Charles Darwin Chapter 1 Commentary

In this passage we begin to really understand the character of john and his account for what life is and more importantly a description of what he sees as being important as well as giving a clear image of everything that he doesn't want to be It is an account of him on the morning of his birthday recalling the memory of sinning with his own hands in the bathroom of the school. This is a reflection of himself and allows us to see him in a way that makes him seem all too human by showing who he truly is, while also wishing that he was something that he wasn't.
The first line of this passage starts as a continuation from the paragraph above, this is done to show that it is the same thought and it is being looked at more in detail. It comes of
James baldwin uses a descriptive writing style to keep us intrigued and able to relate to what john is going through as he is laying in bed thing about how this makes him feel. The beginning of the passage makes it feel as if he is in such regret for doing something that makes him feel cursed, as it continues we see the process he goes through to come to the realization that he feels as his brother felt and the reason for feeling this way is not because of the power of god but because of his father. We see the description of the church and how it has been such a big presents in his life that he feels the judgment of the placards of the religious figures around him, knowing that what he had done was waged against death. Inside of john's head we see him freaking out and yet is able to find clarity in his sin. We learn that John feels that he has sinned and that act of masturbating that thinking of older boys is unspeakable. He seems to believe that the sin he had committed was unforgivable, by himself or by god. This is the part of the book that we see the struggles that john is go through in his own mind and that clarity in the decision of not being like his father is the only thing that comes out of