The Idealist and the Giver
An Introverted/Extraverted Relationship
The level of both harmony and conflict within Introverted/Extraverted relationships can vary considerably, depending on how strongly expressed the introverted and extraverted tendencies are for these types. With very moderate expressions only the general attitudes, desires and interests of the parties involved are likely to be factors of importance affecting the relationship, and these will depend more upon the specific functions of the personalities and less upon their introverted or extraverted expression. In other cases however, particularly where both parties have a strongly expressed dominant focus, the impact of Introversion vs Extraversion becomes an important factor affecting all the functional dynamics of the relationship. For this reason general statements about the functional give and take within such relationships are of little value where individual differences play such an important part. We have tried to take this into account in the following, but it is worth recognizing that in some instances what might appear as a conflict in one relationship can be a source of harmony in another.
INFP/ENFJ Relationship Dynamics
While a relationship between an ENFJ and an INFJ might be said to at least have a quirkily balanced rider maintaining a somewhat loose grip on the reins, the INFP/ENFJ relationship is much more like the free, unbridled horse itself. Whatever feeling dictates as a course, it will follow. It will have its own character, and its own internal balance of outer perception and inner reflection, but like a horse free to roam and graze as it likes, whatever it does will be done horse style.
Equine analogies aside, this relationship is a classic where both partners have strongly dominant traits, having an almost mythical or archetypal aspect to it which tends to color, even overshadow, this pair’s shared activities and the situations in which they find themselves.
The likelihood of this being a cross gender relationship is small. Mostly it will arise between female partners through workplace or social interaction. Of the two cross gender possibilities, the most likely would be male INFP to female ENFJ. Since the distribution of both these types among the male population is very low, the likelihood of male to male or cross gender relationships occurring through normal social interaction is minimal, but could be much higher where such people are drawn together through shared interests or goals. This is a relationship where feeling valuations utterly dominate the inner and outer landscape, where the consideration of the purely sensual world, or abstract logical factors other than those dictated by feeling, is minimal at best. It is a relationship where each individual is inclined to maintain a more balanced view of the world when alone. When they are together, the more “fated” or archetypal aspects which this relationship can engender sometimes arise to dominate or overshadow its more mundane side.
One of these aspects occurs where the INFP is the strong personality in the relationship and takes on, or is placed into, a kind of “Guru” like role, with a partner who is willing to both follow and act upon their ideas. Another, perhaps more likely or common archetypal aspect to this relationship is that which follows naturally from the overvaluation of feeling judgments in the face of all other balancing factors. Where this occurs and feeling values alone dictate all decision making processes, the relationship is always going to attract those mythical, counterbalancing negatives which arise from the shadow world of the unconscious.
Under such circumstances it will seem to this couple that they are fated ever to find themselves in situations which represent the great struggle between good and evil, where everything – even the most mundane antagonism of their desires – will seem like a deliberate and cunning attack from the...