Communication - Personal Conflict

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Personal Conflict

My name is Tom , and I have experienced several interpersonal conflicts with family, friend, and a total stranger. Throughout this paper I’m going to discuss an interpersonal conflict that I experienced with my parent and my family and friend. I will do this by addressing the elements of a conflict which include the parties involved in the conflict, the actual issue of the conflict, and the context of the conflict and later identifying conflict management strategies, behaviors, outcomes, and the conflict aftermath using the Conflict Lens Model. First I will begin with an historical overview of how I grew up dealing with conflict in my family. Dealing with conflict in one of three ways; either avoid conflict, discuss conflict in a collaborative manner, or they’re extremely aggressive when they experience a conflict. My family unfortunately dealt with conflict in an aggressive manner. When a conflict would arise in my family we always tried to talk the problem through, but within five to ten minutes of discussing the issue name calling, yelling, and dramatic behavior would always transpire. This would happen because everyone in my family always believed that they were right even if it was blatantly obvious that they were incorrect. The arguing would go around and around with no feasible outcome. Usually, after a night of arguing everyone would go to bed upset, but wake up the next morning and act as if the big blow up from the night before was not important. The conflict then would be avoided until it was imperative that it needed to be discussed and managed. Never dealing with conflict in a proper manner has put a strain on many of my relationships, especially with my family. The interpersonal conflict that I experienced with my parent occurred back in November of 1981. The parties that were involved within this conflict were my mother Hazel, my friend (Greg), my brother (Keith), and sister(Carla) and I. The conflict arose when my mother received an alarming phone calls from my friend and brother informing my mother and sister that they were extremely worried about my well being, because I had been using cocaine almost everyday. My mother immediately phoned me and confronted me about this terrifying issue. I spoke with my mother first, she asked me what was going on and if the statements that she heard from my friend and brother were valid. Having no idea that my friend and brother were going to call my mother, I was outraged. How could they go behind my back and tell on me? And why were they exaggerating the truth? I replied to my mother in straight denial, I only admitted using coke two times. After I spoke with my mother, my sister got on the phone, she was crying and her voice was shaky and weak. My sister asked me the same question. I gave her the same answer. After I spoke with both of them individually they both got on the phone, and told me that they didn’t believe me, and unless I didn’t accept help from my mother, then she would basically take everything away from me, my education, my car, and every cent of money that they had been supporting me with. I was livid, and hung up the phone. Immediately after speaking with my mother and sister, I called my friend and brother to find out why they did this to me. My friend explained to me that they had been watching me use more and more drugs, and they said they saw a severe change in my attitude and the phone call to my mother needed to be made. Once again I was furious, and hung up on my friend and brother. I felt betrayed, how my friend and brother go out and party with me, then turn around and call my mother and sister and tell them that I had a cocaine addiction. Two days went by, I avoided all phone calls from my mother and my sister. Finally on the third day after the confrontation, my mother and sister showed up at my house. I didn’t want to look at them let alone speak with them. My friend and...
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