Communication Skills That Build Winning Relationships

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Communication is the key to growth and development of oneself, and relationships with others. Good relationships are normally forged over good communication skills. We all know of the popular saying, “No man is an island.” This means that human beings are social animals needing interaction, no man was born to be a loner. Without effective communication it would be impossible to survive in this cut-throat world. Therefore, it is a necessity to have good communication skills in order to relate well with other people. COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY

There are two main reasons why we communicate:
To gather relevant information from people.
To elicit emotional support to people and in turn build mutually useful relationships. This is best demonstrated within the work place. It is crucial to be able to retrieve necessary information from your boss by listening carefully and paying close attention to detail. If this does not happen you could very easily be terminated from your job for not following instructions. Also it is important to form relationships with colleagues that are not only beneficial to yourself but also to both parties. This way, you even look forward to going to work in the morning knowing that you have people who can back up your ideas, feelings and notions. There are two types of communication:

1)Internal communication.
2)Interpersonal communication.
1) Internal Communication
This is well known as self talk or the voice within. They are the spoken words in our minds which we do not say out loud. It could be both positive and negative. In the positive sense it serves to shape our self esteem and in self encouragement. It also helps when we challenge ourselves to achieve greater goals if we have already succeeded and surpassed our prior targets. This is best achieved through affirmations based on true beliefs, worth, potential, goals, expectations and abilities. Say a businessman had set out to get a certain contract with a partner firm he will encourage himself by saying, “I know I can do this, I have to, after all, I’m the best there is.” And in so doing he will actually make the best presentation and get the business opportunity. After which he will say to himself, “That was great! I actually nailed the job. Now all I have to do is just work my hardest and it will be smooth sailing from here.” By congratulating himself for his small win and setting a new goal he will be able to be focused on the job and keep his eye on the prize. However, it is important to note that overconfidence in oneself could well lead to a downfall instead of the achievement that one had hoped for. The negative aspect of self talk normally demoralizes oneself. It often makes it hard to achieve the goals that we set out to attain. Negative self talk often leads to distorted thinking which we should guard against. This means that their normal thinking is clouded by past or recent failures or personal shortcomings. A form of distorted thinking is polar thinking. This is overly simplistic thinking. Here are some characteristics of polar thinkers. i)They generalize matters

Polar thinkers assume that everything will always have the same bad result. For example, when someone is terminated from a job he will automatically tend to think that he will be fired from the next job he gets. If that happens, he will then most probably say, “Oh well. This always happens to me.” The saying, ‘Life is more shades of grey than pure black or white,” is most applicable to this type of thinking. ii)They personalize

They tend to take things too personally and victimize themselves. They also constantly compare themselves with others. They tell themselves such things as, “He probably did not like me because I was too honest.” They do not realize that it is not important how everybody thinks of them and that they need to earn their own self approval first. iii)They use ‘est’ words

This means that they are notorious for using words in their...
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