Preview

Communicaton

Satisfactory Essays
Open Document
Open Document
424 Words
Grammar
Grammar
Plagiarism
Plagiarism
Writing
Writing
Score
Score
Communicaton
According to the author Deborah Tannen the article, Sex, Lies, and conversation" is about how differently men and women percieve conversation in their relationship. She states that lack of conversation is wreaking havoc within marriages. this is due to the fact that men and women have very different expectations of communication.

Tannen describes how differences in communication start in the childhood socialization. For young girls, conversation is the cornerstone of friendship. By sharing secrets, thoughtsm feelings, and impressions, girls and women build intimacy in their relationships. Where as young boys build relationsips by doing things together. Young boys are more inclusive with each other, creating larger groups of friends. Within these large groups, boys compete with each other to avoid the subordinate position. Intimate conversation is a form of weakness for boys and men, leaving one to feel as the subordinate just like a child listening to an adult.

One impression of not listening results from differences i the mechanics of conversation. Deborah tannen studies videotapes, made by psychologist Bruce Dorval, of young children and adults talking to their same sex best friends. Within all ages, the girld and women face each other in conversation with direct eye contact. Unlike the boys and the men who would not face one another and periodically glanced around the room.By facing away and little eye contact gives women the impession that the men are not listening.

Another habit described in the essay is the switching of topics. Women in conversation about problems will ask probing questions, and express agreement and understanding. But, men are not inquisitive. They will dismiss each others problems with simple statements and switch to a topic about themselves. Women percieve these responses as insensitive and belittling. Deborah tannen also describes how a woan's conversational habits are just frustrating to men. in close,

You May Also Find These Documents Helpful

  • Good Essays

    first reason lays in “childhood socialization that make talk between women and men like cross-cultural…

    • 285 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    In today's Society conversations between males and females has become difficult. There are a lot of miscommunications between males and females. In Deborah Tannen’s article “ Sex, Lies and Conversations” Tannen talks about how men and women talk differently to each other as well as the misunderstandings between each. She believed that no one person was at fault, whereas the differences caused by sexual standards. I feel that communication changes between males and females when in a different age group. These groups range from children, to teens, and adults.…

    • 649 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    You Just Don’t Understand Women and Men in Conversation by Deborah Tannen is basically an explanation on how women and men converse. Tannens main goal is to give advice to the different genders in order for them to avoid as much conflict as possible. Tannen’s main ideas are to explain how differently women and men react to each other’s way of being. It’s like they’re in their own little world while living in the same big world. Men tend to try to dominate situations and tend to always want to be at the top. Women do not tend to want to get into conflict but tend to show understanding. These big differences bring them into conflict. A Tannen explains, “What he wanted conflicted with what she wanted”. (40) Women and men are constantly clashing in opinions.…

    • 1042 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Good Essays

    What is the importance of communication? Communication is an important life skill that helps to people connect by building respect and trust; it can resolve differences in the environment. In Deborah Tannen’s essay “Sex, Lies and Conversations” she highlights the different styles of communication of man and woman. Tannen opens her essay with an anecdote that grabs the reader’s attention with her own personal experiences. Tannen discusses how men and women communicate with each other, how different the ways of communications for opposite sexes are, and how this can…

    • 1225 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Draft Essay

    • 855 Words
    • 4 Pages

    Tannen, Deborah. "Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?." Georgetown University: Web hosting. Washington Post, n.d. Web. 17 Feb. 2012. <http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/tannend/sexlies.htm>…

    • 855 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    But What Do You Mean?

    • 1780 Words
    • 8 Pages

    3. What does Tannen see as the fundamental difference between men’s and women’s conversational strategies?…

    • 1780 Words
    • 8 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    In the essay "sex, Lies, and conversation” Deborah Tannen deliberates about the variance in communication styles between men and women and how it originates the many problems in relationships and marriages leading to separation and divorce of most couples. There is more to communication differences than just basic stereotypes about the two genders, Deborah gives examples, experimental results and researches conducted to analyze and explain communication behaviors and skills of both men and women to better understand the different impressions men and women have of communication.…

    • 492 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    The article, “Sex, Lies and Conversation”, by Deborah Tannen, professor of linguistics, distinctively informs us about the importance of conversation and how it drastically affects marriages. Aimed at married couples and people in serious relationships; Tannen, explains marriages are being destroyed because men express themselves more freely in public rather than at home “(Tannen 2)”. Tannen enlightens us with the similarities between men and boys and women and girls. For the latter “intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven…So a woman expects her husband to be a new and improved version of a best friend” “(Tannen 9)”. Men and boys on the other hand have bonds “based less on talking and more on doing things together. Since they don’t assume talk is the cement that binds a relationship, men don’t know what kind of talk women want and they don’t miss it when it’s not there” “(Tannen 10)”. Men and women view marriage and conversation completely different in saying “women’s conversational habits are as frustrating to men as men’s are to women” “(Tannen 18)”. Ending relationships and divorce are not solely based on conversation or the lack there of, yet, it is a fundamental element in our everyday lives and it should be understood by each participant so a clear understanding of what the other is feeling is reached and interpreted correctly. It is in these misconceptions and this miscommunication, Tannen believes, that we…

    • 294 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Deborah Tannen

    • 775 Words
    • 4 Pages

    In Deborah Tannen’s essay “I’ll Explain It to You: Lecturing and Listening”, she asserts the belief that even though men and women speak the same structural language, their motivations for speech and conversational patterns are very different. In the earlier years of development, Tannen observes that girls use speech to find confirmation and establish intimacy, whereas boys use speech to assert their independence and attain social status. After transitioning to adulthood, women find themselves bored and constantly nodding as men lecture them. Tannen provides specific observations of gender communication that portrays women as passive reactors in a conversation and men as the dominant aggressors. For example, Tannen writes that men tend to lead the conversation while women tend to offer their opinions of agreement or disagreement. She also states that expertise does not guarantee a women center stage in a discussion as it would a man. In response to Tannen ideas, I find that there are no parallels to my experiences and her observations. Frequently I am the one to initiate and hold a conversation, as well as provide my opinion even when I am uncertain about its validity. I notice myself making the group, which includes men, laugh and therefore I establish myself in the conversation. In no way do Tannen’s observations of language according to gender reflect upon my speech tendencies.…

    • 775 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Better Essays

    Often time’s men and women communicate differently which lead to misunderstandings. Though, when it comes to researching you really start to come to and understanding of what those differences really are. I guess you could say some people would argue about the similarities and differences between genders, but until they do the research as well they’ll never know what they are. The question that I wanted to know in all this was, do men actually listen when a women is talking? The results however were in fact exactly what I had in mind. Men tend to tune women out, but in certain cases they do listen. In this paper you will come to find some of these differences between men and women. Not only will you learn about the differences, but that they are actually very noticeable that people run into all the time it’s just taking the time to notice them.…

    • 986 Words
    • 4 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Better Essays

    In this essay, Tannen explains why conversation is so important in marriages and how it is a leading cause of such a high divorce rate in the United States. Tannen divides her essay into four parts to make…

    • 1023 Words
    • 5 Pages
    Better Essays
  • Satisfactory Essays

    An analysis of an exert, “Sex, Lies, and Conversation” by Deborah Tannen, effectively compares communication styles between men and women. How men and women react during a conversation is illustrated throughout the book. Tannen states that “women regard conversation as the cornerstone of friendship” then closely follows the statement with friendships between men “are based less on talking, more on doing things together.” This also shows how point-by-point comparison strategy is used.…

    • 227 Words
    • 1 Page
    Satisfactory Essays
  • Good Essays

    There are some distinct differences between how men and women use and understand communication. There are differences in how we approach, laugh, or relate to a conversation based on the genders of each party that may arise in some challenges. Understanding of how each gender interacts with certain topics makes…

    • 612 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    Deborah Tannen

    • 490 Words
    • 2 Pages

    Secondly, Tannen does observations that allow her to show how men and women tend to have discussions. While men tend to be more joking, women talk more about their problems. “When…

    • 490 Words
    • 2 Pages
    Good Essays
  • Good Essays

    You would like to think that a two year relationship would be standing strong on two pillars. But what if a third pillar tried to knock down one of the stable pillars? If the third pillar succeeded, then what would you think? Who is at fault for the failed relationship? Dr. Laura Schlessinger, author of “The Improper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” explained how women are, ultimately, the reason their relationships are not successful. However, in the essay, “Sex, Lies and Conversation,” Deborah Tannen offers proof that both genders are to blame for the failed relationship. Essentially, relationships are difficult to maintain because men and women are wired differently.…

    • 697 Words
    • 3 Pages
    Good Essays

Related Topics