By Jack Edmunds
Cows are scary at night. I found this out once on a Boy Scout camping trip. Camping trips with the Boy Scouts can be great fun if you can come up with things to do during the dull moments between planned activities and sleep. This was never a problem for me and my peers being the criminal mastermind that I was back then. I never had any trouble thinking of stupid ideas to get us all in trouble. On this occasion since we were camping on a farm after a day full of parent approved fun activities night fell and we were left to our own devices. Instead of doing the usual snipe hunting this time the idea of cow tipping was brought to the table. Being the all knowing wise leader that I was I convinced my friends that we should do it, by assuring them that there was no way we could be caught, that nothing could go wrong, and that it would be very enjoyable to watch cows roll over. The cows would be asleep and they are just gentle dairy cows.
The cattle had they been dairy cows would have created no problems. But they weren’t. And they did. The main problem was that these cows were actually bulls not cows. I didn’t know the difference between cows and bulls at the time. The bulls for dairy breeds are often considered the most dangerous type of cattle besides bulls of Spanish fighting breeds. Now that I have grown older and more knowledgeable I know cow tipping isn’t even possible. Cows weigh at least 800lbs. and they sleep on the ground. If they are even asleep at 8:30. All of this important knowledge was unavailable to me as I lead my friends into this obvious disaster.
We were excited and ready to tip our first cows. The group stayed together being lead by the few who brought flashlights. Searching with few dim lights for a cow whose night we could ruin. After much searching, I began to worry there were no cows and I would be made a fool for suggesting an Idea that was such a failure. Just as I was...