people to take care of your body? Prostitutes: Who wants to hear about it? Sexual Coercion (From B. King, Human Sexuality Today) Types of Rape Power Rape: to overcome personal feelings of insecurity and inadequacy; to gain mastery and control; to humiliate and degrade their victims "Rape is motivated by the need to dominate, humiliate, and exert power over women [sic]," p.367. Consider prison rape; rape as a war crime; rape as a punishment in some legal systems. Anger Rape: expressing hostility about some wrong or injury inflicted by a woman or by life in general. Usually a stranger rape, usually impulsive. Not premeditated. May follow episode of being wronged, humiliated. Sadistic Rape: Employs psychological definition of sadism: The erotic charge comes from exerting physical force and inflicting pain. It is the pain that gets the rapist hot. May not be sexually satisfied if victim does not protest or suffer. Opportunistic Rape: Primary motivation is sex, but these rapists may have very distorted attitudes and beliefs about sex roles and female behavior, which tend to negate normal social inhibitions. This may account for a majority of date rapes. Where do you see such distortions? Feminist Theory: Rape occurs more often in societies that glorify male violence, especially when that society is also sexually repressive. Is this our culture?
Boys are encouraged to be aggressive, girls passive. Many rapists do subscribe to stereotypical gender roles and beliefs. Do the media glamorize rape? Social Learning Theory: Rapists may have grown up with violence and abuse, learning that this is how you get what you want. Rapists may have learned from society that men can and should do whatever it takes to get what they want. How do we view women as "objects"? Interpersonal Theories: Do men and women lack SHARED MEANING about relationships? Gender stereotypes Sex for money ("I bought you a nice dinner") Sex to get what you want Do women sometimes say a "No" that doesn't mean NO? Studies have shown many men can be sexually aroused by viewing films of rape scenes, especially if they have been drinking. (Most date rapes occur when one or both parties has been drinking.) "Normal" men's reactions to such filmed rape scenes become more like the reactions of rapists if a woman has made them angry just before the viewing. Does this mean we are all potential rapists?
Myths about Rape
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Women who are raped provoke it by their dress and behavior. Women who are raped subconsciously want it. No woman can be raped if she truly doesn't want it. "You can't thread a moving needle" Women frequently make false accusations of rape. FBI statistics indicate that less than 2% of reported rapes are false reports; this is a lower falsereport rate than for most other crimes. 7. A man can't be raped by a woman. The U.S.A. has the highest incidence of rape of all Western nations. Why? Stereotypical gender roles Are we taught to get what we want no matter what we have to do to get it? How many people urge drinks on their dates to enhance their chances? How many people have made false expressions of love to get sex? The role of aggression Antisocial attitudes: remember, this is the psychological definition of antisocial: a person with no conscience, no capacity for empathy. Impact of media portrayals of sex, love, rape Exposure to pornography - can it desensitize? (esp. violent, degrading porn) Sexual arousal becomes paired with violence
Some characteristics of rapists (male): Primarily ages 15-30 Antisocial patterns; high levels of impulsivity & aggression. Many negative interpersonal experiences growing up, often with Dad. Belief in stereotypical gender roles and myths.
Self-centered personalities. Anger toward women. Alcohol/drug use. Histories of other sexual offenses, inc. sexual abuse of children, exhibitionism, voyeurism, and sadism. Histories of fantasizing about rape; violent, degrading porn. Peer culture0 that fails to be horrified by rape.
Acquaintance Rape
Most rapes are committed by someone KNOWN to victim. ("Date rape") Much less likely to be reported than other rapes. Very high percentage of women have experienced this type of sexual coercion. How many men? Why do people engage in unwanted sex acts? to preserve relationship to be popular peer pressure partner questions your sexuality being intoxicated feeling you "owe" your partner something
Misinterpretation of partners' signals does cuddling = sex? does "No" really mean no?
Rohypnol (flunitrazepam), outlawed nationally in 1996. A powerful tranquilizer with 7-10 times the sedative effect of Valium Also produces muscle relaxation & amnesia Combined w/ alcohol, can knock you out
GHB: easily made from household solvents.
The Rape of Males
5-10% of rapes in USA? Highly underreported. Majority of victims in one study of 3635 male rape victims (1972-1991) were heterosexual Caucasians; 93.7% of the rapists were male. Most of the assaults involved physical force or threats of violence, or alcohol Fewer than 15% of the victims reported their rape Most of the victims reported symptoms consistent with rape trauma syndrome
One study of 11 men who'd been raped by women: None reported it
None spoke of it until years later in therapy Most felt something was wrong with them for having become aroused as they did
There are various ways in which the language of sexual victimization can have material cultural effects... For example, it may reinforce and perpetuate images of women as weak, passive, and asexual, and images of men as sexually driven, unstoppable, and potentially dangerous, (Gavey, 1999). Do we make things worse by broadening the definitions of rape and sexual assault? Gavey interviews a woman who at 19 was awakened by her 30-year-old apartment roommate groping her in bed. The woman said, "I remember thinking quite clearly, 'Well, if I don't - if I try to get out of the bed, perhaps if I run away or something... he might rape me... so I had better just... '." The roommate had sexual intercourse with her, and afterward she felt frightened, confused, and hypervigilant about not going to bed earlier than her roommate, but she did not think of or describe the incident as rape until years later. What happens if you love your "rapist?"
The Aftermath of Rape
Consider PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress "Disorder") - I prefer Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome. Physical consequences: injury, pregnancy, STI? Emotional/interpersonal repercussions: "Rape trauma syndrome" - often in 2 phases. Timing may vary widely! 1. acute phase: hours, days, even weeks long o May be highly controlled, may be emotionally out of control o Heightened startle response o Shame, anger, fear, nervousness, self-blame, guilt, out of control, etc. o Nausea, headaches, etc. o Weight; sexual activity; depression; anxiety; loneliness 2. long-term reorganization phase: can last for years o Impact of involvement with legal system o Fear of retaliation o Physical and emotional scars, eg body image o Problems with trust and self-blame o Who knows about it? o Alterations in normal sexual life (frequency, desire, arousal, etc.) How do you go from victim to survivor? 1. 2. 3. 4. Understand the experience and its impact on you & others. It is your experience: What will you do with it? Accept the scars. How have they changed you? Name your strengths. Be specific.
Child Sexual Abuse Our society's beliefs and attitudes about children and childhood. Not all child sexual abusers are pedophiles. Pedophilia: persistent, recurrent sexual attraction to children. Child sexual abuse can also be a simple misuse of power and entitlement; a lack of empathy toward the child; and some offenders do not see children as children.
Incest: brother-sister is most common, mother-daughter is most rare. How children tell you they have been traumatized (no ONE indicators is proof, other than physical injury): "acting out" regression withdrawal PTSD mood changes
Anger, depression, anxiety, promiscuity, dissociation, etc. are also common.
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When it comes to sexual decisions, an individual must think about all the consequences. If they do to wish to get pregnant, they need to think about some form of birth control. If they do not wish to catch a sexually transmitted disease, they must think about using protection. As with anything that we do in life, we should think long and hard about having sex when we are not married. As fun as it is and as pleasurable as it may be, unwanted things can happen. In today’s times, teens seem to be less active when it comes to sex than they were back in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s.…
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According to an article in the New York Times, “The birth rate among teenagers 15 to 19 in the United States rose 3 percent in 2006, according to a report issued, the first such increase since 1991. The finding surprised scholars and fueled a debate about whether the Bush administrations abstinence-only sexual education efforts are working” (Harris, 2007).…
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- 3 Pages
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Cited: Bailey, J. Michael. “Biological Perspectives on Sexual Orientation.” Psychological Perspectives on Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Experiences. 3rd ed. Ed. Linda D. Garnets and Douglas C. Kimmel. New York: Columbia UP, 2003. 50-85. Print.…
- 3097 Words
- 13 Pages
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The overall consensus with these differences was that men wanted sex more often than women. Whether it be intercourse or masturbation, the frequency of sex among men was a lot higher than women. When directly compared to women, men’s tendencies were higher in certain aspects. This included, but was not limited to sex fantasies, spending money on sex products and X-rated movies, and the occasional visit to prostitutes. The main difference in sexual desire among men and women was how frequently men craved sex more than women. This was true in gay couples as well. Gay men had more sex than lesbian women. In heterosexual couples, the woman was also me more likely to respect religious commitments to remain celibate.…
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Although “abstinence-only” education may be the more common sexual education program, comprehensive programs that incorporate various curricula will provide adolescents with the tools necessary to develop healthy relationships, and become productive citizens.…
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Teenage parenthood is by no means a new social phenomenon. Historically, women have tended to childbearing during their teens and early twenties. During the past two decades the United States teenage birthrate has actually declined (Polit,et al., 1982). Of the 29 million young people between the ages 12 and 18, approximately 12 million have had sexual intercourse (Guttmacher Institute,…
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If children and adolescents are educated about sex practices at too young of an age it can encourage them to partake in sexual activities prematurely. This can result in teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and negative mental health or low self-esteem. If students are educated about sex with abstinence based program it can reduce the amount of teen pregnancies that occur. For example, Project IMPPACT in New York City “focuses on the importance of abstaining from sexual intercourse” (Lieberman, Gray, Wier, Fiorention, & Maloney, 2000). This program discovered that “Lower rates of adolescent sexual activity are associated with having parents who demonstrate a combination of traditional attitudes toward sexual behavior and effective communication practices” (Lieberman et al, 2000).…
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- 6 Pages
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Murphy, H. E. (2012). IMPROVING THE LIVES OF STUDENTS, GAY AND STRAIGHT ALIKE: GAY-STRAIGHT. Psychology in the schools, 49, 9.…
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- 10 Pages
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The influences on adolescents and teens are very high in profile among our American Society. These influences can come from different amount of things such as: movies, music, peer pressure and alcohol just to name a few. Sexual interest becomes more interesting during teens in there adolescents years and they become to explore many options. When a teen becomes sexually active they tend to want to develop a relationship in multiple forms and have intimate interaction with their partner also looking for companionship and support from their other partner.…
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