2 - The house sits down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Julian creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Emma Pulman hits him with a Spoon.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of Eiffel Tower out of Chicken Tikka. After much persuasion by Julian, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the Eiffel Tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when James, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the Chicken Tikka. Emma Pulman is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the Eiffel Tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when James farts and blows Eiffel Tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Alicia cries.
6 - Julian gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Alicia admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a Spoon. Sadeck says he never wears condoms because they make his Penis sore and Julian agrees. Maeve goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. James sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Julian.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Sadeck goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Emma Pulman and Alicia are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Sadeck.
9 - Emma Pulman and Alicia are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Maeve sings them a song - Wait and Bleed by Slipknot - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote Alicia out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Alicia leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Alicia's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Maeve has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Emma Pulman is visibly depressed and is comforted by Julian, who tries to touch her on her Breasts.
12 - The Big Brother psychologist replays the footage of Julian touching Emma Pulman's Breasts over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumference of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that James refuses to run because his Penis hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. James finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Emma Pulman calls James a lazy Penis.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Sadeck tells everyone individually that he thinks Emma Pulman is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Emma Pulman and Julian are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Sadeck.
16 - The nominations are announced. Emma Pulman can't believe she's been voted out...