Week 8 Day 7
I received a lot of different information from the instructor that will be very helpful to my expository essay. I got feedback telling me about how you are not supposed to be putting the word “you” in your expository essay because it is a ppn, and one is not supposed to use them.
I had two peer reviews which I am very thankful for, because I could use all the help I can get! I now can use the feedback given by my peers and re-write the parts of my essay that had vagueness. I can also add things where I was asked to give more examples and things.
The Center for Writing Excellence gave feedback that was much like the instructors, but the instructor’s feedback was more understandable then the CWE feedback! I will have an easier time changing what I think needs to be changed off the feedback from my instructor and my peers.
This feedback improves my expository essay by giving me one’s opinions on where I could improve my writing at like one my feedback from my peers said “The materials that did not seem to fit the main points when you are talking about taking days off work. It does not matter when you get a tattoo or piercing I you still gone have to give it time in the winter or summer. Stay on the subject with piercing and tattoos.” Now, I can go back and fix that part and tell why it helps with to ease the healing process. I can also include the part where I was told “One part explained about the signs of infection then below it explains how to prevent infection. I would put them together in the same paragraph.”
I am choosing not to include “The introduction did not grab me. Maybe a story about someone who had one of the procedures done would be more intriguing” because, in the two different reviews I had one person liked the introduction, and one person did not. I am sticking with a little revision for the introduction, but the feedback still gave me knowledge which is appreciated! [continues]
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