Analyzing Self-Esteem

My alarm goes off at 6:15am every morning so I have time to eat and get ready before my first class at 8:15am every morning. Contrary to many students, I love mornings. It is my sort of escape from the rest of the world, a time I can enjoy peacefully without a care in the world. Mornings are where I am at my most tranquil and think with a clear mind. The hustle of my day has not really begun, and I enjoy the crisp, new, refreshed feeling I get when I awake. I am given the chance to renew. It is quite cold in the morning, so I enjoy cranking the house heater way up and then I boil some water for my morning tea to warm me on the inside. I then get to lounge around for the next few minutes in my PJs while the water in the shower goes from cold to hot. I relax for those few minutes without worrying about how I look, who I have to impress, what my hair looks like, what my body looks like, if I am fashion friendly and look like the Girls Next Door – I am the judge of me and I am content – I have inner peace and feel beautiful. Those first several morning minutes are when I feel like the world is mine and that I can conquer everything. But as the saying goes, all good things come to an end and as a part of my routine, my turning point seems to notoriously come when I walk by the mirror and again become the judge of me. But this time, I am able to see what the outside world sees and I am reminded I am not beautiful. The mirror tells no lies and reminds me that I do not fit into that beautiful mold as told by the constant messages on TV, in movies, from peers, in newspapers and in magazines – If media says I cannot be successful if I am not beautiful, and I can not be beautiful without changing my appearance, who am I to argue with the world. Every morning, I am reminded not that I am, but that I am not. And if I could afford to be beautiful and successful, I would. Shit…school starts in 15 minutes. I’m not sure if I am good enough. Maybe today I will stay home. [continues]

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