Conflict and Violence in Premarital Relationship

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Conflict and Violence in Premarital Relationship

Abstract
Incidence of conflicts and violence in premarital relationship seems to happen regularly. This research paper discusses the many possible reasons that would cause someone to become a victim or perpetrator in premarital relationships. A root cause of premarital violence is in childhood experiences. Individuals develop a certain relationship style based on their childhood experiences that influences how they behave in close relationships. Childhood emotional trauma causes children to develop insecure relationship style that produces adults with many emotional and psychological issues such as depression and anger. These styles are termed: the secure, the avoidant, the ambivalent and the disorganized relationship style. Children learn to communicate and interact with others through observing the way their manage conflicts parents. Conflicts occur often, mainly due to the lack of communication skills between couples and individual insecurities. Uncontrolled and unmanaged conflicts can cause one or both partners lose control, and quite often, the heated conflict ends in violence.

Introduction
Conflicts that arise in premarital relationships may be due to both dyadic and individual problems. These conflicts often lead to violence in relationships. The way someone reacts to life's problems or issues is rooted in the way he or she is raised and his or her childhood experiences. The term "premarital" used throughout this paper refers to only a male-female relationship. The terms such as courtship, dating relationships, also refers to the entire scope of heterosexual dating behavior, from casual dating through engagement and/or cohabitation. A premarital relationship is defined as any romantic love relationship involving a male and a female before marriage or outside of marriage. The essence of romance is characterized by a marked physical attraction, strong emotional attachment between the partners, and a tendency for each to idealize the other (Waller & Hill, 1951). Premarital relationships in this research paper includes anyone from as young as high school students to seniors. Conflicts Lead to Violence

Conflict in premarital relationships can be defined as a disagreement, a quarrel or dispute, or a discord of action or feeling. According to Tim Clinton (2006), there are three levels of relationship dispute which are termed renegotiation, impasse or dissolution. Level one (renegotiation) involves someone who is angry and bickers about his or her differences and who is governed by fears and anger. Level two (impasse) is where both individuals begin to disengage emotionally from each other and no longer confide or trust each other. Level three (dissolution) is where couples eventually reach a point where they completely cut themselves off emotionally from each other (Clinton 2006). Violence in premarital relationships include acts that involves any force that is unjust, rough or injurious to another person. Henton et al. (1983), reported several types of violent behaviors such as pushing, grabbing or shoving, slapping and kicking, biting or hitting with the fist. Relationship violence involves both the victimized and the perpetrator. When a conflict gets out of hand and escalates, one or both partners lose control, and quite often the heated conflict ends in violence (Lloyd et al., 1989). Alarmingly, violence in courtship seems to happen regularly between 1 in 3 and 1 in 2 college students and 1 in 10 high school students experience violence as victims or perpetrators (Cate et al., 1982; Laner & Thompson, 1982; Makepeace, 1981; Roscoe & Callahan, 1985; Rouse et al., 1988; Stets & Straus, 1989). The ability of premarital partners to overlook, forgive, or ignore negative interaction that is even encouraged and supported by peer groups is due to the power...
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