My Life Revealed from the Beginning, While Mastering my Goals in the Present Cheneal Relazez Hilton
PSY 202 Adult Developments and Life Assessment
November 19th 2012
I. Where are you from?
A. Dominican Republic
B. New York
D. Mixed Culture
II. What things do you remember about your childhood?
A. Neglect from my mother
C. Not feeling love or wanted in my home or from school
D. Being an outcast
E. My little brother
III. Do you have your own family now?
B. Two Intelligent sons
C. A supporting fiancé
IV. What jobs have you had in your life?
A. Department of Parole and Probation
B. Giant Distribution
C. Department of Defense (Special Police)
Even though I have had many negative influences in my life, I tend to focus on the lessons it taught me instead of the hardship. My mother always looked at me as a failure and never had any high expectations from me, and so that made life much harder for me as well. She taught me that by hurting people, you gain respect. My culture and background plays a huge part in who I am today and I take nothing nor any experience for granted. As an adult I learned how to control my anger in a lot of ways by keeping myself around positive energy, church, my family, and understanding that I cannot be bitter or stress over things from my past that I cannot change.
First I use to believe that hurting people was the only way to gain respect. The only thing that opened my eyes was the karma I had to endure from hurting people, and I also learned a lesson in life the hard way. I noticed that I was a very bitter and rebellious child and years later I turned to a lifestyle of the streets because of anger that I encountered from my past. I tried not to make excuses about my rape and almost being molested by a family member and so it created resentment amongst those who truly love me. I would sometimes lash out at my friends and become violent if others mocked me or didn’t agree with my way of thinking. They became my defense mechanisms (Bronfenbrenner’s (1979)Adult Development and Life Assessment) and the only way I knew how to cope. During this time in my life I was not able to keep friends too long due to the constant moving back and forth from state to state. My mother was born in the Dominican Republic and from my understanding she endured a lot of pain in that country. Hurting people became a learned behavior for my mother, and moving around from place to place didn’t help either. The reason we had to keep moving was because of the on and off relationship between my mother and father. It seems like every time they got back together, we would live in Jamaica where my father is from, however if they broke up, we had to move back to the Dominican Republic. As I became a preteen my mother finally decided that enough was enough, and moved me and my brother to live in the Bronx. New York. We moved in with my aunt and she basically raised me, also taught me how to love myself. As time passed, I started to look at my aunt as my mother because of how much time she spent with me. My mother was never around due to her need to isolate herself from me and my brother, but my aunts love compensated for her absence.
I remember the day I found out we had to move again. Honestly, to this day I am not 100% sure of why my mother made us leave New York, but I have a feeling it had everything to do with my aunt and mothers disagreements. Our next move was to the District of Columbia. I was beyond hurt at this point in my life and I was more than mentally damaged. I was a teenager; however I knew nothing about being a teenager or anything about life itself. I took the bitter with the sweet. Being that I was raised in New York majority of my early childhood years, I gained street smarts. I remember everything New York taught me, especially the lessons...
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