Compare and Contrast ‘the Day the Lady Died’ by Frank O’ Hara with ‘Mid-Term Break’ by Seamus Heaney
Hi, Sarah; I'm Wanda, your tutor for today's session.
I understand that you’d like comments regarding Introduction/Conclusion, but there are some more pressing needs for this draft. After you have revised the essay, please resubmit and ask for this kind of feedback under “Describe the kind of help you would like from the tutor.” Tell the tutor that this is a second submission and explain what you revised from the first draft. Essay Summary You are writing an essay about tattoos and body piercings. You discuss some reasons people get tattoos or piercings, and you also discuss some of the problems or disadvantages associated with tattoos and piercings. Strengths You have used commas correctly in these two sentences: They show these artist, models, and athletes with tattoos and piercings. Someone who has a tattoo of their mother, father, grandfather, etc. sends out a certain sympathetic message saying that they loved this person dearly and they died. English grammar rules require these commas to separate items in a series. Main Idea/Thesis Statement Hadijah, your paper does not have a clear thesis statement, and without a thesis statement, your readers will not understand why you are writing this paper. A thesis statement should present your purpose or position while also providing your readers with a plan for reading your paper – the listing of your sub-topics. A thesis statement should generally be written as one sentence. First, let’s look at your assignment prompt: In what ways does tattoos and body piercings define our emerging culture?
To answer this question, you might begin a thesis statement like this:
Tattoos and body piercings define out emerging culture in the areas of XYZ. You end your introduction with the following sentences, so I assume that your overall purpose is to write about the reasons people obtain tattoos and body piercings: (Your writing is in black font; my
I understand that you’d like comments regarding Introduction/Conclusion, but there are some more pressing needs for this draft. After you have revised the essay, please resubmit and ask for this kind of feedback under “Describe the kind of help you would like from the tutor.” Tell the tutor that this is a second submission and explain what you revised from the first draft. Essay Summary You are writing an essay about tattoos and body piercings. You discuss some reasons people get tattoos or piercings, and you also discuss some of the problems or disadvantages associated with tattoos and piercings. Strengths You have used commas correctly in these two sentences: They show these artist, models, and athletes with tattoos and piercings. Someone who has a tattoo of their mother, father, grandfather, etc. sends out a certain sympathetic message saying that they loved this person dearly and they died. English grammar rules require these commas to separate items in a series. Main Idea/Thesis Statement Hadijah, your paper does not have a clear thesis statement, and without a thesis statement, your readers will not understand why you are writing this paper. A thesis statement should present your purpose or position while also providing your readers with a plan for reading your paper – the listing of your sub-topics. A thesis statement should generally be written as one sentence. First, let’s look at your assignment prompt: In what ways does tattoos and body piercings define our emerging culture?
To answer this question, you might begin a thesis statement like this:
Tattoos and body piercings define out emerging culture in the areas of XYZ. You end your introduction with the following sentences, so I assume that your overall purpose is to write about the reasons people obtain tattoos and body piercings: (Your writing is in black font; my