It was hard for me to swallow the fact that I had to leave him because he was sick. Because he was incapable to be someone who can take care of me for the rest of my life. I knew what we had was an old-fashioned kind of love. We didn't meet up that often. I had always been so shy and reserved around him. I was uncertain about a lot of things when we were together. But one thing I was always sure of was, that he loved me. He talked about me to his friends, and even to his students. He bragged how lucky he was to have owned me as his'. What I had in my mind was that this man right there, was destined for me. I had been through quite a heartbroken moment previously and he was the only one my heart could approve that very moment. I never did say those three words to him. I don't know why. I thought it is proper just to keep going on with him and sooner or later, when he is legally mine, I can finally utter the sacred lines.
My dad was the first person who asked me to break off my bond with him. I was close to my dad, and I had to take that as an obligation for me to obey. He said, my lover wouldn't last long and his cancer will worsen each passing day and he didn't want to see me end up as a widow, post-marriage. I know it sounded so inhumane, for him to say that. I was torn. It wasn't easy for me to ditch him and put an end to our long-term plan of marriage just because he's a bone cancer victim. I was stuck between my genuine feelings towards him and my family's demand.
I cried every day thinking that not only I will lose him as my lover, but how soon he will leave this world, suffering from his illness. My cousins and my siblings were worried about me. They showed up at my house, trying to shake me back to reality that there is always a plenty of fishes in the sea. That I'm still young and there are a couple of guys who will wait and treat me right. But I know it wouldn't be the same like how he meant to me. I struggled each second to make believe that I...
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