# Good Graph Description.

Topics: Mobile phone, Penalty Pages: 5 (853 words) Published: June 17, 2012
1. Evidence in numbers Features of Good Graph Descriptions
Semester 2, Block 2, Week 6
Doc 6.2E

Example: Script 1 Lines 10-12 Original: • In the second chart, most of the people thought any mention of fine was the best penalty. Nearly 69% of all adults, 59% of drivers and 51% of male drivers under 35 thought so.

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1. Evidence in numbers
Example: Script 1 Lines 10-12 Improved: • In the second chart, most of the people interviewed thought a fine was the penalty. Nearly 69% of all adults, 59% of drivers and 51% of male drivers under 35 thought so.

1. Evidence in numbers
Example: Script 1 Lines 10-12 Extended: • In the second chart, most of the people interviewed thought a fine was the penalty. Nearly 69% of all adults reported this, while the number for drivers and male drivers was slightly lower: 59% and 51% respectively. 3 4

2. Main Trends
Example: Script 3 Lines 13-15 Original: • From the graph, we can clearly see that all the three group of people… have the highest percentage of people in the choice “any mention of fine”.

2. Main Trends
Example: Script 3 Lines 13-15 Improved: • From the graph, we can clearly see that for all three groups of people… the choice “any mention of fine” had the highest percentage.

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2. Main Trends
Example: Script 3 Lines 13-15 Extended: • From the graph, we can clearly see that for all three groups of people… the penalty of having to pay a fine was the most common belief.

3. Comparisons and Differences
Example: Script 4 Lines 6-8 Original: At the other end of the scale, male drivers under 35 seemed to have more proportions of using mobile phones while driving. which is in stark contrast with all drivers.

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3. Comparisons and Differences
Example: Script 4 Lines 6-8 Improved: At the other end of the scale, a higher proportion of male drivers under 35 seem to use mobile phones while driving, which is in stark contrast to all drivers.

3. Comparisons and Differences
Example: Script 4 Lines 6-8 Extended: At the other end of the scale, a higher proportion of male drivers under 35 reported that they used mobile phones while driving, which is in stark contrast to all drivers.

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Example: Script 2 Lines 19-22 Original: • The male drivers which are under 35 did use a hands free phone while driving and they pointed out there should be fine for those who use phones while driving.

Example: Script 2 Lines 19-22 Improved: • Male drivers under 35 not only reported they used a hands free phone while driving, but also pointed out there should be a fine for those who use phones while driving.

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Example: Script 2 Lines 19-22 Extended: • It is interesting to note that male drivers under 35 not only reported the highest use of hands free phones while driving, but also were fully aware that the penalty for doing this was a fine.

5. Use of results
Example: Script 2 Lines 30-32 Original: • Yet these data do mean something to the drivers, especially the young drivers. They should think twice while making calls on the way driving.

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5. Use of results
Example: Script 2 Lines 30-32 Improved: • US: Yet these data are important for drivers, especially young drivers. They should think twice before making calls while driving. • UK: Yet this data is important for drivers, especially young drivers. They should think twice before making calls while driving.

5. Use of results
Example: Script 2 Lines 30-32 Extended: • However, this data provides important insights into issues which are particularly important for young drivers. A government campaign needs to get the message across to this group that they should think twice before making calls while driving. 16

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6. Significance/implications
Example: Script 4 Lines 20-23 Original: • It is of great significance that in UK fine is more common than points and both fine and...