After reading the article, Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in marriages, I cannot relate with Nara Schoenberg understands of self-disclosure in relationships. I have been married for twelve years but together with my husband for seventeen years. We have a wonderful relationship. We take one day of the week for ourselves. Whether it is go to the supermarket or for diner and a movie, we spend time together and talk about our hopes and dreams with each other. In this article, I found most of the things to be true but not entirely. Schoenberg states men need more affective affirmation more than women do. (Schoenberg, 2011) I feel that men are more of sexual creatures than affection. Affection starts when a man and a woman are children, women always showed affection as a child by playing with dolls and playing like they are the mother and the doll is a child whereas boys are taught to be tough and rough playing with trucks and as boys and girls grow up women are still seeking for that same affection from their boyfriend or husband whereas a man feel more love from a women if he is having sex.
The article also points out many interesting things about communication in a relationship. It is very easy for a relationship to slip especially when children are involved, which can lead to miscommunication in your relationship. Most of the mother’s time is spent with the children and trying to take care of the child’s needs. Your spouse is usually put on the back burner, so to speak. However, even if children are taking up most of your time you should still set aside time for you and your spouse to enjoy each other’s company and expand on each other’s self-disclosure. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. The better a couple communicates the better their self-disclosure will be. Trusting and showing affection will become much easier if you communicate about everything.
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