Conflict Resolution in a long term relationship:
Relationships are HARD work, but the pay off can be very rewarding. If you are in a relationship, you are going to have arguments. How each person reacts to the issue will determine whether the relationship progresses or becomes damaged.
Conflict arises from differences. Values, motivations, perceptions, ideas or desires. Conflict starts over something small and usually holds deeper meaning for one of the parties. Every relationship has conflict at times.
Conflict is healthy and if both people address the deeper issue and listen to each others needs, it will lead to a better understanding of your partner and a stronger, longer lasting relationship. When you are able to resolve a conflict in your relationship, it builds trust and security knowing that your relationship is able to survive challenges.
Do: Listen instead of thinking of ways to defend yourself next. Identify your part in the argument.
Discover what you both can agree on about the issue.
Be sure that you choose the appropriate time and place to discuss the issue.
DO NOT: Overload the other with negatives.
Criticize someone for the things they cannot change.
Bring up unrelated issues.
Refuse to take the fight seriously.
How we fight..
We learn how to fight by the relationships we see growing up. Everybody handles conflict in a different way. The important thing to remember is that both people need to listen intently, respect the other's thoughts and feelings, and find a way to compromise so that both people give a little to get what they both want. Arguing is a great way to learn about each other if you use it as a learning tool. It isn't always easy, but it is always worth it if you want a long lasting relationship.
Remember, everybody expresses anger differently.
The BEST way...