Human Sexuality Study Guide

Human Sexuality Study Guide – Text Reading

CHAPTER 4:

Love and Marriage in America:

Love and Relationships have changed so much since the Time of our Independence (1750). Marriage was a concept that was arranged between the fathers of the potential bride and groom, and the only way you would be considered a good couple is if you increase the wealth of both families. Traditionally, the brides family would give money or land to the grooms family in exchange for “allowing” the woman to marry their son.

Because life expectancy was a lot shorter in the 1700’s, if a couple did not marry young, it would be likely that they wouldn’t ever get married. Unmarried Women were called “old maids” between the ages of 22 and 27. And unmarried men were forced to pay a “bachelorhood tax” for not being married.

There was a process called “bundling” which meant that the engaged couple was encouraged to sleep in the same bed on a regular basis. They had to be fully clothed, and separated by a diving board. The point of this was to help couples become emotionally intimate faster. However, because people were becoming sexually involved during bundling, when they shouldn’t have, it fell out of favor.

Today, relationships are motivated by love and intimacy and the desire to make a lasting commitment. This is a lot different than marrying for a business advantage, which is what they did in the olden days.

The “Beautiful is Better” Bias:

The influence of physical attractiveness goes well beyond how drawn you may be to someone.

Attractive Children are more popular with Teacher and classmates, teachers are known to give higher evaluations and have higher expectations of them.

Attractive applicants for a job have a better chance of getting jobs, and receiving a higher salary. (Tall men earned $600 more a year per inch of height than shorter executives)

In court, attractive people are found guilty less often and when they are found guilty, their sentence is much more lenient.

People react more favorably to physically attracted individuals whether they are gay or straight.

A stereotype of people that are physical attractive is that they possess other desirable characteristics like intelligence, competence, social skills, confidence and even moral virtue.

Men tend to agree on who they find attractive more than women do.

Physical Attractiveness is deeply embedded in cultural values and attitudes. It is also clear that physical attractiveness plays a prominent role in romantic relationships.

The Matching Hypothesis:

Without a doubt, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it seems as though that people tend to seek romantic and sexual partners that possess a similar level of physical attractiveness. This hypothesis is known as the matching hypothesis. It is possible that people choose their partner based on the matched physical appearance because it is the “safer” choice. Meaning that the person of similar attractiveness is more likely to say yes to a relationship than somebody who is much more physically attractive. Physical attractiveness is also relative to how well a relationship works out. A couple that matches in physical attractiveness actually tends to last longer than relationships where the physical attractiveness differs significantly. Also the degree of matching among romantically linked couples depends to some degree on the nature of the couple. Gay male couples tend to match each other on measures of attractiveness less than lesbian couples who tend to show less similarity than heterosexual couples.

Types of Relationship Abuse:

All abusive relationships are very different from each other. Abusive relationships are all about the use of power and control that is achieved through wide range tactics. The abusers goal is to take complete control of the relationship. Some tactics that abusers tend to use are: Minimization and Blame, Intimidation, Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Threats, Domination, Humiliation and Possessiveness. Relationship abuse usually involves a pattern of abusive events. If a person has one abusive moment, it is not necessarily considered an abusive relationship. The beginning of an abusive relationship may not seem very negative. Some of the behaviors that may even seem loving and caring. The jealousy may seem extreme, but it seems endearing and protective. The constant attention and togetherness may seem like a sign of the intensity of the love, however, these may also be signs of the violence to come.

Physical Abuse:
Some victims have experienced intimate physical violence that they did not perceive as being abusive. Not all physical abuse entails punching, broken bones, bleeding, or stitches. Most relationship violence causes damage that others cannot see, so they don’t even know it has occurred if the victim does not choose to talk about it or does not label it as violence. Abusers generally tend to leave marks in areas that people may not see, or they tend to physically abuse their partner without ever leaving marks to begin with. The following are behaviors that are considered physical abuse: pushing, hitting, grabbing, choking, slapping, punching, biting, cutting, hitting with objects, pinching, physical restraining, rape or other sexual abuse or physical intimidation.

Verbal Abuse:
Verbal abusers attack with words instead of physical violence, however most verbal abusers tend to be physical abusers as well. Attacks of verbal abuse may be directed at the victim or may take the form of humiliation comments or untrue accusations said to others about the victim. The affects of verbal abuse are extremely painful and long lasting. Verbal abuse can be in many different forms, but it’s general goal is the same as all forms of abuse, to gain control over the victim. It’s often designed to create feelings of worthlessness in the partner and transfer blame onto the victim for the abuser’s attacks. Examples of Verbal Abuse are the following: yelling, threats, intimidation, ridiculing, name-calling, criticizing, accusing, insulting, humiliating, swearing, blaming, mocking, sarcasm, put-downs, and trivializing the victim’s ideas, opinions or wishes.

Emotional Abuse:
Emotional abuse is more focused on the victims feelings about themselves. Emotional abuse is so insidious and psychologically devastating that it can take the longest time to identify and heal. Abusers use many tactics to take control of and manipulate the partner’s feelings and emotions. They make the victims feel unworthy of being loved, unattractive, sexually unskilled, and at fault for the causing of the abuse that is occurring. They intimidate and threaten their victims with bodily harm, damage to personal property, and injury to loved ones and pets. Actions that may constitute emotional abuse include entitlement:(I expect you to do what I say), withholding information, (Why should I tell you what Im thinking or feeling), withholding sex, (Why would I want to make love with someone like you?), emotionally misrepresenting the victim’s feelings (You’re not hurt, stop complaining), risk taking (doing drugs, engaging in high-risk behaviors such as driving recklessly, not seeking medical care when needed), withholding help from the partner, excessive jealousy, threats of suicide, threatening to hurt or kill (the partner, friends, relatives, or pets), and taking charge of all the decisions in the relationship.

The Cycle of Violence and Abuse: Signs that you may HAVE an abusive partner:

Are you… Frightened at times by your partner’s behavior? Afraid to disagree with your partner? Often apologizing to others for your partner’s behavior toward you? Verbally degraded by your partner?
Unable to see your friends or family due to your partner’s jealousy or control over you?
Afraid to leave your partner because of threats to hurt you or commit suicide if you do?

Do you…
Sometimes feel as if you have to make up excuses and justify your behavior to avoid your partner’s anger?
Avoid attending family or social functions because you are afraid of how your partner will behave?

Have you been…
Hit, shoved, thrown down, choked, grabbed, physically restrained, threatened, intimidated, humiliated, put down, ridiculed, or attacked by your partner with thrown objects?
Forced by your partner to engage in sexual acts against your will?

Signs that you may BE an abusive partner:

Do you…
Frequently check on your partner’s whereabouts, friends, or activities?
Criticize or insult your partner?
Believe that you are permitted to hit, shove, or slap your partner for actions you do not like?
Believe that your inappropriate or violent behaviors are cause by your partner’s actions?

Have you…
Threatened or broken things to frighten your partner?
Threatened to leave or actually left your partner in a dangerous or unknown place?
Driven too fast or recklessly to frighten your partner?
Hit, shoved, thrown down, choked, grabbed, physically restrained, threatened, intimidated, humiliated, put down, ridiculed or attacked your partner with thrown objects?
Blamed your violent or abusive behavior toward your partner on alcohol or other drugs?
Intimidated your partner to get your way?
Threatened to harm yourself I your partner leaves or breaks up with you?
Forced or coerced your partner into unwanted sexual acts?

Leaving a Violent Relationship:

Relationship abuse is much more complex than most people realize. The victims of abusive relationships may not even realize what is happening until the abuse has escalated to the point of real physical danger. It makes it hard for the victims to leave the relationship because of overdependence on the abuser, fear of being left alone and without financial means, terror over worse or even deadly violence, or concern for children who may be part of the relationship. Relationship violence tends to get worse and worse as time goes on. The victim of the violence is, ironically, at the greatest risk of violence when trying to leave the abuser. It makes sense, the goal of the abuser is to have dominance over their partner and once the abuser sees that they don’t have that dominance anymore, they tend to be more violent than ever in the attempt to regain the dominance and control that they once had.

What should a victim do to be reasonably safe after leaving an abusive relationship? (Not guaranteed but can help)

1. Assess the abuser’s danger level and the violence or threats that were made if the victim were to leave the relationship. 2. Have an escape plan. Know how to escape if the abuser attempts to access you at home, at work, at relative’s homes or anywhere else that a violent approach might be attempted. Stay one step ahead of the abuser at all times. 3. Create a safety network of trusted people. Keep their phone numbers handy at all times. Work out how they can provide a place to hide or other forms of shelter from the abuse. 4. Obtain a court-ordered restraining order that legally requires the abuser to stay away from you. Even this is no guarantee of safety, but many abusers will not violate a restraining order because they can be arrested and jailed if they do.

CHAPTER 6:

Masturbation will be the Death of you: Few areas in Western cultural beliefs have changed as radically or quickly as our attitudes about sexual behavior. Masturbation, for some people, is embarrassing and a highly personal topic. In contrast to peoples attitudes today, consider the following excerpt from Sexology, a book by William H. Walling, the quote is from the chapter titled “Masturbation, Male”.

“Perhaps the most constant and invariable, as well as earliest signs of the masturbator are the downcast, averted glance, and the disposition of solitude. Prominent characteristics are loss of memory and intelligence, morose disposition, indifference to legitimate pleasures and sports, and stupid stolidity. The masturbator gradually loses his moral faculties; he becomes listless, incapable of all intellectual exertion; he is taken by surprise if required simply to reply to a child’s question.”

You can see from this quote how extreme some professionals’ views were in the early 1900’s concerning the practice of masturbation among boys and men. However, the activity reached an even more negative tone when such behavior was suspected in women. The following quote is from the Chapter titled, “Masturbation, Female” in Walling’s book:

“Alas that such a term is possible! O, that it were as infrequent as it is monstrous, and that no stern necessity compelled us to make the startling disclosures which this chapter must contain! We beseech, in advance, that every young creature, if she yet be pure and innocent, will at least pass over this chapter, that she may not know the depths of degradation into which it is possible to fall. The symptoms which enable you to recognize or suspect this crime [of masturbation] are the following: A general condition of weakness and loss of flesh; the absence of freshness and beauty; of color from the complexion; of the vermillion from the lips’ and whiteness from the teeth; which are replaced by a pale, lean, puffy, flabby, livid physiognomy;…bluish circles around they eyes, dry cough, paint on the least exertion.”

For both male and female masturbation, Walling said that masturbation would led to sickness, physical wasting away, and eventually death. This is completely untrue, and things have vastly changed since this period of time. In fact, slightly more than a century after this book was published, masturbation has become a widely accepted activity. Masturbation is one of the key components of sex therapy and sexual satisfaction, and it has even been included in the plot lines of numerous television dramas and sitcoms. Masturbation is a choice, not everyone has to do it and not everyone will do it. People need to be a ware that it’s a choice and that they should do whatever sexual activities and situations make them comfortable.

Erotophobia – Erotophilia: A measure of Sexual Comfort

In the 1980’s a group of researchers developed the Sexual Opinion Survey (SOS) to measure and study people’s reactions to sexual issues and behaviors. This scale places people on a scale or continuum the researchers called erotophobia-erotophilia. Erotophobic individuals have narrow sexual comfort zones, respond negatively and uncomfortably to sexual topics, and may tend to avoid sexual information and activities. Erotophilic individuals feel more comfortable with sexual issues, seek out sexual information, enjoy sexual behavior, and respond with positive emotions to sexual cues. The test people take has 21 questions on a 7 point strongly agree-disagree scale and the questions are based on sexual attitudes. Each of these questions is very controversial and you can see that people would answer these in different ways.

Table 6.6: The Benefits of Masturbation

Sexual self-discovery: Masturbation provides a laboratory for exploring and experimenting with one’s own sexual feelings and sensations. This learning process is important for achieving sexual satisfaction with a partner and in life in general.

Release of sexual tension or frustration: Masturbation may be used to alleviate feelings of sexual frustration resulting from romantic and sexual activities with a partner that do not lead to orgasm or general sexual tensions that may build up over time.

Enhancement of sexual interactions with a partner: Masturbation appears to be related to a person’s sexual satisfaction with a partner now and in the future. Research has shown that people in relationships who masturbate are more sexually satisfied with their partner and their relationship.

Resolution of sexual problems: Many common sexual problems are treated with the help of masturbation. The therapeutic benefits of masturbation exercises may be part of a treatment program prescribed by a professional counselor or a self-help strategy individuals or couples may discover them on their own.

Orgasm: Masturbation has been reported, especially by women, as providing the most reliable and most intense orgasms.

Relief from stress and depression: Many people who masturbate find it helpful in relieving stress, tension, sleeplessness, and depressive symptoms that are not necessarily related to sex activities per se.

Relief from menstrual pain: For some women, masturbating before or during their period reduces or even eliminates menstrual crams.

Compensation for a disparity in a couple’s levels of sexual desire: A common problem couples face is that one wants more frequent sexual contact than the other. While couples may solve this problem using various strategies, masturbation can often help reduce the guild, demand, and frustration often felt by couples in this situation.

Safe Sex: Solo masturbation poses zero risk of STIs or pregnancy. You cannot give yourself an STI or make yourself pregnant. Even when masturbation activities are shared by a couple, it is one of the lowest-risk sexual behaviors.

Anal Stimulation (Know a number) Anal stimulation, which includes anal intercourse, manual stimulation of the anal area, and oral-anal stimulation (anilingus), is the least common of the sexual activities. You may think that Anal sex is done predominantly by homosexual men, but the incidence of anal sexual behavior among heterosexual couples is significantly higher than most people would expect, ranging from 1%-26%. Between 15%-30% of heterosexual men and women report experience with anal intercourse. Among college students, approximately 20% report experiencing anal intercourse and over 50% have engaged in the caressing of the anus. Studies have shown that between 10%-40% of gay men do not include anal intercourse in their lovemaking activities, and that percentage increased dramatically during the 1980’s and early 1990’s due to the high risk of HIV transmission from anal intercourse. However, recently, public health officials were reporting a troubling increase in the number of gay men in the United States who were returning to the highly risky practice of unprotected anal intercourse. Some people view anal play as being dirty or unappealing, however, the tissues of the anus and rectum are very sensitive and many people find these areas to be very pleasurable. It intensifies the orgasm for some people, but it also comes with some health risks that cannot be overlooked.

Frequency and Duration of Coitus:

In the 1940’s and 1950’s, Alfred Kinsey’s surveys revealed that the average number of times married couples reported having intercourse was 2.8 times per week (for those in their 20’s). People used this number to gage how many times they should have sex per week, and many people saw themselves as being abnormal because of how frequently they had sex. A more recent survey was conducted and was shown that the frequency of coitus was much greater than back in the 1940’s and 1950’s. Such statistics are interesting to learn, but shouldn’t be taken seriously because the ideal frequency is whatever the couple thinks is most enjoyable. Couples sexual encounters aren’t very likely to be stable because of certain factors like stress, fatigue, illness, presence or absence of kids and vacation. The frequency of sexual activities decreases as we age but not the pleasure. Lovemaking usually includes behaviors other than coitus itself and the entirety of the experience is important to most people. About 70% of men and women reported that their last lovemaking lasted from 15 minutes to an hour. 20% of men and 15% of women said it lasted an hour or more. Moreover, approximately 41% of people report that their lovemaking sessions involved three or more distinct sexual activities. Only 11% of men and 15% of women said that their most recent sexual event was less than 15 minutes. In terms of intercourse itself, researchers have found that the estimation of the normal length of time of actual penile-vaginal thrusting varies from approximately 3-13 minutes.

CHAPTER 11:

The Introduction on pages 414-415:

Sexual orientation refers to the sex of the individuals to whom a person is romantically, emotionally, and sexually attracted. Heterosexual or straight refers to individuals who are primarily attracted in all those ways to members of the opposite sex. Homosexual, or gay and lesbian apply to those whose primary attraction is to members of their own sex---gay is often used for both men and women, although lesbian refers to homosexual women. Bisexual refers to people who are attracted to members of both sees. The excerpt just presented recounts one student’s journey as he discovered and accepted his sexual orientation. Most of our attention in this chapter will be focused on nonheterosexual orientations. Why? Because most people in most cultures are not only heterosexual but also heterocentric. That is, they take heterosexuality for granted and often have difficulty understanding and accepting nonheterosexual orientations. Statistics vary condierably as to the percentage of people who have a nonheterosexual orientation. Estimates range rom as low as 2% to about 10%, depending on how sexual orientation is defined and where the statistics are gathered. Overall the figure of it is approximately correct in most areas of the United States, and percentages are rarely higher than that, except in specific regions or scities such as San Franscisco (15.4%), Seattle (12.9%), and Minneapolis-St. Paul (12.5%). A recent study found that percentages of adults who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual among the 10 states with the highest totals ranged from 4.7% (Minnesota) to 8.1% (Washington, DC) To understand nonheterosexual orientations better, we will examine what it means to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual in a heterocentric culture, including the current sociopolitical storm over the changing of laws in the United States pertaining to gay marriage. We will analyze various theories about the origins of a person’s sexual orientation. We will consider the challenges a person may face when acknowledging that he or she is not heterosexual, a process called coming out, including such topics as the stigma of HIV. We will conclude with a look at the disturbing nature of prejudice, discrimination, and violence against non-heterosexuals in our society and the emergence and growth of the gay rights movement. Nonheterosexual orientations have been identified in writings and other art forms throughout the world for millennia. But in the next section, we will look back only a few decades to an even considered to be a turning point in the history of gay life in the United States.

Sexual Orientation and Having Children:

Prejudiced statements that gays and lesbians often hear are that they can’t have kids so what’s the point of their relationship? Which is a ignorant statement because there are heterosexual couples who can’t conceive a baby. Gay and Lesbian couples do have kids and they make great parents. Research has proved that nonheterosexual couples show no differences in cognitive development, psychological adjustment, gender identity, or sexual partner preference. It is possible for Gay and Lesbian couples to conceive a child, whether it is direct intercourse, or may it be an artificial spermination, meaning that semen is directly inserted into the vagina using a syringe without a needle. It is also possible for Gay and Lesbian couples to adopt a child in many states. When gay and lesbian couples choose to conceive or adopt, many resources are available in most states and large cities to help them avoid legal problems that might arise in the future.

Coming Out:

A life event that straight people never have to deal with or could never even imagine: coming out – which reflects the fact that in a society that is largely rejecting at best and dangerously hostile at worst, nonheterosexuals typically spend a portion of their lives hiding their true sexual orientation from everyone, sometimes including themselves. They keep their sexual identities “in the closet”. A lot of people find that being in the closet is far too stressful and is unbearable and so they make the painful decision to come out of the closet. Once nonheterosexuals have came out of the closet, they feel as if they are free to be happier, be physically healthier, psychologically better adjusted to life in general, and better able to develop close and mutually satisfying friendships and romantic relationships with others.

Homosexuality and Suicide: Gay and Lesbian teens consider, attempt and complete suicide In significantly greater proportions than straight teens. Young Gay and lesbian teens live a life where they are subjected to ridicule, rejection, verbal abuse and physical violence that they receive because of their sexual orientation. Finding a personal identity and a comfortable sense of self during adolescence is difficult enough for straight teens, but gay and lesbian adolescents must also face a society that is often hostile and rejecting of the central teen issue they are facing; their sexuality. Because of this discrimination, most feel that they must hide from their reality and face ostracism, isolation, loneliness, abuse, stigma and oppression. These perceptions may understandably lead to feelings of anxiety, hopelessness and depression, often accompanied by self-destructive behaviors such as alcohol and other drug abuse. Experiences of victimization and rejection by friends, family and even teachers with all of these mixed emotions form the recipe for suicidal thoughts, behaviors, and attempts.

When rates of attempted suicide among gay and straight teens are compared, the differences are striking. One study in the late 1990’s found that 28% of gay or bisexual male teens had attempted suicide, compared to 4% of straight male teens. Other research has found suicide rates for gay teens ranging from 20% to 42%, a rate 3 to 14 times higher than for straight adolescents. One study found that gay and lesbian high school students were 5 times more likely to seriously contemplate suicide than straight students. Most nonheterosexuals find that it is easier to come out during college because most high schools and college universities are all about learning how to create a sustainable and safe environment for gays, lesbians and bisexuals.

Coming out in College:

Coming out in college for gay and lesbian students in colleges that are not affiliated with certain religions, make genuine efforts to reduce homophobic and antigay attitudes and discriminatory behaviors within the educational community. Although these efforts may provide tremendous help for these students, it may not always be adequate to solve the innumerable problems that nonheterosexual college students face. Although these students have the universities help with homosexual acceptance, they still continue to experience, in many cases, hostile campus environments. Nonheterosexual students often feel the need to hide their orientation from other students, administrators, and campus health care providers because they feel less accepted and respected by heterosexual students. Lesbians reported experiencing these feelings more strongly than gay men. Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals rate themselves as less confident in their heterosexual peers and perceive that they are treated less fairly in various academic settings, especially in dealings with administrators. Research has been found that when students know that their instructor is gay, they perceive the teacher as less believable and feel that they will learn significantly less than students in a class taught by a straight professor.

Sexual Orientation and HIV:

One of the most challenging hurdles that has faced nonheterosexuals, especially gay men, is the stigma of HIV and AIDS. It is true that when AIDS first appeared, the illness and deaths associated with this were occurring primarily in the gay male communities located in New York and San Francisco. When researches first began trying to isolate the cause of the growing epidemic, the illness was given the name gay-related immune deficiency. That lasted less than a year before heterosexual men and women began to become infected and the official name of the disease was quickly changed to acquired immune deficiency syndrome. We have learned that HIV and AIDS are not limited to any one sexual orientation. 90% of HIV infections worldwide are transmitted by heterosexual intercourse. Because there is the stereotype that gay people created the disease, gay people are often discriminated against based on irrational and misinformed beliefs about the illness. The best thing that people can do to help erase this AIDS stigma is educate people about the prejudice, discrimination and intolerance targeted at nonheterosexuals.

Laws prohibiting Gay and Lesbian Sexual Behaviors:

In the past, all states enacted sodomy laws, which prohibited people from engaging in certain sexual acts that were deemed strange, deviant, or immoral. These laws referred to nonreproductive, noncommercial, consensual sexual acts between adults in private and included oral and anal sex at a minimum and in some cases virtually any sexual behavior other than sexual intercourse between a married man and a woman in the “missionary position.” These laws were rarely enforced, and if they were, it was usually against gay male and sometimes lesbian individuals. The case known as Lawrence vs. Texas was a case that a neighbor called the police for a domestic disturbance complaint, which was not real, and the police found 2 men engaged in anal sex and arrested them for violating Texas’ sodomy laws. This case was taken to the Supreme Court which resulted in a 6 to 3 verdict to take down all of Texas’s remaining sodomy laws. The petitioners are entitled to respect for their private lives. The state cannot demean their existence or control their destiny by making their private sexual conduct a crime.

The Psychology of Violent Crime Against Nonheterosexual Groups:

The murders and beatings of gays, lesbians and bisexuals tend to be amongst the most gruesomely violent crimes. They are tortured, brutally beaten, or stabbed numerous times. The degree of hate evidenced by these crimes is difficult for most people to comprehend, but anyone who is openly gay or lesbian will tell you that nonheterosexual individuals are routinely aware and vigilant of the possibility that they could be physically attacked at any moment. Psychologists will agree that it’s one thing to disagree with homosexuality but these over the top reactions of violence and murder are vastly out of proportion to any real threat the victim poses. One of the motivations for irrational antigay attitudes and behaviors that has been proposed is a psychological defense mechanism called a reaction formation, in which a person engages in extreme and exaggerated behaviors in the opposite direction of the persons unacceptable internal urges. The theory states that when some individuals with strong antihomosexual attitudes are forced to confront, consciously or unconsciously, their own homosexual urges, the fear that those urges generate drives them to beat or kill a homosexual person to prove that they couldn’t possibly be gay. In other words, gay bashers may be in deep denial that they themselves are closeted homosexuals and will resort to extreme behaviors to try to alleviate the anxiety their urges are creating in the. Scientific evidence does prove this theory and continues to be heatedly discussed today because it is reported on a study that seems to support the reaction formation explanation of homophobia. The method that the researchers used was very simple. They gave heterosexual male subjects a written scale to determine their level of negative attitudes toward homosexuality, a “homophobia scale.” They then asked each subject to watch sexually explicit videos of heterosexual and homosexual activities and measured their degree of sexual arousal using a penile strain gauge called a penile plethysmograph that records blood flow into the penis to detect sexual arousal. The researchers found that only the men who scored highest on the measure of homophone became sexually aroused in response to the gay male video. This implies that men with stronger antigay attitudes may indeed be experiencing homosexual feelings in themselves but denying them. It follows, then, that gay bashers, who clearly hold the strongest anti-gay feelings, may be resisting the strongest gay tendencies of all within themselves.

CHAPTER 13:

Can We Predict Who Will Rape?

There is no sure way to predict if a person is a rapist, however, there are some signs that might raise a red flag for the “rapist personality.” These are generalizations, but are still potential signs of a rapist: exhibits any physical violence toward her or others even if it’s minor pushing, grabbing, or “pretend” fighting, believes in very traditional male and female roles, has a very short anger fuse, intimidates her by crowding her, blocking her way, or touching her in intimate ways without her consent, is fascinated with various weapons, abuses alcohol or other drugs, or bullies others or is cruel to animals or children. Many great men have some of these characteristics, but would never dream of sexually assaulting anyone. However, rapists seldom possess only a few of these trait; they will usually exhibit many of them. A working knowledge of this list will help women avoid risky situations with potentially dangerous men.

Who Are the Abusers?

A child sex abuser shares predictive characteristics other than knowing the child, and when the stories on the news appear, they invariably shake our trust in our ability to identify adults who might victimize our children. Most Sexual abusers of children were abused the same way when they were a kid, and they fear relationships with adults, but they love relationships with both sexes of children. Often times depression is related with these sexual abusers. Generally, the abuser is addicted to alcohol or a different drug and has a very low paying job. The abusers also tend to engage in a pattern of child sexual abuse with more than one victim, often with many victims, sometimes 100 or more.

Defining Sexual Harassment:

Unwelcome advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal and physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when (1) submission to such conduct is made explicitly or implicity a term or condition of an individual’s academic success, instruction, or employment; (2) submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as a basis for academic or employment decisions affecting such individuals; or (3) such conduct has the purpose of effect of substantially interfering with an individual’s work or academic performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work or academic environment.

The first is the requirement of sexual favors in exchange for some beneficial event, which is commonly described as illustrating quid pro quo (“this for that”). Category number 2 is the creation of a hostile environment due to unwanted, overt, or covert sexually related activities. It is hard to determine when someone crosses the line, but there are ways to tell if a sexual nature is more likely to be considered harassing.

Examples:
If it is unwelcome, unsolicited, and offensive to the victim.
If it is repeated or becomes a pattern of behavior, particularly after a warning from the receiver that it was unwelcome or offensive.
If the behavior involves any supervisor-subordinate relationship where the harasser is in a position of power over some aspect of the receiver’s educational or professional career.
If the conduct is extremely and flagrantly verbally hostile, physical abusive, disruptive, continuous, pervasive, or provoking.
If preferential treatment of some individuals in the workplace or classroom, based on their sexual actions, has a negative impact on others in the same environment.
If the behaviors involve physical touching, groping, massaging, or other intimate behaviors that the recipient finds uncomfortable or offensive.
If a “reasonable person” would likely be affected negatively by similar conduct in a similar situation.

In conclusion, most sexual harassment charges are in response to very clear-cut and usually blatant offenses.

Sexual Harassment at Colleges and Universities: Sexual harassment in college can be either form of sexual harassment, quid pro quo or the creation of a hostile environment, and is usually perpetrated by people of power (faculty) to those with less power (students). 60% of both men and women students reported at least one incident of being sexually harassed at their college or university. The reports of sexual harassment between the faculty (usually male) and students (usually female) are innumerable. Sometimes they end in honest attraction, but most universities make policies against such relationships, but some researchers, instructors and students say the universities should have no business in that type of policy making. The universities fight back and say because there is the possibility and the teachers do hold the keys to the future of the student, that there should be no such relationships.
Both college men and women can be victims to sexual harassment. Typical behaviors associated with student to student harassment include such behaviors as continually asking for dates even when the answer has been a clear no, an unwelcome pattern of waiting outside classrooms, dining halls, and residence halls to “walk her home: or simply to “say hi”, or repeatedly stopping by her room, classroom or apartment without consent. The harasser may also physically touch the victims ass or their tits. Other harassing behaviors may include unwanted kissing, intimidating her by leering, making suggestive gestures, or blocking her freedom of movement, telephoning at all hours of the day or night, spreading flattering sexual rumors about her, stalking her, sending numbers unwanted emails or voicemails, verbally abusing her following rejection and rape or attempted rape. Most colleges and universities have instituted policies that prohibit sexual harassment between students and a student perpetrator may be suspended, expelled or arrested. However, these are hard to enforce because most sexual harassment on campus in hidden, secretive and insidious.

CHAPTER 14:

Is Sexual Addiction a Paraphilia?:

Sexual Addiction is not defined as a paraphilia, but rather as a nonparaphilic sexual compulsivity. In fact, the DSM-V is suggesting that this disorder should be termed hypersexual disorder. Sex addicts attempt to satisfy their constant and overpowering sexual cravings by taking excessive time planning and engaging In sexual behavior. These thoughts or cravings are obsessive, which is out of their control, and he or she can’t stop them, ever. However, Sexual Addiction (hypersexual disorder) may be drawn into sexual behaviors that are clearly paraphilia, including exhibitionism, voyeurism, pedophilia or socially unacceptable behaviors like extramarital affairs, sexual harassment or rape.

Gender and Paraphilias:

Generally, but not always, men are nearly always the people that engage in paraphilia. The one exception to this rule is sexual masochism, which is found in women more often than other paraphilias but is still more common in men. A hypothesis was created that the reason that men are more involved in paraphilias is because they have a stronger sexual drive than women do, which is incorrect because there are also men that don’t have any paraphilias but still have a strong sexual drive. Instead of it being that they have a stronger sex drive, it is more cultural. Western Culture allows men to be more sexual in their thinking and they express it in paraphilic ways. Research has indicated that in cultures where sexual activity is regarded as serving primarily a reproductive function, rather than an attraction-based function, paraphilias among men and women and significantly less common.

Victimizing Paraphilias:

Victimizing paraphilias involve an unsuspecting, nonconsenting, or unwilling victim who is the target of the compulsive, sometimes violent behavior. The following paraphilias have been enacted against in the United States:

Voyeurism--recurring urge to secretly watch others undress or engage in sexual activities without their knowledge or consent.

Exhibitionism—sexual arousal or gratification is displaying one’s genitals to others without their consent.

Frotteurism—the recurring compulsion to rub one’s genitals against a nonconsenting person for sexual arousal and, typically, orgasm.

Sexual Sadism—the recurring, compulsive urge to inflict pain and humiliation for sexual gratification.

Sexuality and Culture: Overcoming the Catholic Priest Pedophilia Scandals:

The pedophilia amongst Catholic Priests has been shocking, and has shaken many peoples faith in human nature and in the Catholic Church as well. There are Estimates that say in the last 50 years, 3,000 to 5,000 minors were sexually involved with a priest, that’s 5% of the total number of Catholic Priests! Pope Benedict XVI acknowledged that the scandals of sexual abuse by children by priests have created a deep shame within the church and cause enormous suffering to the victims and their communities. He then pledged to keep pedophiles out of the priesthood.
Many believe that psychology will play a key role in developing solutions to this complex and painful problem. One suggestion is that psychologists must vies the Catholic Church and the priesthood as cultures unto themselves and adopt a multicultural perspective, just as one might to in helping any cultural subgroup overcome an internal problem that threatens its internal social structure.

There are two persistent myths behind the pedophilia in priests. The first is that pedophilic behavior of priests has been due to the church’s culture of celibacy. The second myth is that the church scandals are related to a culture of homosexuality in the church, in that men with homosexual tendencies are drawn to the all-male culture of the priesthood, which in itself is not typically based on fact for most priests, and the crimes of child molestation have been attributed to more situational factors by many.

We do see several common characteristics in many or most of the priests who have abused children. One being that they were abused when they were children just as normal pedophiles were. Some other characteristics that pedophile priests show in significantly larger proportions than in the general population, including poor impulse control, underdeveloped social skills, substance abuse, depressive and bipolar disorders, and various personality disorders, especially narcissistic disorder and dependent disorder.

Various treatments for paraphilias in general in the form of psychotherapy and medication:

Develop strategies to help practicing priests and those in training to develop healthy interpersonal relationships that are nonsexual. In some cases at least, psychological intimacy with others may reduce or eliminate the need for priests with pedophilic inclinations to turn to sexually abusing children.

Employ more effective screening strategies for high-risk individuals entering priesthood.

Increase surveillance of priests when they are interacting with children.

Provide valid psychological assessment and evaluation instruments that may be used prior to admission to seminary or ordination to screen out perspective priests who may have compulsive tendencies toward pedophilia.

Offer effective consulting, counseling, and therapy services for priests, bishops, and parishes. These services may involve one-to-one counseling with at-risk clergy, priest wellness or therapy groups, or community education with parishioners about keeping children safe or identifying warning signs of potential sexual misconduct.

Reduce one on one time for priests and children.

Provide training workshops for priests on maintaining appropriate boundaries with parishioners; raising awareness of warning signs of potential problems; working with challenging clients’ and dealing with stress, anxiety, or conflict.

Establish specific codes and rules of conduct that set rules for unacceptable behavior of priests with minors.

Engage in substantive scientific research to enhance understanding, prediction, and treatment of sexual abuse within the ranks of the clergy.

Autoerotic Asphyxiation: Autoerotic asphyxiation involves depriving the brain of oxygen, usually through some form of strangulation or hanging, during masturbation. It can happen between a couple during sexual intercourse, but is less common and it is called hypoxyphilia. This is engaged mostly in adolescent males and men between the ages of 15-30. There is a small amount of this that has been found in women as well, not just in men. The motivation for this appears to be because oxygen deprivation enhances the orgasmic sensations during masturbation; however, there is no direct relation between the two. In other words, it doesn’t enhance anything sexually. Autoerotic Asphyxiation should not be confused with suicide because death linked to this behavior is nearly always accidental. People are generally hung to cut off the supply of oxygen but, the danger is that sometimes the devices that you use to stop the oxygen with, are too effective and cause unintentional unconsciousness and death.

Human Sexuality Study Guide – Lecture Notes

Love, Dating and Sexual Relationships: Sternberg’s 3 Components of Love are Passion, Intimacy and Commitment.

Intimacy – Which encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.

Passion – Which encompasses drives connected to both limerence and sexual attraction.

Commitment – Which encompasses, in short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other.

There are shifts with these combinations of Intimacy, the shift can be viewed as a triangle that functions to the “style” of love, which may vary over the course of the relationship:

Nonlove: absence of all three components of love. Nonlove characterizes the large majority of our personal relationships, which are simply casual interactions.

Liking/friendship: used here in a nontrivial sense. It refers to the set of feelings one experiences in relationships that can truly be characterized as friendship. One feels closeness, bondedness, and warmth toward the other, without feelings of intense passion or long-term commitment.

Infatuated love: Experiencing of passionate arousal in the absence of intimacy and decision/commitment. Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time. Without developing intimacy or commitment, infatuated love may disappear suddenly.

Empty love: commitment without intimacy or passion. A stronger love may deteriorate into empty love. In an arranged marriage, the spouses relationship may begin as empty love and develop into another form, indicating “how empty love need not be the terminal state of a long-term relationship but the beginning rather than the end.

Romantic Love: a combination of the intimate and passionate components of love… romantic lovers are not only drawn physically to each other but are also bonded emotionally, but are not completely committed to each other. Companionate love: an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment. This is found in long-term marriages where passion is no longer present, but where a deep affection and commitment remain. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship.

Fatuous love: the sense that a commitment is made on the basis of passion without the stabilizing influence of intimate involvement.

Consummate love: the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship which people strive towards. Consummate love is the love that is associated with that “perfect couple.” The couples will have sex for 15 years or more into the relationship, and they can’t imagine themselves as being so attached to someone else. As good and cute as this may be, Sternberg cautions that maintaining consummate love may be harder than achieving it. Thus, consummate love may not be permanent. If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love.

Typically, men are more romantic than women when it comes to gender differences, but that is not to say that aren’t some women that are more romantic than their male partners.

Marriage Squeeze is a situation in which African American women find it hard to meet and marry desirable African American men. A few things that might lead to this sociological condition: African American man suffer from higher rates of incarceration, unemployment and poor health than do their white counterparts in the United States. These things make their lives unstable. It seems as if it is a goal for African American Women to marry people who are above or within their economical and social class. There are possible explanations for the relatively low number of African American/Asian American interracial couplings. It could be cover racism from first generation family members at the idea of marrying African Americans. These negative views possibly stem from stereotypes within the Asian community which portray African Americans as “violent” and “lazy” or from the perception that marrying a black partner constitutes “marrying down” because black Americans are on average less affluent than Caucasian Americans.

Relationship Scripts entail that men engage in more redundant actions than do women’s scripts, indicating that women have more complex memory structures for relational development than do me. Which shows that women may be more of “relationship experts” than men. A notable difference in these scripts was that men described greater sexual involvement with their date than women did. The research shows that men have greater sexual expectations than do women.

Sexual Behavior Patterns and Atypical Sexual Behavior:

Education effects Sexual behavior Patterns and Atypical Sexual behaviors in a positive way. As far as Sexual behaviors are concerned, an educational lesson on sex actually helps people learn the consequences of some sexual behaviors and also what is typical and what is atypical.

Atypical Sexual behaviors are things that people do, sexually, that aren’t necessarily following the “norm” of sexual behaviors. Some atypical sexual behaviors fall along the lines of Anal, Extramarital sex and homosexual sex. Also, some sexual BDSM (Bondage, Discipline and Sadomasochism) is considered to be atypical. Bondage means to “physically restrain” so the use of handcuffs or being pinned down, this is found to be sexually appealing in both men and women. The discipline part of things describes the “psychological restraining.” The sadomasochism aspect of BDSM is relating to both “psychologically restraining and physically restraining.” That being said, the masochist is different from just a sadist. A masochist enjoys being hurt, humiliated, or suffering within the consensual scenario while on the other hand, a sadist enjoys inflicting the pain on their sexual partner.

Paraphilia are very atypical sexual practices that may fascinate, repel or even anger people. The word was created from the Greek’s which translates as “abnormal love.” According to the DSM, which is a guidebook for mental health professionals when diagnosing all known and widely accepted psychological disorders, there are a few paraphilias in it, but the reason that not all of them are in there is because he manual indicates that the material must be causing distress or impairment in life to the individual who engages in it and must have continued for a minimum of 6 months to be diagnosed. Paraphilias are not, psychiatric disorders. There are some behaviors that are acceptable and labeling paraphilias as a disorder would indicate that all people would need to have psychiatric intervention. Instead, it is requested that there should be “paraphilic disorders,” which is described as being a paraphilia that causes distress or impairment to the individual or harm to others.

Transvestic fetishism is a man who obtains sexual satisfaction by wearing female clothing. The women’s clothing is, in essence, the fetish object, but in order for it to be considered a paraphilia, the man has to be wearing it, not just touching it or fondling it. The DSM is proposing to change this designation to “transvestic disorder,” in which the c ross-dressing is causing distress or impairment in normal function. This might not fall under the category of fetishism unless the clothing itself, whether or not it is being worn, creates sexual arousal. Transvestism is limited to heterosexual men, which means that it doesn’t mean that person is gay or bisexual. Studies actually indicate that 70%-90% of transvestites are actually heterosexual men. Another myth is that men that dress like women for sexual purposes do so because they want to be women. Research has shown that 95% of transvestites perceive themselves, without hesitation, as male.

Sexual Assault and Rape:

Rape- Any form of sexual contact in which one person forces another person to participate or when person does not give consent to sexual contact.

False assumptions:

Women want to be raped: No they do not, nobody wants to be forced to do something that they don’t want to do.

“No: means “yes”: In this situation, the male would say that the woman is being flirty in the way that she is saying no just to motivate them to want to do it more, which is false.

Women ask for it by the way that they act or dress: Also false. This is false because the laws of sexual harassment say that a woman can dress the way that they want and act the way they want without the attention of sexual harassment, or rape.

A woman could get away if she really wanted to: Despite how strong some women are, there are ways to get women in positions where they cannot react, like drugging them or pinning them down and forcing them to do it.

Women “cry rape”, falsely accusing men: This is a situation that many people have come across to show that they cry rape just to bring attention to themselves to get men away from them, it doesn’t happen like that, they say it when they mean it.

“It won’t happen to me.”: In this situation, it may be a woman in denial and the thoughts that they are not attractive to a rapist and that they don’t have to worry about it. It doesn’t matter what you look like, rape can happen to anyone.

Rape is an impulsive act of passion or natural male reaction to wanting sex: Rape is not an impulsive act of passion nor is it a reaction to a male wanting sex, if this was the case, all men would be rapists.

A husband has a marital right to sexual relations with his life: In no way does a marriage entail that a man gets to have sexual relations with his wife, in fact, some people want to stay abstinent for the rest of their lives.

On the average college campus, 20-25% of women are raped. This is a serious problem that is almost impossible to prevent.

Women aren’t the only people that can be raped, men can also be raped but their reports are less accurate because they don’t report it as often because of their same. Nearly 3% of men are raped and 20% of women are raped in their lifetime. 80% of the women that are raped know the person that rapes them, and are acquainted with their rapist.

There are a lot of contributions to acquaintance rape, one is movies that often portray women as enjoying interactions with aggression, force and sex. Another contribution is just the social norm of men, which is to “get with” as many girls as they possibly can. Often times women are socialized to be evasive about their sexual interest. As a result, men think women say no when they mean yes, this could lead to misinterpretation of body language and resistance.

Sexual Orientation:

Homosexual—when he primary attraction is to members of their own sex (male to male or female to female)

Myths of homosexuality:

Most gays and lesbians are unable to form close, enduring romantic relationships and prefer to be promiscuous.
Gay and lesbian relationships are more likely than heterosexual relationships to be unhappy and dysfunctional.
In same-sex relationships, one partner chooses or is assigned the role of “husband” and the other takes on the role of “wife.”
Most gay and lesbian couples are isolated from society and do not have meaningful social support networks.

Arguments that sexual orientation results from biological factors usually fall into one of three categories: brain structure and function, hormones, and genes. Some shapes of the brain, specifically the hypothalamus is smaller in gay males, and is similar to the size and shape that is found in women. An example of a hormonal hypothesis would be the development of nonheterosexual fingers. The length of the ring finger in women is a lot more similar to the index finger, while in men there is a difference between the two. The genetic theory proposes that a person’s sexual orientation is preprogrammed at conception when the genes from the mother’s egg and the father’s sperm merge to create the blueprint for a new person.

Most influential genetic studies involve pairs of identical twins, some of whom were adopted at birth, or very soon after, into different families and therefore different environments. If two individuals with the same genetic make up, that is identical or monozygotic twins, share certain personality characteristics far more often than fraternal, dizygotic, twins or nontwin brothers and sisters, this argues that genetic influences most probably account for those shared characteristics. Studies have shown that when one member of a pair of identical twins is gay or lesbian, then the chances are much higher that the other twin will share the same sexual orientation than would be expected among fraternal twins or nontwin siblings. Findings from this study indicated a smaller influence of genetic factors (18% to 39%) but a very small influence of environmental factors shared by twins (0-17%) Each twin’s individual experiences appeared to influence choice of partner most strongly. Essentially 40-50% of the variation in sexual orientation can be explained by genetic influences, so even if we accept this fact, genes are not the whole story and other influences cannot be ignored. Scientists question the need to prove that a “gay gene” exists at all.

Gay and lesbian couples are more upbeat in the face of conflict: Compared to heterosexual couples, gay and lesbian couples inject more affection and humor into their disagreements and conflicts, and same-sex partners are more positive in how they receive messages about conflict. Gay and lesbian couples are also more likely to remain positive about the relationship after a disagreement.

Gay and lesbian couples use fewer controlling or hostile emotional tactics: Gay and lesbian partners display less belligerence, domineering behavior and fear with each other than straight couples. They use fewer controlling tactics and recognize better the importance of fairness and a balance of power than heterosexual couples.

In a fight, gay and lesbian couples take things less personally: In heterosexual couples, a partner may be more easily hurt by a negative comment and less likely to feel uplifted with a positive comment. The opposite seems to be the case in gay and lesbian couples. Gay and lesbian partners’ positive comments have more impact on feelings good, and their negative comments are less likely to produce personal hurt feelings.

Gay and lesbian couples tend to show lower levels of physiological arousal during conflict: Again, this is generally the opposite for heterosexual couples, for whom the physiological arousal (including elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, and jitteriness) produced by conflict signifies ongoing aggravation. The ongoing aroused state makes it difficult for partners to calm down and move past the conflict. Gay and lesbian couples’ lower level of psychological arousal allows them to soothe one another during or soon after the conflict.

Homosexuals experience relationship instability just as heterosexuals do. However, their instability is a lot different than that of heterosexuals. People who feel stigmatized or discriminated against because of their sexual orientation, who have to hide their homosexuality, or who are discouraged from associating with other lesbian or gay individuals report increased stress and mental health problems. This added stress naturally adds pressure to relationships.

Biphobia—aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social group or individuals. A lot of people get confused with this topic because they think that you can either like males or females, not both, but it is, in fact, true that you can like both. There are people who are personally affected by Bisexual people, they are known as Biphobiacs.