Altering Communication Patterns in Specific Types of Situations

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ALTERING COMMUNICATION PATTERNS IN SPECIFIC TYPES OF SITUATIONS

COPY AND PRINT THESE TWO PAGES

FOR USE IN THIS EXERCISE
DESIGNED FOR ALTERING
YOUR COMMUNICATION PATTERNS
IN SPECIFIC TYPES OF SITUATIONS
You will need to print an additional set for each troublesome situation. [pic]
    Selecting from the types of situations presented in the previous section, choose one that you and your significant other found troublesome.  Once you have selected your situation, use the name of that situation to label your worksheet, then try to write, in the dialogue boxes below, what each of you typically says to the other in turn.  You might need to also indicate the tone and manner of speech and also the manner of non-verbal communication.  This is not meant to be easy.       You will need to have a third person observe and take notes while you re-enact on paper the way you typically communicate in this type of situation.  The reason for doing this exercise in this particular way is that we seldom capture in our memories the exact nature of our communication.  We tend to recall our intentions and feelings, our feelings toward the other, our interpretations of the other's behavior, and the faults we wish the other would change.  These communication patterns are particularly intransigent and therefore changing them requires a truly massive attack.       You will, naturally, find that you disagree and that there is not one set way the communication flows.  However, once you have thrashed it out for a while, you should eventually be able to abstract a reasonably fair representation of both parties during the typical course of the dialogue in this type of situation.       When you painstakingly go through the process of reconstructing what each of you is typically, actually doing or saying in that situation, you may finally see why the interaction usually ends unacceptably and what each of you needs to change.     NAME OF SITUATION________________________

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