Communication plays a vital role in developing any kind of healthy relationship, regardless of what phase the relationship is in. “Ineffective communication causes an interpersonal gap that is experienced in all facets of life and in all sectors of society” (Bolton, 1987, p.4) Communication can be divided into two categories which is verbal and non-verbal. Verbal is the spoken language whereas non-verbal includes gestures, body language and facial expression. Effective communication can be established when this two types of communication complement each other. In fact, communication skills start the day you say your first words. We learn from birth that we get what we need out of our body gestures and non-verbal communication as babies. We in turn learn to trust our environment and those around us, whilst developing relationship. Communication Model
In general terms, interpersonal communication can be classified as either one-way or two-way. One-way communication occurs when the sender transmits information in the form of direction, without any expectation of discussion or feedback. For example, a manager may stop by an employee's desk to inform him that a certain project will be due the following day. One-way communication is faster and easier for the sender because he or she does not have to deal with potential questions or disagreement from the receiver. In contrast, two-way communication involves the sharing of information between two or more parties in a constructive exchange. For example, a manager may hold a staff meeting in order to establish the due dates for a number of projects. Engaging in two-way communication indicates that the sender is receptive to feedback and willing to provide a response. Although it is more difficult and time-consuming for the sender than one-way communication, it also ensures a more accurate understanding of the message. This basic concept is illustrated in Appendix 5. Stewart and D’ Angelo (cited in Adler & Roman, 2000, p. 144) developed a model on communication types which identifies four kinds of communication: • Verbal
Barriers to Communication
There are many barriers to effective communication. Considering its complexity, understanding the core challenges to interpersonal communication can vastly improve the process of interpreting people's messages, and helping them understand how to interpret yours. According to Bolton (1987) there are twelve major communication spoilers, listed in three different categories: Judging
1. Criticising - making a negative evaluation of the other person. 2. Name-calling - stereotyping the other person.
3. Diagnosing - analysing the other person's behaviour.
4. Praising evaluatively - making excessive positive judgments to the other person.
5. Ordering - commanding the other person to do something you would like. 6. Threatening - controlling the other person's actions by warning about consequences. 7. Moralising - telling what the other person should do in a given situation. 8. Inappropriate or excessive questioning - using close-ended questions in excess. 9. Advising - giving the other person a solution to a problem.
Avoiding the Other's Concerns
10. Diverting - "pushing" a solution to the other person's problems. 11. Logical argument - attempting to convince the other with an appeal to logic and facts. 12. Reassuring - trying to stop the other person from feeling negative emotions.