12, April, 2011
In China: Changes in Virginity Complex
“A girl will never have an enjoyable family life if her husband finds out that she is not a virgin when they marry.” That’s what my mom has been telling me again and again since high schools. At first, I assumed that they were the reality. However, I have found myself caught in confusion when I saw movies or TV series crossing the line, when I heard conversations in which boys sounded indifferent about virginity, when I was informed that my young cousin was right now cohabitating with his girlfriend. Eventually I have realized that it’s not my mom who is mistaken, it’s people’s current attitude towards virginity before marriage, or their virginity complex that has changed. Before, like in the 1990s, not only male, but the entire society has sanctified virginity. It would be sinful if a girl loses her virginity before her marriage. Ironically, it was the girl to blame if her virginity is deprived. People would impute this to her sluttery, and the man who makes this happen would not be paid much attention. More pathetically, even the girl will recognize the whole situation as her own fault and feel shameful for running out of self discipline. In fact, what lay behind this collective complex was the extreme inequality between men and women. However, today people will no longer be as astonished if they encounter a non-virgin girl who has never been married. Actually, I have met several female friends who don’t even care about virginity and approve of cohabitation before marriage. Even the elder generation has changed their stereotype. As I mention above, my uncle and aunt didn’t fuss when their son shacked up with his girlfriend. It is undeniable that with women achieving a high status in China’s society, they are no longer judged mainly by their sexual feature----virginity, but rather their virtues and intellectuality. In conclusion, due to the...