Asian Parents Speech.

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Have you ever been woken up by someone in your ear saying Andreaaa! You get up now or you be late to school, I told you last night to go to sleep early, that’s why you got pimples! Cuz I have, if you haven’t maybe it’s cuz your white. As you probably already know I’m Asian, and I’ve got Asian parents. That’s right I’m going to be talking about Asian parents. By the end of this speech you’d be wishing that you were an undercover spy in an Asian family.

Let’s start, have you ever been to your Asian friend’s house and meet their parents and afterwards you think that they’re the nicest people on earth because they fed you, they gave you juice, made you some milo, they made you some spring rolls to take home, they washed your clothes for you.. hahah jk DO NOT BE FOOLED because for us Asians it’s a different story.

First of all they’re so strict, everything that you do, you have to ask for their permission and sometimes even if you do ask for their permission they still say “no, no, no you might get raped” there was this one time I was just about to go my neighbour’s house because they were having a little party, and then my mum stopped me, she was like “andrea, where are you going?” Oh im just going next door cuz they’re having a party, “Why? Are you invited, did they tell you to come?” Did they say andrea!” Come over here we want you to come!” No, pearl just told me to come because her mum cooked heaps of food “Why you have to go there, why can’t you just stay here and eat the food here” because I don’t like the food here “Andrea don’t talk back to me, okay you go, then you come back and get some food from there”

Sometimes when they’re giving me a two hour lecture, I don’t even know if I should tell them or not, or if I should just laugh because they’ve started to have one of those white things, when you’ve been talking for too long? And honestly sometimes I just fall asleep and then when I wake up and they’re still talking. anyways Nuff said.

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