Aice Diagnostic

Topics: Better, Improve, Writing Pages: 1 (310 words) Published: September 6, 2012
For this essay I chose a discursive type essay. I felt that my essay had valid arguments for both sides of the topic. My essay did stay on topic and followed the prompt. This essay felt strong, considering the last essay written was in May. My body paragraphs had support that tied back to the prompt and were relevant. The body paragraphs followed the proper M6ET structure and had the proper examples and explanations. My introduction followed the ATT structure and my conclusion followed the RSM structure. My conclusion did not repeat the introduction and still maintained the generalization element.

Improvements can be made in my essay in the areas of word choice and conventions. Throughout the essay, some words were used that should not have been. Above all, the biggest problem in this essay is the absence of a second counter argument. I was only able to write one body paragraph for the counter arguments, instead of two. In the future, I must improve on my conclusion and always keep it open. A small word choice error that can be improved is using the word “altered” instead of the word “made” with regards to my sentence about life being altered by multiple people. Another major problem that needs to be improved is the pronoun agreements, such as writing “their” or “they” instead of “his or her.” Improving on these conventions will only make my essay stronger and will receive a higher grade.

Overall, my essay was pretty decent since it is the first essay since last school year. Certain areas can definitely be improved to better my essay and make it stronger. In the future, In the future, it will be vital to remember to always use the proper essay structure and correct all the errors made in the past, such as pronoun agreements and other small conventions.
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