Styles of Love
The two styles of love I chose to cover are game-playing love (ludus) and selfless love (agape). I choose these particular two styles of love because I have experience them or know someone close to me who has been in a relationship of this kind.
Game-playing love; one does not completely commit to one person; they have a main partner but still do whatever they like. A game-playing love relationship is not healthy and leads to unhappiness. In the reading, it states that game-playing is one reason relationships come to an end. For example: my male cousin cannot be serious with a female if someone gave him a million dollars. It is something about commitment that just does not agree with him. Because of game-playing ways he can keep a relationship and has multiple children from multiple women and he still continues to be a “player.”
Selfless love occurs when one thinks only of his or her partner’s happiness and puts his or her own needs last. Couples with this type of love, according to the reading, last a long time. I must admit that I am like this with my fiancé’. We both have selfless love for one another and our love has been strong for four years and will continue. This type of relationship is a perfect example of no “I” in “we.” The more we are together the stronger our love grows.
Game-playing love and selfless love has no similarities. They are the opposite of each other. Game-playing is basically when one plays games with someone else’s heart (ludus) and selfless love is serious and one’s heart is wide open (agape).
Spencer A. Rathus, Jeffrey S. Nevid, and Lois Fichner-Rathus. (2005). Human
Sexuality in the World of Diversity. Retrieved from Spencer A. Rathus, Jeffrey S.Nevid, and Lois Fichner-Rathus, PSY/265 website.