There is no doubt that once the word autism enters a couple's life, life changes. We look back upon the pregnancy and how we awaited the birth of this child with great anticipation and how we only hoped for a "healthy child."
After a couple of years, it is discovered that this wish was not granted and autism has now entered the picture. The marriage is still there, the child is still there but now autism is there as well, almost as another person in the family unit. What is the effect on marriage once a disability in a child has entered the equation?
Unfortunately it becomes, instead of something that can bind a couple together, a factor that causes stress. Extreme stress and often the marriage is a victim of that stress and fails. But why? Is it necessary to choose between our marriage and our child with autism? Or are we missing something in this daily struggle against this disability that has kidnapped our child.
Once upon a time, a couple met, fell in love, married and that was supposed to be the end of the story. Actually that is when the story really began. After the "I do", the challenges began and no one can tell what the future may hold. In the case of people reading this article, autism is what happened. And it became in many cases a real "monkey wrench" in the machinery of the marriage.
As time progresses and the parents adjust to the fact that their child is afflicted with this disability, there is usually a time of working together to conquer this disability. Looking for answers, the best treatments, the best therapies; during that time teamwork between husband and wife is usually strong.
Then real life sets in and things begin to change. Autism then becomes the newest member of the family. It is something that both adults realize isn't going away. It becomes a day-to-day routine, becoming often times more difficult as the child gets older. Your student has plagiarized this paper. It becomes a trial that brings stresses never before imagined by the once newly married bride and groom.
Now they are two people in the same house trying to get by with a child who has incredible demands. Two things can result from this. 1. The couple draws closer together looking to each other for strength, helping each other, spelling each other when it just gets to be too much to face, and the marriage is made stronger. 2. The other result, which is very common, is a marriage that begins to disintegrate in the face of autism. Usually, but not always, this is because of a mother who lives for nothing but autism. She strives to find out why this happened, what to do to make her child the best he/she can be and excludes almost everything from her life but things that are related to autism. Usually this is accompanied by a father who refuses to accept that this disability is affecting his child and who distances himself not only from the child but also from his wife, who now needs him more than ever. Summer is a good time for a married couple to step back and take an assessment of their marriage and relationship and the priorities they have when autism is part of their life. Priorities. It always comes down to priorities and by stacking them up properly, a couple and a family can make their life function more effectively thus reducing stress and bringing back the joy and intimacy that the marriage originally had. 1. Your faith. You must keep as a couple your faith, whatever it may be, as first. It is the guiding force behind every single action you do in your life. If you pray, meditate, follow a set of values by tradition, put that first. It is the cornerstone of your life and without that, the rest of your life will not be on an even keel. This applies to both husband and wife individually as well as to the couple as a unit. 2. Your spouse. Yes, your spouse is your second priority. If you are a wife reading this, think back on the man you married and how you felt about him. Those feelings have gone...
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